Would you date an escort?

[PogoStick]

No, I'm not looking to date an escort, just some deep thinking To start, I had a great girlfriend who was an ex-stripper, but I didn't feel that mattered much because it was like 10+ years prior, and she actually did the cliche "pay her way through college". She ended up with a graduate degree and respectable career but the time I met her. The only issue for some would be her considerable sexual history, but I didn't care about her past as long as she was disease free now.

 

This got me thinking about some of the guys I've read about on here who are considering using a prostitute to gain sexual experience. To anyone willing to answer, how would you feel about:

 

1. Would you date an escort? I saw this good looking, clean, family man on the tv show Intervention who basically looked the other was as his girlfriend slept with guys to get drugs. Strange situation IMO.

 

2. Would you date a "retired" escort? What if she tested clean now? Would you be able to trust her in general?

 

3. Would you have sex with an escort for free (example: you met at a party or night at the bar and she wasn't after your money)?

 

Women can weigh in too, if they want.

[Ami1uwant]

Escorts aren't necessarily hookers do they don't necessarily sleep with the guys they date.

 

I wouldn't date someone who was currently doing that. I wouldn't hold it against them if it was something in their past,

[tomtheman1234]

Don't do it. I have done it it ended it tears. I was in a bad place I took her kindness the wrong way. I am in a good place now and hope I would not do that again.

Edited August 10, 2016 by tomtheman1234

[phineas]

I could not support an escorts lifestyle so probably not.

[heartfeltlove]

Don't do it. I have done it it ended it tears. I was in a bad place I took her kindness the wrong way. I am in a good place now and hope I would not do that again.

 

Specifically to you: When in a bad place, everything can go wrong, When in a good place everything can go right. Don't let the prejudices of a poor experience tarnish possible happiness.

 

Generally speaking to all: A person's past is no indication of their future. Who would have thought that an African terrorist with subversive ideals would after incarceration become an international hero and hold centre stage as his country's president?

Who would have thought an Indian Lawyer and insurgent would become a bye-word for Universal Peace and Love? If you permit a person's past to colour your perception of them, then you shut down endless possibilities.

[salparadise]

Escorts aren't necessarily hookers do they don't necessarily sleep with the guys they date.

 

 

Oh give me a break - you don't actually believe that do you? The word is nothing more than a euphemism for prostitute.

 

Hell, I don't even date women who expect to be wined and dined like a princess... I sure as hell ain't going to indulge any that have been exposed to a few thousand strange penises for $50 bucks a pop. Ewwwww!

[scooby-philly]

I'll weigh in on this one:

 

1. I've had a few encounters with escorts. Trust me, even with them the sex isn't mind blowing. So it's not like what you imagine.

 

2. There's a big difference between a real "escort" - i.e. 500+ more a night, a stripper working their way through college, a young woman trying to support herself and her kids with a little action on the side, and a [drug user].

 

3. I love salparadise's - comment - I agree - I'd as soon date a "current" escort than date someone looking to be wined and dined. That said

 

I think it's really a question of is it current affairs or ancient history? Seriously - we're the only country in the world practically - though some European countries are starting to get very conservative governments in place - that makes it such a crime and looks downs socially on women like that. I've known over a half doze girls who'll turn the occasional trick to help meet ends meet and I wouldn't call them [names] or anything like it. That said, I wouldn't date someone who currently does any sexual selling unless they quit immediately and also get tested.

Edited August 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[Lois_Griffin]

Yeah.....no.

 

I would have absolutely no desire to be the 3,478th notch in some prior gigolo's bedpost. I don't care HOW much of a choir boy he might be now. Ain't happening.

[Els]

Guys with high numbers turn me off, so... nope.

[salparadise]

 

3. I love salparadise's - comment - I agree - I'd as soon date a "current" escort than date someone looking to be wined and dined. That said

 

I think it's really a question of is it current affairs or ancient history? Seriously - we're the only country in the world practically - though some European countries are starting to get very conservative governments in place - that makes it such a crime and looks downs socially on women like that. I've known over a half doze girls who'll turn the occasional trick to help meet ends meet and I wouldn't call them [names]. That said, I wouldn't date someone who currently does any sexual selling unless they quit immediately and also get tested.

