Hello - Serial BS/BSO here.

[GoldenR]

Hi all -

 

Been lurking for about a month reading, reading, reading. I find this place after forcing myself to deal with some emotional baggage that I've kept repressed for many years. Reading all of these threads has been very therapeutic for me.

 

I guess my username says it all....I've been in 7 relationships in my life, and I've been cheated on in 6 of those 7 relationships. I guess I shouldn't complain bc of the cheating never happened, I never would've wound up with my very awesome and beautiful wife.

 

I'll give you the history:

 

First high school girlfriend --- at a party one night, her best friend got sloppy drunk and was being targeted by a few guys trying to get her into a bedroom. Gf asked me to drive her friend home. I did, and got the third degree from parents. After about an hour of talking and explaining that I was looking out for her and not "with" her in any way, I head back to the party. Got there just in time to see my gf waking out the front door with her hand holding a guy's hand, leading him to his car, where they proceeded to have a quickie. I waited for the car to stop rocking, went up to the window and knocked on it. She looked out and saw me, looked like she had seen the devil. I walked away. She chased me saying sorry, it was the alcohol. I never spoke another word to her ever again. She tried for months to get back together, but I wouldn't say anything to her. Drove her crazy.

 

Serious girlfriend from high school/early college --- cheated on me 11 times. I only caught her 5 times ("only" - lol), and dumped her after the fifth. I found out later on about the other 6 shortly after we were done. I guess I kind of always knew she didn't love me....but she was THE hot girl in school (cheerleader, very popular, gorgeous). I never understood why she picked me to be with other than she probably thought she could do whatever and I'd always take her back. She pretty much stalked me for a while after I dumped her, constantly getting in my face and screaming and crying about loving me and how she was sorry and she had changed.

 

College girlfriend/fiancee --- cheated on me 7 times. I only knew about two of them, left her after I found out about the 2nd one. Found out about the other five afterwards. Just like the previous gf, she wouldn't leave me alone afterwards....she loved me, she had changed, blah, blah, blah. She married the last guy she cheated on me with. Cheated on him. He broke her arm. They're still together.

 

2nd college gf --- almost the same as high school gf #1. I took someone home from a party that couldn't drive. Came back to walk in on her in a bedroom riding a guy. She hopped off, chased me outside while being almost naked. Screaming I needed to understand. Never saw her again.

 

Wife (now ex) --- cheated on me 7 times. I only caught two of them. She fessed up to one after our second child was born, a ONS a few months before we got married. I caught her the last two times. Found out about the others afterwards. The way I caught her the last time....her place of employment moved about 60 miles away. She thought about quitting, but the pay was good....worth the commute. We only had one car. Our work schedules overlapped, so she used to ride to work with a friend, and I'd pick her up when she was off. When the job moved, her friend that she rode with quit. She found another ride, but the girl would only take her to work if she spent the night at her house. The reason being that we lived in a BIG city, one of the biggest in the country. With traffic, her friend would have to wake up over 2 hrs earlier in order to pick up my wife and get to work on time. So my wife would come home from work, eat, say bye to everyone, then get picked up around 8pm by her work friend to go stay at her house. One night, around 10pm, I got several notifications that all of her online accounts (At&t, Dept store, loans, etc) had been updated changing them from my email address to a different one that turned out to be a guy's name that she worked with. I was livid....heart raced like crazy. Then I broke down. My kids came in the room, saw me, then they saw the emails. My youngest who was 10 said, "Mom's cheating on you?". Then we all cried. My oldest was furious. She immediately went and got trash bags and she put all of her moms clothes in them, along with jewelry and personal effects. I was shellshocked. My daughter shook me and said, "Come on....we're going over there. I know where he lives". She knew bc my wife had taken them to his house for a work swim party one evening when I was at work. I knew about it. They came home that night saying how much fun it was as there was a lot of kids there. So we go and put all the bags in front of his front door, then drove off. I didn't sleep that night. Around 520am, she calls me. She's crying, saying she's sorry. She loves me. It was a mistake (that god damn word). She wants to come home. I told her there was no need. The next day I got the landlord to remove her name from the lease and I hired an attorney. We were divorced about 5 months later. I got custody of the kids. She called all throughout the waiting period, begging to reconcile. She even called once after the D was final, saying her man was abusive, how he pulled a gun on her several times threatening to kill her then himself if she ever left. She begged to come home. Said she'd live in the garage. No way. The gun thing didn't phase me. I didn't care. And my daughters were there next to me saying not to let her come home.

