alone in a relationship abroad

[alonee]

I am beyond lost. Me and my bf have been together for 3 years,lived and traveled together for 3 years! About 1 year ago he wanted to move to china because of his work. So i left my job, our apartment, friends (and this place we were living for 1 year; when we met we were both going abroad to travel after 8 months we decided to move to another city in our county and after 1 year there we decided to move to another city in a country close), see we were living in this place for 1 year and he wanted to move because of better job opportunities.

 

So we did! And Since we landed I've felt like he abandoned me. its like he couldnt wait to get here so he can have his time. The worste part is that most of the time we're not even in the same country. He's working somewhere else. Ive tried to make a life for us here but its too hard when I just feel so alone and i have nothing to do. I tried doing a masters here but I just felt so drained of energy it was too hard.

 

I feel so sad because i dont understand why he'd take me here if he's just gonna leave me all alone at home. doing nothing. waiting for him to come home. and he never says when because due to his job its uncertain.

 

I cant handle any more of this! I feel like im screaming and yelling and holding on to him begging him to stay and see how horrible I feel but he's just gone.

 

I am his first gf, he's 29 and I'm 28. I want to move forward, get engaged, married and have kids, I want to settle down. I feel like im constantly waiting for him to grow up and be 29! but its as if he's stuck in being 20 and just traveling and getting a kick off of having more money.

 

I feel like i want to go back home. But I've put 3 years in to this and ive given my all and got nothing back. I wish so badly I'd never moved here.

I just feel so weak and alone, im not the person i used to be, everything is so difficult.

 

 

What do you think I should do?