GUYS, what really is his deal?

[Sad Gurl]

I met a guy about 8 months ago and we became really good friends. I met him when my cheating boyfriend and I had just broken up. After talking with him a few times, I grew to trust him and told him about all my problems. At that time, he didn't have a girlfriend, so we would hang out alot. Well, eventually, my ex-boyfriend came back into my life, but my new friend and I kept contact the whole time. I wouldn't lie about anything. When he would ask me about my ex, I would tell him the truth, that we kept contact. Things didn't work out with my ex, so we cut off everything. At that very time, however, my friend began dating a girl, but we remained friends. He would come over to my house at times and we would talk on the phone every once in a while, but while he had his girlfriend, he told me that he had feelings for me. Last month, late one night, he called me because he had caught his girlfriend cheating on him. Ever since that night, he began calling me everyday. Since I recently moved an hour away, he went to visit me one weekend, and spent 2 nights with me. The first night he was there, he told me how much he cared about me and that he had strong feelings for me. Last week, however, he didn't call me for a couple of days, even though I tried calling him, he didn't return my phone call. I called him out on it and just let him know that I really didn't want to be hurt again, and that I didn't want him to negate any feelings. He told me that he wouldn't hurt me and that he was just really confused at the moment since it had only been a month since him and his ex had broken up. This week, he repeated the same thing, and I haven't talked to him since Tuesday (about 4 days). He tried calling me last night, but I missed his phone call and when I returned his call, he didn't pick up. What is really going on with this guy? I really like him and don't know what to do.

[moimeme]

He told you what was going on with him. How do you know he didn't pick up last night? Maybe he went out just when you called and forgot to check for messages.

 

It sounds like you're counting on him to fill in the gap you're feeling and that you're pushing a bit. Try to relax and not worry when he doesn't call for a few days. Give him time to sort himself out.

[laRubiaBonita]

well, duh, it sounds like he likes you. But YOU keep shooting him down and rejecting HIM....so he will prob. give up calling you...if he already hasn't.

[FolderWife]

Just back off. He's confused about how he's feeling, so he's taking some space to calm down and figure it out. Don't push.

[d'Arthez]

It could be many things. Work pressures, to name but one, which have nothing to do with you or his feelings for you.

 

Depending on the person, being cheated on can have a very big impact on a person, and the same holds true for ending of a relationship. It is not simply a decision of "yes or no", but a long path. The decision to break up with her is but a small step in the whole process.

Issues he might still be dealing with. As you have broken things off twice with your ex, you may be well aware of what he is experiencing right now. He needs a bit of time for that.

 

It seems, that you are depending on him to fill a gap in your life. And that is not entirely healthy either.

 

If you want to pursue things with him, you must step up your effort, and make your interest and intentions clear soon. I know that is a bit contradictory, but that is what the situation is.

[Sad Gurl]

Thanks for all of your replies. I have let him know that I like the person that he is entirely numerous times. I try to be there all the time for him, and in fact, I am. I really don't understand what it is that I am doing wrong. I may seem that I am being pushy, but I am really not. I don't let him see that. Some of you told me that I am trying to fill a gap, what exactly do you mean by that?