 

 

First gf after D --- I met her at a bar. She told me she lived with a guy but they were done. He was moving out the next day. She asked for my number. She called me a week later, asked me out. He was gone at this point. I verified by her letting me listen to voice mails he left her. We started dating, nothing too serious. About 3 weeks into dating, she calls me one night around 2am. She was crying. He had just broken down her door and beaten the hell out of her. I went and got her and took her to the ER. Took her home around 9am....she had a concussion, 2 broken ribs, a black eye and a broken nose. A month later she told me she had fallen for me, wanted to be exclusive. I said yes as I had feelings for her as well. Fast fwd 5 months. Things are great. My kids like her a lot. I've totally fallen for her. I got off work early one day, went to her place to surprise her. She had given me a key, so I sneak in quietly and creep to the bedroom to find her ex bf (yes, the one that beat her ass) on top of her. For a split second I thought she was getting raped. Then I heard the moans....the moans that were supposed to be reserved for me. Neither of them saw me. I put my key on her bar and quietly left. I was destroyed. She blew my cell phone up for about two months, then she finally gave up

 

Bc of my daughters, I powered thru, didn't let it get me down. And I swore off women. Yeah, right...lol. Two years later I met the love of my life. We dated for 3 years, then married. We celebrate our 10th anniversary this October.

 

What made me come here was, as I said, finally dealing internally with all the cheating that happened to me. As the years passed, all of my exes (except high school gf #2) tracked me down and apologized to me. I accepted all of their apologies except for my ex wife's. I never will either. One day at work about two months ago, my high school girlfriend (the one that cheated on me 11 times) came there and found me. She asked if I could give her a few minutes. I said ok and went outside with her. She proceeded to tell me how she had travelled from a city 5hrs away to talk to me she had found mute on fb and saw there where I worked. She said how her whole life she had sabotaged every relationship she had been in. She was in counseling now, and after 6 months she had come to the realization that bc of her treatment of me, that she never allowed herself to be happy as she subconsciously felt she didn't deserve it. She went on to apologize profusely for all of the abuse she put me thru. She said I was still the best guy she was ever with, that no one ever treated her like I did, and she may never get over me. She wasn't there to woo me. She knew I was happily married. I told her I accepted her apology. She then hugged me and gave me a peck kiss on the cheek and said goodbye.

 

That night in bed, I found myself crying. My ex finding me and apologizing to me had made me finally emotionally deal with all of the times I had been cheated on. With all of the cheating in my life, I never once let my emotions out. I always just moved one. It felt good to let it out. I told my wife what was going thru my head. She said she was glad and assured me she'd never hurt me, but I knew that. She said she always knew I had some kind of issue deep inside me. I asked her how she knew that bc I sure didn't. She said in all of our time together that maybe once a year, I'd just get quiet, stone cold quiet. I'd tell her nothing was wrong. She says it would last a day at the most. Funny that I don't really remember doing that. But my daughters say it's true.

 

So here I am. I kinda like this place....maybe I'll weigh in on some threads if I feel i'll be of use.

 

I know I don't really have any issues that I'm here for, but feel free to AMA.

[Lobe]

[]

 

OP, you seem to attract women who aren't interested in staying faithful. I wonder if you have a "doormat" sign on your forehead? I had a "hit me I have Daddy issues" sign on my forehead when I first started dating and without even trying I found the psychos and losers. I married one of them and after my divorce went to an amazing therapist who somehow manages to get me to take that sign down.

