FolderWife Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Ever since we got married, my husband would write the checks to pay the bills, and then I would mail them the next day. Well, recently he yelled at me for spending $30 when we didn't have an extra $30 to spend (or so he thought) and we had a fight over it. Later, after the fight, he yelled at me, and said, "You can pay the bills from now on!!! From now on , you can worry about where the money is going to come from!!!" Ok, woopty doo! I started writing the checks when we had the money. If he saw me writing the checks, he'd stand over me and nag me about it...he'd always try to make me feel stupid. He'd end up getting on my nerves because he would insinuate that I was too dumb to write a check, so I'd end up getting in an argument with him. The other day, he started running his mouth, for no apparent reason, that I was too irresponsible to pay the bills. He said that I would probably forget to mail them or something. He didn't stop letting me write the checks though, he just thought that I was too stupid to pay the bills on time. Ok, I've been mailing out the bills since we got married over two years ago. I just recently started actually writing out the checks, but I've been mailing them for over two years. Two weeks ago, I had some bills to mail out, but I ended up having to give someone a ride, so I picked the envelopes up and put them in the visor over the passenger seat so they could sit down. Of course, I forgot all about them. I could have sworn that I mailed them that evening, but I must've mailed something else besides the bills. Yesterday, my husband went to get something out of my car, and pulled down the visor and found the envelopes. One of the bills is past due now. So he gets understandably angry, and says, "It's not your job any more!" If he thought ALL ALONG that I was too irresponsible to handle paying the bills, why did he dump it in my lap in the first place??? I didn't want to have to go to the post office after work to mail off the bills. I didn't want to sit down and write out those checks. He dubbed it my duty, and then didn't trust me to do it! I don't want to do it! I didn't want to do it! He gave me a job, then treated me like I was too stupid to do it, and then when I finally, after TWO YEARS of mailing them on time trip up, he acted like, "Oh, I knew all along that you were too stupid to do this right! Didn't I tell you that you were too stupid to do this right!? I knew you'd mess up!" Ok...like I said, if he had so little trust in me, WHY DID HE MAKE ME DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! If he just KNEW all along that I'd screw up, why did he have me do it? One mistake in two years, and he was right all along . I don't care if he wants to write the checks and mail them. It's one less thing that I have to worry about. If I make one mistake, and that warrants him having to do it, then I'll screw up more often. It's just the fact that he acted like I couldn't handle it all along, and then when I finally mess up, he's all, "I told you that you were too stupid to do it." What do you make of this!? What do you do about someone like this? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 And you love this moron because? Link to post Share on other sites
Cwazydude Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Wow, What a jerk. And he's calling YOU stupid? Hahaha, That's funny. But, In all actuality, This is a lot more common then you think. Male's tend to think down upon female's, like they are too stupid to complete simple tasks. And then when they make one mistake they pretend like it's the biggest mistake ever. And then from that point on they always bring up that ONE time in a fight. Don't get me wrong, I'm a male myself, But I'm smart enough not to pull this kind of stupid stuff with my girlfriend. The only thing I could think of to get him back would be to start pointing out his flaws more often, It won't solve anything, you know, "Two wrongs don't make a right" But, There isn't exactly a way to make him shut up, So unless you dump him your going to have to live with it. It's part of his nature, He'll probably do it till the day he's 6ft under. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Male's tend to think down upon female's, like they are too stupid to complete simple tasks. And then when they make one mistake they pretend like it's the biggest mistake ever. And then from that point on they always bring up that ONE time in a fight. Yeah. So you don't marry them. Who needs that sort of jerk in their life? Link to post Share on other sites
Cwazydude Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Please, Don't look down upon ALL of my Sex. There are a few good one's out there. Jesus. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FolderWife Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 I knew I was right! I think what I'm going to do is wait until he writes a check for something, and then hide it in his visor Link to post Share on other sites
Cwazydude Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 That could work, But instead of him thinking he lost it he'll blame that on you too. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Sometimes wedges are created between people that have nothing to do with the issue at hand. You need to sit down and talk to him about it.. It might be something else that is going on. If he still wants to treat you like a child and abuse you like he has done in the past.. Give him back the job and see how he reacts Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Why don't you both make the process much easier and pay your bills online - through your bank's website...that way, you don't have to write out checks, wait for them to arrive where you're sending them, remember to mail them. I have been doing online banking for 10 yrs now and I absolutely love it. I don't have to worry about reconciling a bank book, I can always see what my balance is and if there's the odd check I have to write, I just make a note of that and check to see when it's been withdrawn from my acct, I can pay all of my bills in 5 minutes tops. Why don't you consider getting set up this way? It's all done through a secure server. When I pay a bill, I write down the "confirmation #" that it generates onto the bill so I have proof it's been paid...and if I'm ever late to pay a bill, I just call up the company and tell them, "hey, I just paid this online, here's my confirmation # to prove it" and they don't care if it's a couple days late. Of course this isn't going to solve the problem with you having a cruel dink for a husband Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Please, Don't look down upon ALL of my Sex. There are a few good one's out there Um. I'm not. I said 'that sort of jerk' meaning one who would treat her so badly, not one that's male. Link to post Share on other sites
Confissledone Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Have you considered Online Bill Pay which withdraws automatically from your bank account? its a lot better than actually wasting ink, time and checks...if not then you can simply manually pay the bills online once you have the funds in the account. Trust me saves time and stamps.... I know I sound like a freakin bank commercial but man is it convenient. Plus you and hubby can both have fun doing the bill payment online together! No more drama, no more arguing about stupid stuff more time for love! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme And you love this moron because? My thoughts exactly. Now . . . what don't you like about YOURSELF? What makes you see so little of yourSELF that you ALLOW him to treat you like that? He sounds like an anchor to me . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts