balletgirl Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 opinons please... My b/f of 8 months has recently began hanging out with a female friend of his, since i have been away.. ( i will be returning in a month)... So, my question is that should i trust this male/female friendship? They are in the same circle of friends, live about 5 minutes away from each other and dated briefly (like 2 weeks) about 4 years ago... Can they be trusted? Tonight he called and said that he was in (we will call her B) in B;s apartment complex cuz the group of friends is going out and he and B are going to take one car.. He could tell in my voice that something was bothering me.. After i told him that i just thought it was weird that he was hanging out with her so much, he said that if i didnt want him to hang out with her, he would stop.. But i insisted that i did not want to tell him who he would hang out with and that as long as they were with their group, it didnt really bother me.. Just that after drinking, and being in a bar, i know what can happen, even between friends... He told me that he understood but he couldnt comprehend how i still couldnt trust him given the fact that in all the time that we have been together, he has never once, given me a reason not to trust him.. After a few more minutes of me trying to explain how i felt, i told him to have a fun time, tell everyone hi and i will talk to him later.. Then i figured it out.. It isnt that i dont trust him, it is that i am jealous of HER, because she is spending all this time with MY boyfriend, and i cannot.. Doesnt that make sense?! I thought that it did. So, i text him that and i really just hope that everything goes well.... I mean, after reading some of your posts, i understand that men and women CAN just be friends. And the fact that like, 80 percent of my boyfriends friends are female, that is just something that i have come to accept... And i guess that i will have to accept this B. Especially since he said that he would stop hanging out with her, if i wanted him to! I dont own him, and refuse to tell him what to do, but i can voice my concern right?? Am i legitimate in my opinion?? Thanks!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted July 2, 2005 Moderators Share Posted July 2, 2005 Originally posted by balletgirl So, my question is that should i trust this male/female friendship? Can they be trusted? I dont own him, and refuse to tell him what to do, but i can voice my concern right?? Am i legitimate in my opinion?? Thanks!!!! Well, under the circumstances, without having done anything that would lead you to question his honesty in this regard, I would think that the best thing you can do is to trust him, yes. You can certainly voice your concern (as you did). One thing I would say, though, is that if you do trust him, then make sure that you do not hold the "get together" tonight in any question in your own mind or heart. Trust, until you have reason to not do so. Oh, and by the way, how far away are you from him? Do you get to spend time together much? Just curious. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author balletgirl Posted July 7, 2005 Author Share Posted July 7, 2005 Thank you for your opinion.. I am actually right now out of the state.. but only for about another month.. We live about 25 mintues away from each other, but are always together on the weekends, and he shows up at my place as a suprise sometimes.... Link to post Share on other sites
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