"I'm not much for writing about myself, so email me"

[LookAtThisPOst]

Saw a few profiles of people one recently, "I'm not one to talk or say much about myself, so if you're interested...send me an email an we'll talk then."

 

Though some here have thought that if someone puts less effort into a more descriptive profile is someone who is lazy to make the effort, could you see the logic in the above mentioned brief profile that I just mentioned?

[basil67]

Saw a few profiles of people one recently, "I'm not one to talk or say much about myself, so if you're interested...send me an email an we'll talk then."

 

Though some here have thought that if someone puts less effort into a more descriptive profile is someone who is lazy to make the effort, could you see the logic in the above mentioned brief profile that I just mentioned?

 

Nope, I cannot see the logic in making such a description.

 

Next

[MGX]

Scammers, perhaps?

[elaine567]

There may be lots of reasons, but I guess some people do not want to splash details of themselves all over a dating site.

[SwordofFlame]

My experience with these women are that they're probably not taking online dating seriously. Although it would be odd to see this on a paid site.

[normal person]

My experience with these women are that they're probably not taking online dating seriously. Although it would be odd to see this on a paid site.

 

I'm not so sure. I've been out with a good number of women who don't have much written about themselves. Tinder, Bumble, etc don't feature much description of the person, do they?

 

Basically, these people are usually just banking on their looks doing the talking for them (why else would you want to know about someone who hasn't written anything about themselves?). They take it as seriously as anyone else, but they look good enough (or at least think they do) that they don't have to write anything, because people will message them anyways, so why bother going through the trouble?

[SwordofFlame]

I'm not so sure. I've been out with a good number of women who don't have much written about themselves. Tinder, Bumble, etc don't feature much description of the person, do they?

 

Basically, these people are usually just banking on their looks doing the talking for them (why else would you want to know about someone who hasn't written anything about themselves?). They take it as seriously as anyone else, but they look good enough (or at least think they do) that they don't have to write anything, because people will message them anyways, so why bother going through the trouble?

 

That's definitely true for apps like Tinder or Bumble, but if someone does that on a site like okc where it's designed for you to have more than a few words, than that is really strange.

[normal person]

That's definitely true for apps like Tinder or Bumble, but if someone does that on a site like okc where it's designed for you to have more than a few words, than that is really strange.

 

I wouldn't call it strange, considering how often you see it these days. A lot of profiles of women in their 20s are a few sentences at most and some emojis. That's just how it's done these days. In my experience these women are always quick to open up if they want to talk to you. They'll message or "like" you and then you start getting the interesting info they'd put in the profile, or they reveal it when you're out. It's really not uncommon. Women are usually the gatekeepers. They'll be happy to surrender whatever info necessary to the right guy. I've been out with a few girls with profiles like this and they're just like everyone else, I just feel like it's becoming unfashionable for girls to write a biography in a profile.

[MissBee]

It makes no sense to me personally.

 

Your profile is an advertisement, it has your pictures and should say stuff about you that lets other people at least assess if you're worth messaging. That's the whole point of a profile.

 

You don't have to write a memoir, but a few sentences that give some insight into your personality would be nice. I'm not gonna look at a profile with nothing on it and then email the person to then ask them all about themselves. If you have stuff I can relate to on there I can at least message you and spark convo with those things in mind, if you have nothing, what is there to say? I personally ignored such people on dating sites.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I wouldn't call it strange, considering how often you see it these days. A lot of profiles of women in their 20s are a few sentences at most and some emojis. That's just how it's done these days. In my experience these women are always quick to open up if they want to talk to you. They'll message or "like" you and then you start getting the interesting info they'd put in the profile, or they reveal it when you're out. It's really not uncommon. Women are usually the gatekeepers. They'll be happy to surrender whatever info necessary to the right guy. I've been out with a few girls with profiles like this and they're just like everyone else, I just feel like it's becoming unfashionable for girls to write a biography in a profile.

 

It's more sad, than strange.

 

Well, it's a generational thing since you mention it's women in their 20's of where it's most common. To me it's a sign of complacency or laziness...a sign of things to come if you were to date said woman. It's a shallow, superficial society we live in unfortunately and with people in a rush to get laid...I guess that's where the Tinder app comes in.

 

 

But hey, that's millennials for you. lol

 

Then you have the "READ THE PROFILE!!" in all CAPS in their POF headline.

 

One even demanded you typed in a code word "green" at the end of her biography to show you that you read her profile.

 

I did just that, no response. lol

 

My experience with these women are that they're probably not taking online dating seriously.

 

Exactly!

Edited August 9, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[normal person]

It makes no sense to me personally.

 

Your profile is an advertisement, it has your pictures and should say stuff about you that lets other people at least assess if you're worth messaging. That's the whole point of a profile.

 

Yet men will still message and respond to them because often times men don't care what, if anything, is written in the profile and the picture is an advertisement enough. You could make an argument that men have done this to themselves and created this whole trend by putting too much emphasis on a women's looks and not her personality, so here we are where some women (seemingly) have just accepted it and aren't bothering with the profile.

 

It's like a print ad for a Mercedes. It might just be a sentence or even just a picture. Words are not necessary for people to know it's a nice car. If they're intrigued and want a nice car, they'll find out more about on there own, or they'll message the woman, or go for a test drive. It's an invitation, not a deterrent.

 

You don't have to write a memoir, but a few sentences that give some insight into your personality would be nice. I'm not gonna look at a profile with nothing on it and then email the person to then ask them all about themselves.

 

Neither would I, but many people do. And if the mere fact that they do and continue to do so is likely why this trend hasn't fallen out of favor.

 

If you have stuff I can relate to on there I can at least message you and spark convo with those things in mind, if you have nothing, what is there to say? I personally ignored such people on dating sites.

 

Lots of young men don't prioritize "relating" to someone as much as they do looks, and by not holding them to a standard where they have to, a lot of women are giving them the message that that's ok.

 

One even demanded you typed in a code word "green" at the end of her biography to show you that you read her profile.

 

I did just that, no response. lol

 

Reading the profile was a prerequisite to taking the test, not the test itself. She didn't say "type the code word and I'll go out with you," she just did it to know that you read her profile. She still has to read yours and like you.

Edited August 9, 2016 by normal person

[LookAtThisPOst]

Reading the profile was a prerequisite to taking the test, not the test itself. She didn't say "type the code word and I'll go out with you," she just did it to know that you read her profile. She still has to read yours and like you

 

 

Yeah...*shrug*...the nerve of her not acknowledging my code word. But you know, the first thing when I read profiles like that when they put crap like that in their profile...I'm thinking, "Why should I even bother if she isn't going to respond anyway?" lol

 

I think I recall a woman who posted a photo of herself. Apparently, it was a scene shot on a hit TV show. It was so obscure...that you really couldn't make out the lettering on the building...but I recognized the FONT more so than what it spelled out. I had to squint to see what it read. I knew I had seen it on the show..but wanted to confirm it by Googling the letters I was guessing.

 

I what city and state it wtas shot., of course I told her this...no response. You'd figured it'd impress her enough to at least respond. lol

 

This is why I put less effort in my emails to them these days.

 

Lots of young men don't prioritize "relating" to someone as much as they do looks, and by not holding them to a standard where they have to, a lot of women are giving them the message that that's ok.

 

So it's more of putting the cart before the horse or "Ready, aim, Fire!" situation. "Okay, she's cute...I'll contact her, if she responds...we'll arrange a meet and find out ALL about her on our lunch date or meet.

 

I may add though, perhaps there is a benefit to Tinder to alleviate those Cat fishers or time vampires. I recall with women who DID respond that wanted to "get to know me BEFORE getting to know me."

 

"I don't like to give out my # just yet, let's chat a while and go from there." and a couple of weeks pass, and she STILL isn't "ready."

Edited August 9, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

Read this article in the New York Times about how Tinder isn't entirely shallow...although it's gotten a bad rap for non-relationship minded men who want to get a**. Bed notches, "Tinderellas" as they now call them.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/27/style/tinder-dating-relationships.html?_r=0

 

A link in THAT article leads to an article that mentions that Tinder is the online dating apocalypse... Tinder and Hookup-Culture Promotion | Vanity Fair.

[MissBee]

Yet men will still message and respond to them because often times men don't care what, if anything, is written in the profile and the picture is an advertisement enough. You could make an argument that men have done this to themselves and created this whole trend by putting too much emphasis on a women's looks and not her personality, so here we are where some women (seemingly) have just accepted it and aren't bothering with the profile.

 

It's like a print ad for a Mercedes. It might just be a sentence or even just a picture. Words are not necessary for people to know it's a nice car. If they're intrigued and want a nice car, they'll find out more about on there own, or they'll message the woman, or go for a test drive. It's an invitation, not a deterrent.

 

 

 

Neither would I, but many people do. And if the mere fact that they do and continue to do so is likely why this trend hasn't fallen out of favor.

 

.

 

As I always say re online dating and dating in general: the point is to find folks compatible with you and not necessarily to appeal to a wide swath of people just because.

 

That said, I know what I respond to and appreciate and go into OLD also having some expectations in terms of men I hope to attract. Men who don't read profiles aren't usually the men I want to attract and they are also dead obvious when they send messages. The men I usually ended up going out with and certainly those who became serious candidates and eventual bfs, were men who had some substance and sought the same and actually read profiles and cared about things other than just looks.

 

Those who don't care exist and I can't stop them from existing, but the good thing is that people filter out and select for who they want.

[Erik30]

I've seen worse. Sometimes I run into profiles (mostly on Tinder) of women who don't even have photos of themselves, just random pictures of things they like and some inspirational quotes they probably found googling.

 

The only thing most of them wrote was something like; "I'll send you pictures of me if we're a match."

[JustGettingBy]

Its probably so they can weed someone out without stating preferences on their profile.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I've seen worse. Sometimes I run into profiles (mostly on Tinder) of women who don't even have photos of themselves, just random pictures of things they like and some inspirational quotes they probably found googling.

 

The only thing most of them wrote was something like; "I'll send you pictures of me if we're a match."

 

Which means, You're not worthy of knowing what I Looks like until I see what you look like

[SwordofFlame]

I've seen worse. Sometimes I run into profiles (mostly on Tinder) of women who don't even have photos of themselves, just random pictures of things they like and some inspirational quotes they probably found googling.

 

The only thing most of them wrote was something like; "I'll send you pictures of me if we're a match."

 

Wait are there men out there that actually send messages to women with these profiles?

[MGX]

Which means, You're not worthy of knowing what I Looks like until I see what you look like

 

Sometimes a female with no photo won't send you pictures when you ask, even if they do like you and contacted you first. Back when I was dating, that happened to me a few times.

[MGX]

It makes no sense to me personally.

 

Your profile is an advertisement, it has your pictures and should say stuff about you that lets other people at least assess if you're worth messaging. That's the whole point of a profile.

 

You don't have to write a memoir, but a few sentences that give some insight into your personality would be nice. I'm not gonna look at a profile with nothing on it and then email the person to then ask them all about themselves. If you have stuff I can relate to on there I can at least message you and spark convo with those things in mind, if you have nothing, what is there to say? I personally ignored such people on dating sites.

 

I would add to this.

 

By not filling out a profile or even the statistical part of the profile, the information wouldn't show up on the OLD search engines for the site and these women would be invisible unless you did a wide search with no criteria.

[MissBee]

I would add to this.

 

By not filling out a profile or even the statistical part of the profile, the information wouldn't show up on the OLD search engines for the site and these women would be invisible unless you did a wide search with no criteria.

 

I think with most sites at minimum you have to fill out your stats or it won't create a profile for you.

 

What's just as annoying are the people on the sites where they prevent you from creating a profile without filling in the additional stuff, so folks simply type nonsense like "bvskhgfskvl" in all the slots. IMMEDIATE IGNORE for me. If I see profiles like that that come up in my search or I receive messages from men with that as their profile I just assume you're completely unintelligent at worst and lazy as hell at best or just hurrying to get online to hook up so couldn't even craft one sentence. Not my speed.

[Erik30]

Wait are there men out there that actually send messages to women with these profiles?

 

I guess, I can't imagine doing it myself though. Maybe some guys think (hope) the girl is actually really pretty, and she's trying to find someone who cares about more than just her looks. I've run into so many of those profiles, it has to be working.... but I don't know what happens when guys finally get to see her

[Philosopher]

I have been doing online dating for a while and I have found these sort of profiles have become increasingly common. A few years ago the majority of profiles were quite detailed, however now it seems most profiles are only a couple of sentences long, even on the paid sites. Often they have not written anything about themselves at all.

 

I suspect Tinder is a big reason for this. Those whom have migrated from Tinder to other dating sites are probably use to relying on messaging to find out about someone and therefore see little point in writing much about themselves.

[normal person]

I have been doing online dating for a while and I have found these sort of profiles have become increasingly common. A few years ago the majority of profiles were quite detailed, however now it seems most profiles are only a couple of sentences long, even on the paid sites. Often they have not written anything about themselves at all.

 

I suspect Tinder is a big reason for this. Those whom have migrated from Tinder to other dating sites are probably use to relying on messaging to find out about someone and therefore see little point in writing much about themselves.

 

Exactly. Technology is helping the process evolve. At the end of the day, if you're not physically attracted to someone, then in most peoples' minds, there's little reason to find out more. We know in some cases, people can become attracted to each other if they aren't at first, but technology isn't advanced to accommodate that sort of thing yet. These days, you bait someone with the pictures. Then, if they like yours, then you get some more info, or you just meet up and see if it feels right. In a way, it's a lot more natural than trying to forcefully connect yourself with someone because of some arbitrary similar interest or something like that. Lots of people will have the same interests as you, but that's not the basis of attraction -- literal attraction is.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I'm starting to think I know why Tinder has gotten big, because I am noticing more and more profiles have descriptions that just say, "Just ask" and nothing else of substance telling them about themselves.

 

Ever notice that?