Mysterio Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 One of my best friends told me the other day that he is going to be a father again. He has been dating his GF for about 3.5 yrs now. They had a kid in August 2015. So all this time. G's GF F, is technically still married she has 2 kids with her ex. F separated from her husband in 2009. Other than Child support and Visitation. I can't figure out why her ex is not gung ho to get divorced. Even to look better to any future women he wants to date. Should F have used better judgement and not get pregnant with any kids at all until she gets divorced? At what point do you think something funny is going on if she can't get divorced? I think that she is playing him. Do you think if you date someone that at least by year 3 they should be divorced. When does it click in that not getting a divorced not wrapped up is not the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
SaveYourHeart Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I have a friend in a similar situation, she and her husband never got divorced, but are leading separate lives. She's engaged and has joint custody of her two boys. Unfortunately, they don't have the money to go through with the divorce right now. Divorces can be expensive, even when filing on your own and uncontested. Filing fees range from 209.50-350.00 where I'm at, and if you get an attorney it ranges from 1500-4500. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Ugh. I couldn't imagine still being married to my first husband (but separated for years) and having kids with some other guy. That's so tacky and classless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 One of my best friends told me the other day that he is going to be a father again. He has been dating his GF for about 3.5 yrs now. They had a kid in August 2015. So all this time. G's GF F, is technically still married she has 2 kids with her ex. F separated from her husband in 2009. Your friend has poor judgement and questionable taste in partners. Why put oneself in the middle of such a messy situation? Those who go looking for trouble often find it... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 some folks want to be taken advantage of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Since she's still married to her ex, she could threaten to put his name on the birth certificate as the presumptive father. (Of course, her bf may object.) He'd have to contest it. So, it may be to his advantage to get the divorce moving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 I think that getting a divorce should be independent of Child payments and Visitation. I can't understand what the problem could be. I have yet to see an older couple that had kids out of wedlock. Stay together through all sorts of weather and are around late 60/late 70's and are still together un married and raised a family like that. Not saying that marriage is the holy grail. Its just that life throws us curves and if your not solid. You will break. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Depending on what state she lives in, getting knocked up while still married to someone else could bode poorly if she goes through a contested divorce... Sorry, but anyone can come up with $2000 for a divorce. If not, they are not worth me dating, let alone getting her pregnant 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Joe I live in Canada. She must make at least 40 grand a year. Its crazy. perhaps my buddy G is going to have to help her out financially with this. Or be okay with telling his kids when they are of age that he and mom are not married because she can't get divorced from her first husband. Also. G has to come to reality that she is either incapable of getting divorced and live with this. I just see them breaking up in the future. All his other friends at the baby party were either married or single. No one is in his shoes. Its just that G does not have a love interest falling into this lap on a regular basis. G is introverted and very locked into his digital entertainment, so its not like he breaks up with her. He is going to be with another person. I guess I should not care, but I just find that I have to avoid the same situation. I went on a date in May of 2015 with a woman that had two kids and was separated. It never went anywhere and I really think its because she was separated going on year 2. Thats the risk you take when you get married. Why people just wait it out while the divorce is happening. I met that Separated woman on a date site. Its not like I asked her out on the fly. I personally think that everyone should think long and hard before they get married. G and F should even take a year after the divorce to get married. Not just jump into it. As it stands. They are both 40. So that is at least a good 25 yrs to raise and launch the 2 kids. So they will be mid to late 60's when the kids are out of the house. I still can't see why the ex wants to keep the status of being married to F. There is no advantage to him. I don't know why they broke up. I suspect that F's ex was not romantic with her and she fell out of love and they broke up. If F's ex wanted her back. He could have done so by now. Before she had baby #1 from G and now pregnant with Baby# 2. Not happening to me. I don't care how great the woman is. Link to post Share on other sites
Ontos Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 I have a friend in a similar situation, she and her husband never got divorced, but are leading separate lives. She's engaged and has joint custody of her two boys. Unfortunately, they don't have the money to go through with the divorce right now. Divorces can be expensive, even when filing on your own and uncontested. Filing fees range from 209.50-350.00 where I'm at, and if you get an attorney it ranges from 1500-4500. Cannot come up with $1,000? I call BS on that.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EMT girl Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Depending on what state she lives in, getting knocked up while still married to someone else could bode poorly if she goes through a contested divorce... Sorry, but anyone can come up with $2000 for a divorce. If not, they are not worth me dating, let alone getting her pregnant I don't know where you live, but divorces cost much more than that. 2k is not even a retainer in most places. Add children and property to the mix and you're looking at 25-40k when alls said and done. Add child custody problems, and you can be looking at double that. Divorce also takes longer if one side contests, and you could be looking at a few years. I'm in the middle of an awful divorce from an emotionally abusive man. The good thing about his stonewalling and bad temper is that the judge now hates him, so she's been awarding my extra fees to my almost ex to pay. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 When my mom filed for divorce from my stepfather she had to pay $5,000 just to retain a lawyer. We expected the divorce to be smooth sailing, but it wasn't finalized for 3 1/2 years. It took forever because her ex (my stepfather) changed lawyers multiple times because he wasn't getting the deal he wanted (aka he was forced to pay my mom child support for my brother & spousal support for mom at a higher amount than he wanted) Should your buddy have waited until his girl was totally divorced before knocking her up? Yeah probably, but the divorce taking forever may not be her fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 The dynamic of the relationship between my buddy G and F is this. I think she calls the shots. I never get the feeling that He has much say. He is just glad to be there. Yet I feel he has the power if he wanted it. She basically is like an ex where they broke up in their early 20's. Then she looked him up in late 2012. We went all out to a party in Feb 2013. According to him that night was magic and thats when they basically became a couple. It feel like she just punched on him. They have only begun living together in 2015. So its been a year and a bit. F who is G's GF. She seems to not want to tie up loose ends. According to him. She is still working on the divorce and they seperated in 2009. So this is year 7 and she is going to have baby #2 with G in the new year. I would be shocked to find out if G's Ex husband was the one who initiated the divorce. Once again. I can't see why G's Ex is stalling Its not like if he wanted her back, it would be easy. She now comes with 2 babies basically by the time 2017 hits. I don't think her house or Child support/custody is the issue as much. Once G's last big kid out of 2 reaches 18 in 2021. The Ex won't have any child payments for the most part, other than letting his kids come to his place and helping the kids out with University/College. I guess in the long run. Its not my life, but boy. I am sure glad I am not in that murky situtation. I don't know how G deals with it. I personally think that F and G should just sit down with the ex. Say they want to get married and work out something with F's ex. All the have to say is that the sitaution looks murky to the kids and sends a bad message to them. Other than Child visitation and payments. There is nothing for the ex to grip about. Unless he wants her back. Form 2013 to fall of 2014. If he was slick enough. He might have gotten her back. Yet now. She comes with a package of 2 kids come early 2017. What a Soap Opera. Link to post Share on other sites
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