katchalive Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) i have never posted on here before so here goes...i am married and 49yo. i have grown a little close to a 21yo woman in my office. she like alot of the same things i do and we clicked immediately. she was living with a dude for 2 years and finally broke it off with him and moved back home to her moms (4 blocks from my house!!!!)she mentioned to me that her b/f and her were not having sex so i took it to be that maybe she was implying her and i should have sex. we have not but that is not the issue now. she is single and going out and having a good time like any 21yo should. i find it a little difficult to talk sometimes as i am sure its because of the huge age difference between. we went out at lunch yesterday and bought her some sexy shoes to wear to the office. we have kissed a couple of times once after work. i know long term this will never work but she insists she wants to have 'fun' and she wants to wear lingerie for me and supposedly have sex. am i crazy for thinking we could become a cozy little couple for our lunch hour. she tells me i cannot screw anything up with what i say or do with. how can i make her tell me something that she is in this too? i think i am into her just a little more than she is to me but i could be wrong as she is kind of quiet and doesn't talk too much about emotion. i really dont know what i am looking for answer wise. but i know this. i dig her, we have fun together and i so wanna put the blast on her but still trying to figure out how when and where. i feel like the window is closing as when she finds another b/f she will move on. how can inget closer to her without freaking her out? she says what you didn't send me a sexy text? she told me her bra size out of the blue and asked me yesterday what it was to see if i remembered (which indid of course). she said she wants wife to go out of town so she can wear the lingerie we will buy together. she says these types of things which drive me nuts. i so want to gove it to her but i kind of like her too so i am trying to be a gentleman to a certain degree. i know i am married and should not be doing this, so pls refrain from razzing me about that. what can i say to find out if she means what she says to me? should i pursue her anymore. i love sneaking around with here and she makes me feel young and full of energy again. what should i do? thanks Edited August 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 No, you shoould not pursue her anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SnowBaby Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 First of all, if she was interested, then she would do what any person who desires to be with another person would do, they would seduce you and couldn't keep their hands off of you. By asking you to buy her things, is not seduction. It is insinuating that sexual acts come with a price. Why ask you to get your wife to go away. Why not a hotel or better yet her place. It sounds to me like she is puting it off. I am going to advise you that if you do seriously want to go through with this, that you separate and divorce your wife beforehand. You will lose a lot of money, but trust be when I tell you that you will lose much more if you cheat on her first. She will be beyond bitter and angry, not only wanting to destroy you, but the young lady as well. If you actually care at least a little bit about a 21 year old girl you won't do this with her. She really is not old enough to see that she will become the target of of very angry wife, and possibly any any children you may have with your wife. You are old enough to know better, and if you want to take that risk of literally losing it all for sex, then more power to you. But know that either way you may have an angry wife, a tattletale mistress, and no one who will respect you. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 If you are expecting anyone on here to encourage you to sleep with this 21 year old girl, I hate to disappoint you-nobody will. Most folks who come on here, come on here asking for advice on how to get out of an affair not how to successfully get into one. You are a married man, you said didn’t want to hear it but I can best assure you that you need to. You are on here asking advice on the best way how to get into the pants of your 21 year old female co-worker. Also, how fast to make a move on her before she finds and another boyfriend and loses interest in you. If you had a daughter and some 49 year old married guy was on a website asking for advice how to proceed with pursing and bedding her I can bet my life that you would rip his (bleeping) head off. This 21 year old girl is less than half your age, why are you trying to steal her youth? You’ve enjoyed your youth, leave her alone and allow her to experience love and sex with males her own age. You need to start respecting yourself and to add more drama this you work with this girl. Believe me when I tell you that your co-workers are laughing and whispering at how this older man is embarrassing himself because of a 21 year old girl. Stop causing shame to your wife and children; they deserve better than this. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 It really sounds like you know you're being played being used.... is that really what you want? Or do you just want excitement? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 You both need to grow up. Her at the normal pace, you more quickly, as the need of it is urgent. Take care. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 There's no fool like an old fool. She is using you. For gifts, for attention and a for a lovely big boost to her 21 year old ego. Your colleagues will find out, and then your wife will find out and this whole thing will blow up in your face. And she'll walk away scot-free. Leaving you to face the music, both at work and at home. The smart thing to do is to further avoid your little golddigger like the plague, but something tells me this advice will fall on deaf ears. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 As Loveisanaction says, if you're looking for encouragement and tips on how to cheat, you've come to the wrong place. But perhaps after your wife and kids discover your affair, you can send them to Loveshack for comfort and tips on how to cope with divorce. Most of the people here come because they're hurting, and in the OW/OM and infidelity sections, they're hurting because they're on one side or another of an affair. Take some time to read those stories and see if a tumble in the sack with a little girl is worth it. If, after you see all the pain and devastation that affairs cause on ALL sides, you still want advice on how to bed someone whose daddy is probably younger than you, try Craigslist. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