 

I'm curious why you're so confident that this woman won't cheat? A lifetime of being cheated on has to take its toll on your self esteem - have you ever attended counselling to deal with the grief you obviously still carry around with you?

Edited August 11, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
redacted response to deleted posts ~6

[GoldenR]

It's crazy....I'm aware of that. Every one of them asked me out. They all initiated the relationships with me. I guess I do attract cheaters....lol. I have no explanation. But they didn't seem that way. However, they all had one thing in common.....except the first gf, they all had just gotten out of serious relationships. Maybe I felt safe.

 

My wife is different than all the rest. I went against type on purpose. At this point I know all the signs to look for. No signs yet, and it's been a pretty long time.

[Lobe]

I went against type on purpose.

 

Oh the irony. I went against type, too - I left a physically abusive addict and traded up for... a cheater.

 

Why no therapy or counselling? If it moves you to tears this many years later, if your wife and kids still notice it, it's festering. Maybe the next time you have your "mopey" day you should get your wife or kids to call you out on it and see what's eating you up inside?

[ladydesigner]

Oh the irony. I went against type, too - I left a physically abusive addict and traded up for... a cheater.

 

Why no therapy or counselling? If it moves you to tears this many years later, if your wife and kids still notice it, it's festering. Maybe the next time you have your "mopey" day you should get your wife or kids to call you out on it and see what's eating you up inside?

 

Same!!!

 

My relationships have followed similar patterns. I agree get into therapy and try and figure that out.

 

Of all my long-term R's including my M none have been good.

 

Boyfriend 1- Commitment phobe who cheated and left me.

 

Boyfriend 2 - I left because he was verbally and physically abusive.

 

Now WH: He is character disordered, often emotionally abusive and a cheater.

 

OP may I ask what your relationship was like with your mother?

[GoldenR]

 

Why no therapy or counselling? If it moves you to tears this many years later, if your wife and kids still notice it, it's festering. Maybe the next time you have your "mopey" day you should get your wife or kids to call you out on it and see what's eating you up inside?

 

I told her to tell me next time. And I'll be going to counseling in a little over two weeks.

[GoldenR]

 

OP may I ask what your relationship was like with your mother?

 

Very good...my parents were like the couples on the old 60s and 70s sitcoms. They were so good together it seemed unreal when compared to my friends' parents. Sadly, from the time I was about 12, my mom was very sick for the rest of her life fighting cancer for 30 years until she finally lost to it.

[Darren Steez]

Three relationships, the long term ones, got cheated on three times.

 

And yes I was picking the wrong ones, in your case a combination of bad luck and picking the wrong ones but a consistent theme I see from your actions is you've got the heck out each and every time..good on you.

 

I believe there are good ones out there, but it does seem easier to cheat because most people give in to the "It was a mistake spiel" or give in to the barrage of phone calls. If those women didn't respect you before, they respected you after.

[Jersey born raised]

Saw you post on another thread that OM attacked you and you broke his arm in 2004. You mentioned now he wants to be your buddy at family events. Is shebstill with him? If he was abusive to her (mentioned in this thread) why Is she with him.

[gaumab1]

Your post is inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

[GoldenR]

Saw you post on another thread that OM attacked you and you broke his arm in 2004. You mentioned now he wants to be your buddy at family events. Is shebstill with him? If he was abusive to her (mentioned in this thread) why Is she with him.

 

Yeah...they're still together. I think just bc she has nowhere to go. She called me at one point shortly after moving in with him, crying, begging me to let her come home. Said she'd live in the garage. Claimed he held a gun to her head. I didn't know whether to believe her or not, as she was always a cumulative liar. But I also just didn't care. One thing I didn't mention id that she was very physically and emotionally abusive to our oldest daughter. My girls were the happiest they'd ever been once she was gone. She wasn't coming back. That was in 2005. Now, 11 years later, they seem OK, I guess. My daughter's are both well past 18, so I really have no reason to communicate with her.