 

I'm not sure you read that correctly.

 

My point was, I have such disdain for transactional sex, regardless of whether it's cloaked as wining and dining, escort, sugga baby/daddy, or any other word, that I categorically reject anyone who has been in the sex trade... past or current doesn't make any difference.

 

Those people have different values, mentality, socialization etc. And I don't think anyone changes much on this stuff. They get no respect from me. Zero. I have pretty much the same opinion of their customers.

 

I do support a woman's right to own her sexuality and engage in whatever... unless she's selling kitty, in which case, zero. I could never respect someone who had done that.

Edited August 11, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edit quote

[jen1447]

No, I'm not looking to date an escort, just some deep thinking To start, I had a great girlfriend who was an ex-stripper, but I didn't feel that mattered much because it was like 10+ years prior, and she actually did the cliche "pay her way through college". She ended up with a graduate degree and respectable career but the time I met her. The only issue for some would be her considerable sexual history, but I didn't care about her past as long as she was disease free now.

 

I've dated strippers before. Not quite the same thing I know.

 

1. Would you date an escort? I saw this good looking, clean, family man on the tv show Intervention who basically looked the other was as his girlfriend slept with guys to get drugs. Strange situation IMO.

 

Depends ....possibly a very high end escort, but not the much more common real world $35 escort, no. Most of the 'escort' world really exists in the lower tiers and they're just glorified prostitutes.

 

2. Would you date a "retired" escort? What if she tested clean now? Would you be able to trust her in general?

 

Maybe, depends on who she is.

 

3. Would you have sex with an escort for free (example: you met at a party or night at the bar and she wasn't after your money)?

 

Probably not just a spur of the moment thing, no. That'd be too much of an STD risk group to really even consider.

[SevenCity]

I'm gonna have to go with a no. Stripper? Yes.

[SmartDude]

I would date an escort and in fact I have. Rather than talk from speculation, I can talk from experience. I have had sex with about 35-40 different sex workers in my lifetime. A handful of those kept me as a regular client, sometimes for years.

 

The escorts I have met (I am selective), Have been some of the best women I have ever known. They are usually very open sexually, but other than that, they are normal people like you and me.

 

There is a certain percentage of the population that views sex as being an exclusive act between two people, within the context of a monogamous relationship. That is fine, but let's stop pretending that such people hold the high moral ground in life. From observation we can see that this is not the case.

 

A woman who has worked as an escort is often going to have AMAZING skills in the bedroom and no bothersome inhibitions to work through. She already knows herself. I have experienced this first hand 

 

I have seen it go both ways and it just depends on the person. Some women I have seen actually become happier, more interesting individuals after working as an escort. Others do it for a week and they feel traumatized for years. Go figure? The bottom line is everyone needs to do what feels right for them as long as it does not harm others.

So yes I would totally date an escort. If she did it in a way were she still respected herself and had sensible boundaries and professionalism. I would not date an escort who was using the money to escape problems by indulging in high lifestyle, drug abuse, self abuse..etc.

[PogoStick]

I'll weigh in on this one:

 

1. I've had a few encounters with escorts. Trust me, even with them the sex isn't mind blowing. So it's not like what you imagine.

 

2. There's a big difference between a real "escort" - i.e. 500+ more a night, a stripper working their way through college, a young woman trying to support herself and her kids with a little action on the side, and a [drug user].

 

3. I love salparadise's - comment - I agree - I'd as soon date a "current" escort than date someone looking to be wined and dined. That said

 

I think it's really a question of is it current affairs or ancient history? Seriously - we're the only country in the world practically - though some European countries are starting to get very conservative governments in place - that makes it such a crime and looks downs socially on women like that. I've known over a half doze girls who'll turn the occasional trick to help meet ends meet and I wouldn't call them [names] or anything like it. That said, I wouldn't date someone who currently does any sexual selling unless they quit immediately and also get tested.

