Allycat2016 Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 My ex boyfriend and I had a closure convo five months after break up recently. He told me there were fundamental personality issues that make us not a long term match. I know that these fundamental issues were a result of me pushing him away and being young and anxious about figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I was uncertain and not ready to make him a priority. Now more than ever, after therapy and growing, I want him back because I care for him so deeply. I love who he is as a person and I miss his calming presence. He told me he is 100% certain we are not a match long term but wants to open door for friendship. A friendship does little for me but makes me happy that we are on good terms. Unfortunately, my persistent and hopeful personality still defaults to thinking: Would proving my changes through a friendship make him change his mind? Background: We were in a long distance relationship and I moved to be with him. The move caused a great deal of stress because I still wanted to reach goals professionally in the city I was living in. I subconsciously decided to just be super negative so that he would be okay with going me back to my old city - still a little hazy why I couldn't deal with my emotions. Also, I think I was also scared that he had qualities that wouldn't change - such as being unmotivated. I ended up returning to my old city in fear that our issues wouldn't be resolved and if he loved me, he would move. He broke up wth me instead. Since the break up five months ago, I've been in a great deal of therapy understanding my priorities and realizing how amazing of a human he is. I think he needs someone who can support him and bring him up and now that I am more settled in my own mind and body, I know I can do that. Can you tell I put needs of others before my own a lot...it comes naturally to me. Link to post Share on other sites
backandforth Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 Gah! If only the women in my life had the same mentality as you! If I were you, I would ask to meet with him. Sit him down and tell him everything you've said here. If he's still not interested, try to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Allycat2016 Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 I already sat him down. This is before diagnosing him w fear of intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
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