 

On her being a liar...Her friends would question her on why she was steppinh out on me bc I bc was so nice. She would tell them that she hates being with me bc I would force her to have sex. Smh....we didn't have sex hardly ever bc I just gave up and quit asking. We only did it when she'd initiate, like 3 times a year. Little did I know she was getting it elsewhere.

 

And her man wanting to be my buddy....ugh, just f-ing ugh. My youngest who is 23 now has a heart surgery coming up very soon. So I get to look forward to him trying to sit next to me and follow me everywhere. It's like he's my one man posse. I want to break his arm again. Lol.

 

Neither of my daughters have that great of a relationship with either of them. They both still hold resentment to both of them.

[GoldenR]

Your post is inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

 

Thank you! I've never really seen it that way, so it's nice to hear that. To me, it's always been kind of shameful, like I was never enough for these ex SOs of mine.

 

Thanks again!

[Marc878]

Yeah...they're still together. I think just bc she has nowhere to go. She called me at one point shortly after moving in with him, crying, begging me to let her come home. Said she'd live in the garage. Claimed he held a gun to her head. I didn't know whether to believe her or not, as she was always a cumulative liar. But I also just didn't care. One thing I didn't mention id that she was very physically and emotionally abusive to our oldest daughter. My girls were the happiest they'd ever been once she was gone. She wasn't coming back. That was in 2005. Now, 11 years later, they seem OK, I guess. My daughter's are both well past 18, so I really have no reason to communicate with her.

 

On her being a liar...Her friends would question her on why she was steppinh out on me bc I bc was so nice. She would tell them that she hates being with me bc I would force her to have sex. Smh....we didn't have sex hardly ever bc I just gave up and quit asking. We only did it when she'd initiate, like 3 times a year. Little did I know she was getting it elsewhere.

 

And her man wanting to be my buddy....ugh, just f-ing ugh. My youngest who is 23 now has a heart surgery coming up very soon. So I get to look forward to him trying to sit next to me and follow me everywhere. It's like he's my one man posse. I want to break his arm again. Lol.

 

Neither of my daughters have that great of a relationship with either of them. They both still hold resentment to both of them.

 

If you spit in his right eye he may take the hint

[Marc878]

Thank you! I've never really seen it that way, so it's nice to hear that. To me, it's always been kind of shameful, like I was never enough for these ex SOs of mine.

 

Thanks again!

 

Nope, you handled it really well I think. The shame is on them

[oldshirt]

To me, it's always been kind of shameful, like I was never enough for these ex SOs of mine.

 

 

You must be a lot better than me. The women who cheated on me took off and I never heard from them again. The was no begging to take them back or blowing up my phone etc. they were just gone.

[stillafool]

What impressed me most about your heartbreaking story is that you were a gentlemen through it all. All the best to you, your wife and daughters.

[GoldenR]

What impressed me most about your heartbreaking story is that you were a gentlemen through it all. All the best to you, your wife and daughters.

 

Thanks....but believe me, the stuff I was thinking wasn't very gentlemanly.

[Wade Lamare]

Did 1st GF after divorce ever know that you'd found her 'in flagrante delicto'?

 

You mention that she blew up your phone for two months, did she ever apologise in person? If so how did she try to explain away her f***** up mindset that quite apart from stepping out on you she was doing it with the guy that assaulted her? Perhaps she never realised that you'd caught them in the act?

 

Gotta say that I have a bit more respect for those that owned their choices in life and apologised to those they'd hurt.

 

Perhaps it's my suspicious nature but I'd also be a bit wary. For instance the one that travelled many hours to see you. Glad she had the stones to offer her apologies but I'd always be a bit suspicious that she could care less when she was younger but now when she was older and more mature she realised what a good thing she had and that you had matured into a solid, stable and successful man. Not always the man that the ladies like when they are young but when they are older you suddenly become hot stuff!

