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A mad wife

Confusedhusband2006

By Confusedhusband2006,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Confusedhusband2006

Confusedhusband2006

Posted
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My wife got really mad over a photo that someone had posted over social media of my ex fiancé and I. She is so mad that she won't talk to me and threatens to never come back. I have never spoken much about my ex nor have I ever contacted her after my wife and I started dating. This is not the first time she mentioned she wanted to leave the marriage. She doesn't show me much affection anymore, every time I try to kiss her she always makes an excuse not to. I have been there for her through tough times and never threw her past in her face. We have beautiful children together and we love her very much. I am so confused and not sure how to address this issue anymore. I feel as if she is finding a reason to get out of the marriage. I know she wouldn't cheat on me either. Anyone have suggestions?

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Marriage counseling.

 

You cannot make a marriage work on your own. If she is unwilling to try marriage therapy then you'll have no choice but to file for divorce. I know you love her but you are miserable and there is no honor is staying in a miserable marriage.

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basil67

basil67

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Yes, it does indeed sound like she's looking to get out of the marriage. I agree that marriage counselling would be a good thing, but only if she wants to work on the marriage.

 

However, as she's refusing to talk with you at present - you need to think about the here and now. How old are your kids? Are they old enough to be partially self sufficient? Because if they are, I'd be inclined to ask your wife to leave and not return till she can be civil.

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Satu

Satu

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I think you're looking at the tip of an iceberg, in her reaction to this photo.

 

There's much more going on beneath this.

 

Has she mentioned any other issues to you?

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Shanex

Shanex

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She overreacted over something fairly common, imo and she can't refuse any further communication with you or this will be headed to a divorce. Why is she being so obtuse ?

 

Feel free to give out more about your story and this marriage and we will help further.

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Satu

Satu

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I'll throw in a psychoanalytic truism, because it seems relevant:

 

 

"She's not upset about what she thinks she's upset about."

 

 

Or:

 

 

"She's not upset about what you think she's upset about."

 

 

In running away, she's running more from herself than you.

 

 

It's the result of her own inner processes.

 

 

Its probably better that she's where she is, for the moment; it will allow her psyche to untangle a bit.

 

 

Take care.

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Mr. Lucky

Mr. Lucky

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My wife got really mad over a photo that someone had posted over social media of my ex fiancé and I.

 

Have you interacted with this photo with a comment or a like?

 

Mr. Lucky

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Confusedhusband2006

Confusedhusband2006

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Posted (edited)

Thanks for the feedback. She is still acting like its my fault. I did not react to the photo at all. It's been mentioned before and I do believe she is trying to run away from herself. She's had a little of a troubled past and can't believe that she is with a steady man. It's not like I lack in house duties nor taking care of our kids. everything she ever wanted I have provided for her. Seems like she wants to blame me for everything. I have had enough of her blaming me when I'm not at fault. It's like she expected me to be a perfect angel prior to her but it's ok for her to have a past. Would love anymore feedback you all have.

Edited by Confusedhusband2006
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basil67

basil67

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If she has a troubled past, it's because she's got issues. However, those issues won't resolve themselves by having a stable partner.

 

Does she agree that she has issues? If so, has she done any work on herself - or would she be willing to?

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Alltohim

Alltohim

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I think your wife has to realize that the picture was of a past relationship, and

whoever posted it was very inappropriate. Maybe looking at some counselling

for yourself and then some talking together would help with the counsellor.

Whatever, don't give up the relationship yet, the kids need your family very

much together!!

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TrustedthenBusted

TrustedthenBusted

Posted
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. I know she wouldn't cheat on me either. Anyone have suggestions?

 

 

My first suggestion is to stop telling yourself THIS.

 

The infidelity forum is chocked full of people who knew their spouses wouldn't cheat.

 

 

My second suggestion is to ask her flat out if she really wants to leave your marriage, and then take action if she says yes.

 

And by action, I mean show her where the exit door is, and allow her the choice to walk through it.

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aileD

aileD

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I have a friend that passed away a few years ago. Her biological parents never really got along. He's been remarried for years.

 

He posted a pic today on her birthday of him, ex wife and the three kids way back on christmas when they were little.

 

People do stuff like that. It doesn't mean anything. It's a memory. IT HAPPENED. it's not like you can take back that it happened, and if it was before her time then who the heck cares.

 

There is more that you aren't telling us. Does she have a history with this X?

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OneLov

OneLov

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Posted
There is more that you aren't telling us. Does she have a history with this X?

 

There could be material facts omitted, but then again, some people are very insecure.

 

I had an ex get upset that I did not untag myself in a photo of myself and a previous ex posted by a mutual friend. She was totally justified, and because I was wrong and respected her, I promptly apologized, untagged myself, and was determined to not let my ignorance hurt/disrespect her again.

 

Where she was wrong was insisting there was "more" to it than that. Being there was nothing more I could offer or anything else she could articulate to support her position regarding my state of mind, it was quite maddening to say the least. I ended the relationship because I firmly believe trust is a "two way" street.

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BluesPower

BluesPower

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Confusedhusband2006, You need to give us more if you really want help. By what you have said so far, you need to divorce.

 

How old and how many kids?

 

What is her past about? We have heard it all.

 

Why do you think she won't cheat? Don't think that dude, it is foolish. Everyone can cheat, I am not saying that she is, but her behavior if off. She is cheating and is too afraid to ask for divorce, and/or she is looking for an exit argument to be the last straw so you will ask for a divorce. It could easily be either one or something else.

 

She could be Bat-Sh**-Crazy as well. Who knows.

 

Help us out here and give some info.

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S2B

S2B

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If she left - where is she staying? Go check on where she is! What is she doing while she's gone?

 

You need to find out.

 

And line up counseling - this is no way to communicate within any relationship.

 

If she won't go - then consider divorcing her - her methods are very unhealthy - even for your kids to see that way of coping is terrible.

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