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friendship or distance for potential relationship?


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I met a guy a little while ago and on the first couple of meetings we instantly clicked, we were getting a long really well and were really connecting. Nothing romantically happened, but there was definately a rare spark that I almost never feel. Then on subsequent meetings he began to distance himself and his behaviour really changed, leaving me a little confused. I didn't know if he was not interested in becoming even friends, which seemed so weird after we had been getting along so well. However, after going out with some other friends one night it came out that he has a long distance girlfriend. After talking to a couple of friends we were discussing whether after meeting a potential person while you are already in a relationship, you would you distance yourself from that person so that if potentially later you were available you could still pursue something? I don't know if that maybe explains the later behaviour?

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I would say he might like you but his other g/f is on his mind and he is unsure where he wants to go with your relationship. The distancing might be his way of not getting to involved. I would just watch his cues and react to him in the same vane. Don't try to get to close if he seems distant. The cat and mouse game will either play out and he will want to spend more time with you or his heart is with another.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Well after not seeing him for about three weeks, I finally ran into him after a lecture at university. He was with a really good friend of his, and I started chatting with her and discovered that we were doing the same subjects. They were going out with friends, and we parted with me saying that we should meet up some time and him saying "yeah I will call you".

Anyway just the other day I messaged him asking if he wanted to meet up, and he at first said that he was busy buying books and fillinh in forms etc, and then said that if it was ok with me could we meet up next week since he didn't have uni for the next few days. Do you think I should take this as a way of saying that we are definately just friends and that he doesn't have any deeper feelings for me, or is there any chance that there is more? If a girl asked you to meet up and you were interested in her, would you more than likely make arrangements to meet up outside of the uni environment, and not say no just because you were not at uni?

I guess I am also trying to sort out if there is even a friendship there, or if it is just me trying to make a connection? Crushes are a funny thing, everything can be telling you that it is not going to go anywhere, but yet you still hold on and hope that there is the potential for something more.

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well he seems to be confused or afraid, so in the next few dates try to hide your crush dont show him your interested in a relation or something, just act normaly, and be sweet, funny and gentle, then tell that you two should repeat this and tell him to call you when hes not busy.

then give him sometime to think dont call him or to do any contact with him, and when you see him dont ask him to out or any thing just normal talk, if he call you back or asks you out, then defenetly he likes you or at least be friends with you, if nothing happens i think he doesnt want, so forget him and remember you've all what can be done its not you're fault....................................................gooood luck ;)

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Well it has been over a week since he said "I will message you about meeting up next week" and in a following text message "I'm still running around, if it is alright with you can we meet up next week?"I saw him on Monday, but he didn't mention meeting up at all, but was very friendly and joking with me. We walked to the bus stop and said a friendly goodbye. Then on Wednesday I was walking in a crowd of people to a lecture and he quickly walked by, smiled, waved and said hi. I made sure that I didn't call him and just acted normally on monday. He was going to contact me before wednesday, but it is friday now, so I think my questions have been answered. If he was interested surely he would have initiated contact and called me this week. I keep on hoping that something will change or happen, but I told myself that if he didn't call this week I would hear the message. So I guess I really need to let him go and forget about him. But that is turning out to be harder than I thought!

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