[GoldenR]

The gf that I caught in the act but didn't tell her, she knew. Her voice mails that she was leaving confirmed it. The key gave it away. I ran into her about a year later at a grocery store and she apologized. I didn't ask for an explanation of why him.....I just didn't care at that point.

 

And the one that tracked me down....it had been 28 years since I'd last seen her. I'm old. Lol.

[Lion Heart]

GoldenR

 

I totally get you.

 

I think it's WONDERFUL you have a FAITHFUL and devoted wife now. You finally met someone who deserves you. Congratulations on your 10y marraige!

 

Your story sounds so similar to mine, it's kind of freaky actually! Lol.

 

I was reading your story until late last night and this morning BAM it hit me. Yes!

 

EXACTLY THE SAME CYCLE OF.... "good" relationship, betrayal by my partner, they want me back, their apology & sometimes begging for years, me "NO WAY", move on...was rinse repeat in the NEXT relationship.

 

Woah. It's so much to handle.

 

The concept I found way too INCREDULOUS to believe, and still DO FIND mind you, is WHY ARE THERE SO EFFING MANY CHEATING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?

 

WHY do they THINK "oh, it's ok. It was NOTHING. That f*** meant NOTHING TO ME".

 

Well it meant the end for me.

And you too obviously.

 

I want to CONGRATULATE you on ditching all those cheating women. I know the incredible pain you went through each and every time! I really do.

 

A Psychologist I saw a few days after my horrific D Day (the other's in that M were absolutely shocking but not bearing NEAR the horror of that 1st one) I asked her WHY do I FEEL LIKE THIS??? I had never been more grief stricken, even through the deaths of so many family members.

 

HOW COULD THIS FEELING BE WORSE?

Her reply:

You are grieving.

Your grief is EQUAL to the depth of effort, emotion & TIME you put into this M.

Your family has been shattered by this ONE thing.

 

Stupid to think of it really. That STBexVWH sticking his comical body parts in old women? Was or should AFFECT ME? Ofcourse it did at the time. Omg. The horror.

 

BUT I'LL ADD THIS: MY reasoning since has been UNLIKE the death of a loved one who had no choice but to die. It WASN'T THEIR FAULT they died. My grief was normal and natural.

 

CHEATERS HAVE A CHOICE and the CHOICE THEY make to cheat and CAUSE devastation to US, our FAMILIES, our beautiful children. It's THIS! THEIR BLATANT disregard for all those who LOVED THEM. Past tense. They just put themselves and their crazy "wants" NOW as a priority. Not caring. Not LOVING US. Nor their children ENOUGH.

 

Golden it's part of a cheater's make up TO cheat.

Ok. SOME LEARN and don't ever do it again. Sure. Congratulations? Lol. Too late and too bad.

 

Some are just NPD, have O.D.D. are sociopaths and psychopaths, have Dissociative Personality Disorder. Wow! See that? That was this thing I'm divorcing. I have had compassion for his disorders once I found out. And other stuff he witnessed as a child. BUT HE KNEW FULL WELL WHAT HE WAS DOING WHEN he used COUNTLESS WORK hours to create ANOTHER world with multiple women. Grooming them for months sometimes.

 

HE DEFINITELY KNEW WHEN he was unzipping his pants that he was not MARRIED to that one.

 

It's ALL ON THEM.

 

So it brings us (you and me GR, and possibly others here) to the question WHY? Why does it or DID IT continue to repeat in OUR LIVES...

 

It's a variety of concepts forming but I think we're getting there together.

People like us LOVE completely. When we meet someone we really like and continue to get more involved, we give them EVERYTHING we've got.

 

Very few people deserve a love like that.

Some people don't even WANT a love like that.

Some people don't SEE the VALUE in a person like us.

Some do! And hang on for the ride, then USE and ABUSE our love.

