scratch Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by tiki It's my opinion and I don't have to support it. Let me guess, you're a man? This father is (obviously) passing up his obligation to take care of (and nurture) his ill child. Hmm. Speaks for itself. I'm not saying all fathers are like this. I'm not saying all mothers are better parents. But it's obvious to me that when you're dealing with a sick child, most prefer their mother's care. The posts I quoted said "No man wants to raise kids full time" and "women are more nurturing than men." Sounds to me like you were very much speaking about all men, and women. Did I misinterpret? To be honest, I'm somewhat inclined to agree with you. Then again, there are a ton of areas where I wonder if men and women are not equal, but were I to voice them I'd surely be branded as an ignorant sexist. Why would a sick child implicitly prefer a mother's care? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by scratch The posts I quoted said "No man wants to raise kids full time" and "women are more nurturing than men." Sounds to me like you were very much speaking about all men, and women. Did I misinterpret? BULLCRAP. And if you're going to quote me, PLEASE get your information right! I said No man wants no life. not "No man wants to raise kids full time". Maybe you're hypersensitive?? By default, you're more nurturing in nature. And how is this not true? By default, this woman is more nuturing than the father. He's proven that! To be honest, I'm somewhat inclined to agree with you. Then again, there are a ton of areas where I wonder if men and women are not equal, but were I to voice them I'd surely be branded as an ignorant sexist. Then what's the problem? I don't care how I come off if I'm stating my opinion. Why would a sick child implicitly prefer a mother's care? When it came to you being sick, which did you prefer as a baby? A child? An adult? Who was 'softer' per se? Who was always there? Who never failed, always shone through? Most of the times (not always) it's the mommy's, let's face it. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by tiki BULLCRAP. And if you're going to quote me, PLEASE get your information right! Originally posted by tiki No man wants no life. And no offense, but two full-time kids is basically like having no life... You're telling me that this statement is different than saying "No man wants to rasie kids full time?" All I did was read your two postulates and condense them. I guess your mom was especially nurtuing when you had to stay home during logic class. Originally posted by tiki When it came to you being sick, which did you prefer as a baby? A child? An adult? Who was 'softer' per se? Who was always there? Who never failed, always shone through? Most of the times (not always) it's the mommy's, let's face it. My Dad was equally as nurturing as my Mom, and that was also what I saw in most of my friend's cases. However, the fathers tended to be better educated, more successful, more articulate and confident, and better leaders than the mothers. Shall we face the facts that men are better in all these areas than women? Although I noticed this trend as a child, and in my work settings, I still try to keep an open mind that women are just as useful outside the home as men are. Do you recommend I embrace my opinion and shrug off this notion of equality, as you did? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 How bout use some LOGIC on this one. You should start your own thread instead of derailing this one if you're interested in debating the topic. You misquoted me and I pointed that out. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by tiki How bout use some LOGIC on this one. You should start your own thread instead of derailing this one if you're interested in debating the topic. You misquoted me and I pointed that out. Typical female behavior - instead of responding to well-laid out arguments, she criticizes me for something irrelevant. (I don't really think this is typical female behavoir, just demonstrating an example of how we - and I - need to be careful with generalizations.) Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Typical new user to a forum behavior. You should read the guidelines about staying on topic and replying to the original poster's question, not patronize those whom have replied. If you want to start a debate of your own, you should start it ON YOUR OWN THREAD instead of derailing the original poster's. Did you even answer her question/concern by the way by giving her YOUR opinion??? After all, that is why she posted, to obtain opinions of others here on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mz. Pixie Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Tiki- I would gladly change my e mail addy, but he sends them to me at work, which would by the way get him fired if I sent them to his boss. I'm just about at the point of telling him I will do that if he continues. I keep telling him to only e mail me about the kids but when I call him on his behavior all he wants to bring up are the divorce issues. I know he's hurt and obviously not over it yet, but I've about taken all the abuse I'm going to stomach. We have joint custody. He rationalizes he shouldn't pay support because we split the kids, I only have them half the time. He said he would pay the daycare expenses just because he was afraid I wouldn't pay my half and they would get kicked out. Hmmmm, I couldn't pay my half even if I wanted to! Bottom line is he is taking his anger out on me by not giving me money to support his children. I gave in in the divorce because I didn't want to continue to fight. My attorney stunk and I'm still paying him. I got the shaft. That is why I plan on taking him back to court. For the support that I can get and I want to be custodial parent- making all the decisions for the kids if we can't agree. That right there will be worth the price of the new attorney because then someone who can be rational will be the decision maker. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 My exH pays very little CS, we have our child jointly until this August (school-age). He makes more than I do, but other than that, no beefs from my end. Do you use Outlook Express? It's very easy to block his email address out so that he can't send you harassing emails...it's the LAST thing you need at work! He's acting like an assclown, make it stop. Cut it at the cord. Quit taking his calls, let the answering machine get it, block him from email and let him sit and steam. He needs to realize how stupid he's acting. Remind him if you must that he cannot talk to/harass you in this fashion, that you won't stand for it. Tell him not to call unless he can be civil. It needs to be treated like a business relationship. He is not your husband, you are not his wife....you no longer have to deal with all the bitching! REMIND HIM OF THAT!!! Then no sending emails on your part, no nasty calls, no nothing. GIVE HIM NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. How long have the two of you been divorced? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mz. Pixie Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Emotionally divorced for about three years on my end. Paperwork has been final since March. I have reminded him that I'm not married to him anymore and my actions are not his business. I do not send him nasty e mails- never have, and I do not ever call him and act nasty. It's all been on his part. I've done nothing but try to keep things civil for the kids. I will look into the block thingy on outlook, thanks for the tip. I think I've taken his crap this long because I felt guilty about leaving him. I'm not the heartless, mean, xitch that he's pointed out that I am, but it's time for everyone to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Well, the only thing that matters now, is not whether you're a bitch or not, but whether you're a good mom to your children. Don't let him fool you into thinking otherwise, it's not important. As long as your children are being taken care of, that's the only thing you need to worry about. Stay focused on that. In OE, highlight the email and go to message, block sender. I hope it works for you. Tell him to contact you only in case of an emergency or if something has changed/come up. Otherwise, what he's doing is harassing you and making your life miserable. Cut it at the cord. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mz. Pixie Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 I keep telling him- what you think about me as a wife doesn't matter right now, only that I'm a good mother to the kids. He knows I am. Then, I always say- the marriage is over- let's focus on being the best parents we can for the kids. Even though he has tried his best to make me miserable since I left him- including turning all of our friends against me- I'm happier now than I've ever been. He can't stand that he can't pop my bubble. If I block him in Outlook will he get a email reply back stating he's been blocked? This whole thing is so hard. I get so discouraged sometimes.........it's so tiring. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 I have a bazillion spammers blocked on OE. The bad thing is, no...(I tried it for myself, just to check for ya)...there is no message sent in return, it just automatically sends it to your deleted box. Although, you could try to go into message and create some type of rule for it, or an automatic reply. Who knows....some techies here could help you with that. You should be able to block them with the assistance of your ISP I would think?? I know my H's ex was sending harassing emails and we had to cut that crap out right then & there too. She's just a harassing mofo. But it worked, no more emails. Tell him everytime he emails you something nasty, you're going to forward it to his HR/boss, somebody. Good luck, I really hope it all works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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