What To Say

[lovely81]

I think this may be the first time I've posted on this forum looking for advice; I'm usually giving it or just following the stories.

 

From May to beginning of June, I was dating a guy that I really liked.We were spending weekends together, texting everyday. When I met him he was dating someone else; he told me had cut things off with her, but she still followed and liked everything he did on social media, and I saw her text him twice while we were hanging out.

 

Toward the end of June I felt like the situation changed, and that he wasn't pursuing me the way he used to. This came to a head on July 4, when he told me about his plans, but didn't invite me along. I felt awful and ended things. I talked to him about how I felt about the other girl (that he must be encouraging her) and how I felt other people would be more committed to me by now. He said what we were doing was "casual dating" and still getting to know one another. He didn't think he had pulled back at all and asked me what he could do differently--I didn't know what to tell him; I didn't feel he should be asking me.

 

I never went back on my ending things officially, though I hinted I regretted it. We texted a couple of times after phone conversations about this (initiated by both of us) and then he stopped texting. I stopped texting when he stopped texting.

 

Since then, I've gone out on other dates, which was my plan, to free myself up to meet other people, and they've been fine/good. I think it's good I'm getting back out there, since I couldn't really sustain dating multiple people at the same time, and I didn't know if he was going to come through.

 

My heart and head are split--I don't want someone who feels wishy-washy about me, but I really liked him. I was feeling strong with NC, but I guess I'm wondering if I should try for a second chance. If so, any ideas how I would do it? I guess I was wondering if I should do a casual text, or should I be more open?

 

I feel like chances of this working out are not that great, but, on the other hand, I don't want this gnawing at me, that I didn't give it the best shot I could. I'm a proud person, but in matters of the heart, I'm beginning to wonder if it'd be better to lose some of that pride . . . even if it doesn't work out, it might be worth it just to get the assurance I'm doing the right thing. Sometimes I think with romance I try to avoid rejection way too much and end up being left with too many questions.