 

Some people are JUST LIKE US and truly DO love us the RIGHT way lol. Which just means MATCH US.

 

Gosh this is long. Sorry! But the last thing...

 

I ran into a very old friend from my childhood recently. We recognized each other immediately although it had been almost 35y since we saw each other. She's a Psychologist too!

She had had THREE cheating husbands. She's had to buy the same home three times! Lol omg. Only 1 child thank goodness.

 

She was saying that the cheating has had an EXPONENTIAL EFFECT on her psychologically. It has ACCUMULATED within her and she just CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY.

 

WELL HELLO! that's probably where we should have ALL started lol. Not ENDED.

 

It's in our psyches TO TRUST but also to TRUST PEOPLE UNDESERVING of that trust.

 

Seems simple but for GOOD people who wouldn't DREAM of STEALING ANYTHING from anyone; not love. Not time. Not effort. Not money. Not a MARRIAGE. We cannot UNDERSTAND for the life of us, WHY THEY think that's a good idea.

 

They thought it WAS at the time. Yeah right. WRONG.

 

WHEN people like you and I, GoldenR, FIND OUT? They're dust. Gone. Nada. Simple as that.

 

So it's BECAUSE WE were so loving and forgiving and supportive and all else that these people thought THEY were the Sunshine of our lives. And they were for a time. They thought THEY were the LOVE OF OUR lives...nup. wrong.

 

They have delusional thinking.

I've also had EVERY person who cheated on me come back. Apologize. Usually WANT ME BACK. One exWH kept up this caper for 12 long years on me until I changed all my numbers. Crying and bs bs bs. He was MARRIED AGAIN and so was I. What a nut.

 

Another bf who obviously had GIGS. Who had proposed SO MANY TIMES...he left. Then spent the next 10 years trying to find me. He wrote relentless letters. Made phonecalls to ALL my friends and family. I told them to block him lol. His letters were SO HEARTFELT and sad.

 

So what.

 

HE WAS MARRIED AGAIN TOO. 2 children. He finally found what surname I was using. Found where I worked. He was OBSESSED. He flew interstate JUST to take me out for lunch. Had organized it with my coworkers. Woah. Walked in. He was so overweight lol. Said "OMG You're MORE beautiful after 10 years!" And cried. I took the cornflowers he remembered were my favourite. I ate with him. Listened. He wanted to leave his W! Be with me.

 

I said "Contact me again and I'll phone your wife". Burn our photos. MOVE ON.

Yes there are so many others. Awful.

3 marraiges down. I said no to around 10-15 M proposals. So kind of a SUCCESS story really lol!

I said No to another one recently.

No. I haven't slept with all those men. Most of them have known me for decades.

 

Snap GoldenR. I get you.

 

Lots to work through and I'm very glad you're having Counselling.

 

LS saved my life last year. There was no other place on earth where I felt so understood. Welcome though I'm sorry you've been through all this.

 

Lion Heart

[GoldenR]

Wow.....thanks, Lion Heart. Yeah, you do get me. I actually did try to R twice, with my fiance and my (ex) wife. I didn't really go into too much detail about that, but it was brutal both times.

 

I've never understood the "I want you, love you and choose you now that I'm caught" reflex that so many of them have.

 

I'll never understand the "It wasn't about me picking AP over you....I would never pick them over you" explanation either. My ex wife said that so many times. And every time I'd say, "I'm pretty sure you picked him over me every time you f***ed him, every time you lied about where you were going, every time you talked to him on the phone scheduling your next meet up". She'd get so pissed off when I'd say that. Lol

 

I'm glad I'll never have to deal with that crap again.

[Lion Heart]

GoldenR yes, I do get you.

 

I'm so sorry. We are in a world of so few.

 

I was talking with my beautiful American boyfriend tonight. Telling him about you. I met him here on LS. He's the sweetest man on earth. I'm so lucky.