samantha_t85 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Wow, good thing you included "married" in the thread title, otherwise we'd never know. No mention of your wife, her feelings, or how your actions might affect her. I feel terrible for your wife. Quit being a coward. If you want to mess around with other women, come clean and leave your wife so that she isn't unknowingly living a lie. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
heartfeltlove Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 It's difficult to fathom whether you are being genuine, because honestly? Anyone your age would automatically know several things: One, you're infatuated with a girl barely out of her teens and just a short while into being legal; Two, you work with her so anything you do, attempt to do, or think of doing will have serious repercussions within the workplace because any damn fool can tell you MUST have been there longer than she has, and she could lose her job, self-respect, dignity, credibility and income, and all you'd have is a reputation as a dirty old man. Which surprisingly, people seem more readily to forgive, in comparison to the ostracism she would engender. Three. You are married. Oh, and you are married, you're married and you are married. You have a wife. A partner. A spouse. You are legally bound to another to whom, as I recall, you made a promise of faithfulness, so you're married. I felt that bit needed a little emphasis, seeing as you are married. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) Wow, you don't respect your wife at all. Neither does this co-worker of yours. Neither do either of you respect each other, truly. Tell your wife about all of this and allow her to decide whether she wants to be living in a lie of a marriage with a cheater. Or divorce her so you can finally have your cake and eat it and go live with the 21 year old co-worker and her parents, while your wife who you claimed a lifelong commitment to, and kids if you have any, live with the excruciating reality that their husband and father couldn't care less about them. I'm in total disbelief how you cannot cringe at your own words--the complete lack of consideration and disrespect you have for your wife. Unbelievable. Edited August 10, 2016 by sooshi 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Have you cheated on your wife before or is this a major (late) midlife crisis? By the way, 21 year olds tell their friends the things they get up to. Who is she friends with at work? Have you noticed them sniggering when you walk by? Do you have children? How old are they? Do they already loath you? Oh I can't even talk about your wife. This would be embarrassing & so bloody funny if it wasn't so tragic! There's at least one grieving, deeply betrayed & broken wife on this forum who's living the nightmare that her looser husband is inflicting on her with a 21 year old girl....he's lost everything & is living in his truck at the moment. His son cries himself to sleep every night & his daughter won't have anything to do with him. My advise - Grow-up & get a heart + soul. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cloudcuckoo Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 i have never posted on here before so here goes...i am married and 49yo. i have grown a little close to a 21yo woman in my office. she like alot of the same things i do and we clicked immediately. she was living with a dude for 2 years and finally broke it off with him and moved back home to her moms (4 blocks from my house!!!!)she mentioned to me that her b/f and her were not having sex so i took it to be that maybe she was implying her and i should have sex. we have not but that is not the issue now. she is single and going out and having a good time like any 21yo should. i find it a little difficult to talk sometimes as i am sure its because of the huge age difference between. we went out at lunch yesterday and bought her some sexy shoes to wear to the office. we have kissed a couple of times once after work. i know long term this will never work but she insists she wants to have 'fun' and she wants to wear lingerie for me and supposedly have sex. am i crazy for thinking we could become a cozy little couple for our lunch hour. she tells me i cannot screw anything up with what i say or do with. how can i make her tell me something that she is in this too? i think i am into her just a little more than she is to me but i could be wrong as she is kind of quiet and doesn't talk too much about emotion. i really dont know what i am looking for answer wise. but i know this. i dig her, we have fun together and i so wanna put the blast on her but still trying to figure out how when and where. i feel like the window is closing as when she finds another b/f she will move on. how can inget closer to her without freaking her out? she says what you didn't send me a sexy text? she told me her bra size out of the blue and asked me yesterday what it was to see if i remembered (which indid of course). she said she wants wife to go out of town so she can wear the lingerie we will buy together. she says these types of things which drive me nuts. i so want to gove it to her but i kind of like her too so i am trying to be a gentleman to a certain degree. i know i am married and should not be doing this, so pls refrain from razzing me about that. what can i say to find out if she means what she says to me? should i pursue her anymore. i love sneaking around with here and she makes me feel young and full of energy again. what should i do? thanks She's 21 years old for goodness sake, and you're near 50! She thinks you're loaded and she wants you to spend your money on her and in return you might get your legover. What should you do?...stop behaving like a dirty old man and grow up might be a popular suggestion. I think you should consider finding a relaxing hobby to distract your attention. I have heard fishing is quite therapeutic for many men if you're in a place to accommodate something like that? Much safer than playing with fire, don't you think? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 At best, you will be her sugar daddy. My guess is that she would keep teasing with you sex and then swindle you into buying her more stuff. You would have to spend a significant amount of money before you actually got any sex, if you ever got to that point. She'd probably just move on once she realized the well was dry. But yeah, you should NOT cheat on your wife. If you're that unhappy in the marriage, end it and then chase after 21 year old sugar babies. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 We'll close this up until the threadstarter returns. Thanks, ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
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