 

This, and Jen's mention of considering a high end escort spark an interesting question to me: Would my feelings towards dating an escort be different in a country where it's more normalized and regulated, like Berlin or Amsterdam? In the US, prostitution feels more dirty and desperate and that would color my perception if meeting a sex worker here. I wonder if I would feel different with the Euro window dressing, mandatory STD testing, and I assume stricter adherence to condom use?

 

By comparison, the higher end porn stars don't seem so taboo and risky, and dating one would be an easier sell to me.

[jen1447]

I've read that modern porn (the high end production stuff anyway) has really high standards for testing and certification safety, so most likely porn stars are actually among the safest bets for sex partners. (Considering many ppl w STDs are mainly risk factors for spread bc they don't know it.) Kinda funny.

[The_Onceler]

Ten years ago I would have said no. Absolutely not. This was not due to issues of morality. It had more to do with the way that I defined intimacy and love in my own world view.

 

Now, after learning that my partner was a much more wildly promiscuous and casual sexual operator than I had ever dreamed possible - now I am not so sure. Of course, the STD issue would be a concern, but beyond that? I might be OK to date a stripper/escort/prostitute. Of course, I might feel that way as a result of feeling like I will never again be emotionally attached to a "love" interest...

[Gloria25]

Sex is a very intimate act...trust me, I'm being reminded of that in my recent experience with dude.

 

So, if someone can turn off that switch and reduce an intimate act between two people into a "j....o...b", then I'd be freakin scared of them.

 

Like sal paradise said, it's the mentality of a person who would do anything for quick and easy cash that doesn't change overnight.

 

And, I don't care if now they're a "professional". Lots of educated, intelligent, and/or accomplished people do bad things for money..

 

Look at some doctors, 60 Minutes had a show where the HMO gave them quotas of like 20% hospitalization of patients and the doctors complied cuz they didn't care if patient needed it, it was all about billing.

 

Lawyers? Pfft...the things those bottom feeders will represent. The games they play in court, they don't care as long as they win.

 

CEOs? Business peeps? Ok, Donald Trump. 'Nuff said.

 

Politicians? 'Nuff said.

 

So yeah, unless a former escort, stripper, and/or prostitute gives up all the spoils they got from selling their body and dreams to some chump, move to a shack in Africa and dedicate the rest of their lives to swat flies off of the face of starving kids...I'm not impressed

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Completely depends on the person, and if they are still in the trade,

If they were high end, low end, or did it to get their "fix" for the day.

[NTV]

I don't think I would. Mostly because I can't imagine a situation where we would have that much in common.

 

I guess for me I don't really see a reason why I would want to it's not exactly the thing I'd actually seek out a new partner. Plus there's the whole never knowing when you going to run across someone who paid to have sex with them and wants to make a big deal out of it like they can demean you... it's not exactly a risk I want to take.

 

A one-night thing at a bar?

 

Can you define how drunk I am in this hypothetical scenario?

 

_________________________

 

To kind of speak to the monogamous people holding a higher moral ground... I think they really do hold a higher moral ground. Mostly because that's the type of relationship that can be explained to a child without potential repercussions later in life. Then I guess it also depends on the social structure. Hmmm. I'll think on that some more. Either way I feel like your comment to be baiting more than actual discussion.

[salparadise]

Also, you have to realize that these people didn't select sex worker as their occupation of choice because hours and benefits were better than traditional employment like nurse, waitress, bookkeeper, or clerk of the court. The choice is integral to their personality and self-concept. I couldn't find any credible research via a quick google search, but I'd betcha a public tantrum that the incidence of severe personality disorders in sex workers is off the charts. If anyone has a study please post a link.

 

I just don't understand that the appeal would be. I like to have a bit of intellectual intercourse with a woman before we get down to biznuss

[dichotomy]

I have no judgement for escorts or those that use them. Assuming escort is a free agent. If it works for client and escort - good for them.