 

But so few truly understand the PURE TORTURE we've been through. Over and over and OVER again.

 

Tbh most people say or think: "Oh, so YOU are complaining that YOU had the opportunity to MARRY again? Have all those PARTNERS AGAIN? Blah blah blah..."

 

Don't they GET IT? WE DIDN'T WANT THAT MANY PARTNERS or spouses etcetera.

 

We wanted one. Just one. Only one was all we asked for.

 

Why weren't WE ENOUGH for them?

 

Why were we treated like old garbage and screwed up like an old paper bag and THROWN AWAY?

 

WHY?

 

I have my gorgeous boyfriend and another very close friend from here (many in fact whom I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR!) and these 2 beautiful men said: you picked the wrong guy.

 

Simple as that.

 

It just can't be as simple as that! Surely not. Not with a REPEAT EXPERIENCE over and over again. For both of us GoldenR.

 

So many concepts are flowing through my mind. I'M CLUELESS MOST OF THE TIME!

 

I feel like Helen's "exponential effect" theory has some weight. Like IF WE DON'T work this sh** out, no matter HOW GORGEOUS our BEAUTIFUL NEW PARTNERS are, will I purely SABOTAGE this too???? Because of ME?

 

It's really scary. I'm more confident in my relationship now than any other before.

 

I NEED to be who I am.

I have to be who I am.

 

What if that's not enough. Am I enough. Moreso, do I feel WORTHY of such a great love as this.

 

My story also has so many details left out lol as you can imagine. My own father cheated on my mother. He left my baby brother's funeral and didn't turn up to the wake. My mother told me decades later (such a good woman ?). She sat in the bedroom for hours phoning hospitals AND EVERYONE in our phone book, trying desperately to find out where my father was.

 

She couldn't find him.

 

My baby brother"s funeral was her D Day.

 

The SEVERE pain my mother must've gone through.

Her beautiful baby buried.

Her husband with his lover.

Me heartbroken. Missing my baby brother and asking where he was for weeks, months and veritable years.

 

Then asking why daddy left.

 

I guess our worthiness comes from ourselves.

When parents f*** us up and f*** us over as children...

For me it starts there.

 

In fact THAT'S ALSO WHAT this POS exVWH USED AGAINST me. That the only reason he cheated was because of MY feelings of worthiness.

 

Wtf.

What a COMPLETE LOAD OF BS.

 

Crikeys I hate blame shifting lol.

 

Yep totally agree. SHE DID CHOOSE THE AP OVER YOU with every breath she breathed the WHOLE time of the undisclosed A.

 

Reconciliation is HORRIBLE.

 

After D Day number 1 lol I couldn't even walk INTO MY KITCHEN for a whole month because of all the sex stuff they did in the kitchen. Ok. She did take her clothes off and lay in her bed spread eagle but both of them said he walked out at that point. Nice visual! An old very fat woman trying to tempt ....whatever.

 

Oh dear...so so stupid. Such a stupid waste of time being with a serial cheater.

 

I just WISH he'd TOLD me all those years ago.

 

But then I wouldn't have my beautiful boyfriend.

I wouldn't have a love I've never experienced before.

 

We both say that unless we went through such horrid Ms, we wouldn't have met each other. So true.

 

It doesn't matter to me how many men hit on me.

How many "opportunities" I have.

Ugh I went out ONCE TODAY to fill my car with petrol and got invited out by a man. Grrrrrr. I'M WEARING A "WEDDING RING" 4CS. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

 

I hate people lol. No. I was polite. Just did a 180 and put the bowser back fast.

 

I'm no movie star. No model at all.

I don't get it.

 

Lol my bf said if he saw me filling up my car with petrol today and he was single, he would have definitely asked me out too. He couldn't blame him. I guess that puts another slant on things. IDK.

 

I'm sick of the merry-go-round. The games people play.

 

I just and only wanted one good man. I truly hope he's arrived. I'm quite sure he has.

 

Lion Heart