is he lying?

[cat]

I know this is none of my business but when my boyfriend and i started dating i asked him if he ever had sex and he said he was not gonna answered because it was too soon to discussed it. Well, then ia asked why not and so he said that the farthest he had gotten was being naked. We are now getting intimate touching and he has gotten naked with me. he even said that this is the first time he's doing this because he's never been close to anyone until now. I don't really care about his sexual experience or details but since we are getting intimate i would like to know which one is the truth. if he really got naked with a woman before or until now? so why did he lie? Also, i would like to know how to addressed the subject without making him feel uncomfortable. Thanks!

[Miss Mojo]

hi cat,

 

you may not believe me, but really, it is not important to know which one is the truth. that is totally irrelevant to where you are at now. the only thing you want to know is if he is disease free. who, when, how many times, how many people - it's totally irrelevant because he is with you now, but as you said, sexual experience is not important.

 

he may have said he managed to get naked once because he did. or he may have said it because he was embarrassed and wanted to give the impression he's had a little experience...it really doesn't matter either way.

 

there really is no way to address the subject without making him uncomfortable. when you're new to sex, you're usually a bit awkward about how far have you gone before.

 

just enjoy each other, be careful and have fun together!

 

 

I know this is none of my business but when my boyfriend and i started dating i asked him if he ever had sex and he said he was not gonna answered because it was too soon to discussed it. Well, then ia asked why not and so he said that the farthest he had gotten was being naked. We are now getting intimate touching and he has gotten naked with me. he even said that this is the first time he's doing this because he's never been close to anyone until now. I don't really care about his sexual experience or details but since we are getting intimate i would like to know which one is the truth. if he really got naked with a woman before or until now? so why did he lie? Also, i would like to know how to addressed the subject without making him feel uncomfortable. Thanks!

[Tony T]

The subject doesn't need to be addressed. Your life and your relationship will be no better or worse if you don't know these details.

 

As for his lying, you were terribly wrong in pressing him for details about his sex life so early in your relationship. He lied to you because he was very uncomfortable discussing this with you so early in the relationship. He didn't want you at that point to know just how experienced or inexperienced he was. It was highly inappropriate for you to even try to satisfy your curiosity about such a personal matter at that juncture and you deserved whatever answer you got.

 

I can't imagine in my wildest imagination why it should be important to you whether or not he ever got naked with another girl. It is just totally irrelevant.

 

Why don't you use the energy you are using to ponder this matter and pour it into making your relationship more satisfying and rewarding. It drives me insane trying to figure out why everybody's so concerned about other's past sexual lives. Go read a novel or something. It just doesn't matter.

 

I am sure the first woman he got naked with was his mother...right after birth. Let that satisfy you for now.