 

RobertZ who dates/sees/makes use of escorts seems very happy - good for him too.

 

However for me sex and love (or affection or commitments) are kind of intertwined. Casual sex, when I have had it, not my favorite. Make it a business only deal and no way. I need to be exclusively desired and cared about. Probably sounds usual these days for a guy to say this.

[Gloria25]

Also, you have to realize that these people didn't select sex worker as their occupation of choice because hours and benefits were better than traditional employment like nurse, waitress, bookkeeper, or clerk of the court. The choice is integral to their personality and self-concept. I couldn't find any credible research via a quick google search, but I'd betcha a public tantrum that the incidence of severe personality disorders in sex workers is off the charts. If anyone has a study please post a link.

 

I just don't understand that the appeal would be. I like to have a bit of intellectual intercourse with a woman before we get down to biznuss

 

I think it was "Woman" that I was watching like a month or so ago and of course the topic was violence against women. And, this young lady was talking about how going into the sex trade was a way for most women to make any money and of the guys who always are raping women.

 

Well, she literally lives in a van and washes cars for a living. She even dresses like a dude to turn the guys away. So, point is, she could've gone with the flow and exchange sex for stuff and money or wash cars and live in a van...she opted to live a harder life and wash cars.

[todreaminblue]

When i date someone seriously i disclose my past......i dont give numbers because i cant.....and i have had serious committed relationships on my behalf anyway..... since my escorting days....i do understand the stigma....the red flag of it all....and i woudltn want a guy i was dating to find out by anyone but me....it also gives him a chance to walk away before intimacy occurs....

 

i have pretty much turned my life around since escorting.....and it wasnt easy to get out and it was a decision to escort i wish i hadnt had to make..

 

i dont think anyone should lay all escorts to not be able to change or stop what they do ...or be deceitful junkies or disease carriers......i was tested on a weekly basis while working......most good escorts keep their sexual health in check and house rules are normally compulsory regular..... std checks ....

 

it seems like a different life to me now...so different..so...not me......like a bad dream

 

im not surprised by the responses in this thread..a bit disheartening though....deb

[Gloria25]

When i date someone seriously i disclose my past......i dont give numbers because i cant.....and i have had serious committed relationships on my behalf anyway..... since my escorting days....i do understand the stigma....the red flag of it all....and i woudltn want a guy i was dating to find out by anyone but me....it also gives him a chance to walk away before intimacy occurs....

 

i have pretty much turned my life around since escorting.....and it wasnt easy to get out and it was a decision to escort i wish i hadnt had to make..

 

i dont think anyone should lay all escorts to not be able to change or stop what they do ...or be deceitful junkies or disease carriers......i was tested on a weekly basis while working......most good escorts keep their sexual health in check and house rules are normally compulsory regular..... std checks ....

 

it seems like a different life to me now...so different..so...not me......like a bad dream

 

im not surprised by the responses in this thread..a bit disheartening though....deb

 

Deb, I love you like a sister, I do.

 

Please note that when I post, I have no intention of hurting anyone. And yes, I know not everyone has the same situation/circumstances.

 

I know of some people who were pimped out as children and grown up past that point in their lives and are wonderful people.

 

In my country, having sex here and there with your boss, Gringos, etc...was sorta the "norm"....I almost considered that to get out of my country, but chose the military. I, like my Mum, also cleaned houses, tutored.

 

But, I've seen the flip side - especially of women from my country. Maybe I'm a tinge of jealous of their skills to get guys...but more disgusted and it left a bad taste in my mouth. When I got dumped for the town H, it just left me with a lasting disgust for women who use sex to manipulate and get bills paid...and, the guys who fall for their sob/sappy stories.

[Taramere]

RobertZ who dates/sees/makes use of escorts seems very happy - good for him too.

 

Those epically long threads waxing lyrical about the delirious joy of life and love with a paid escort were quite terrifying at times. I'm not sure I'd see them as a recommendation for the lifestyle.

Edited August 10, 2016 by Taramere