oneconfusedgirl Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 my boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago and we continued to be friends... less than a week after we broke up he went on a date with my friend and they kissed. the next day he wanted to hang out with me and when i refused he started drinking some beers. finally we hung out with some friends and he was acting crazy drunk (though i know that he was not as drunk as he was letting on) my friend called him and got really upset that he was drinking, etc...she is now in china on vacation. after that night he has called me every night to talk and one night we talked for 2 and a half hours...last night he asked me out to dinner and we hung out afterwards talking...he said that he wanted to be with me and that he didn't know why he broke up with me...i asked him about my friend and he claims to have no feelings for her and that the date and kiss was nothing...we made out for a while....and said we missed each other... i told him that i wanted some space cause i wanted him to think things over and figure out what he really wants...he agreed saying that he wanted me but would think about it more because he didn't want to screw me over again... i'm just scared of getting hurt again even though i want to be with him so much because i care about him and like him so much...what about when my friend comes back? she's a backstabbing bitch and i'm scared she'll try to take him from me when she gets back...i don't know waht to do! Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 Well... it sounds like you don't really have much of a friendship with this other woman... (Women are worse than men, I've learned, as far as friends go... we will lie, cheat, backstab, and pretty much do anything to serve our own purpose... - however, there are a few of us that won't do this to each other... and when you find these women in your life - you must hold onto them and appreciate them for all they are worth..) I'd say let this one go, sweetie.. You don't want to hear that, and chances are you will take him back, but it would be best for you in the long run to let him go. The reasons: He dumped you to go out on a date with another woman... that's his only reason.. and it sounds like it didn't go as well as he would have liked, and that he realized too late what he had done. However, if he was willing to do this to you once, he will do it again. I honestly hope I am wrong here, I'm all for giving a second chance. Just make sure that it is a second chance, and that it does not lead to a third, fourth, and/or fifth chance. At that point, you will become a doormat. Link to post Share on other sites
oneconfusedgirl Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Thanks for the reply, drgnflybethany That's what my friends are telling me, but it's just so hard because when I talked to him about these things, it seems like he's telling me the truth. I believe he's a sincere guy, but I agree that he might hurt me again. However, I feel like giving it another chance. One of my friends advised me to wait it out and take things really slowly, just hanging out as friends ... not hooking up until college starts again. I hope everything will work itself out in the end. But thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 he's out experimenting and kissing other girls and you are asking if you should take him back. I think you know the answer to that. Once a partner disrespects the relationship, it's over. I'd only consider saving it if you were married. Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by oneconfusedgirl Thanks for the reply, drgnflybethany That's what my friends are telling me, but it's just so hard because when I talked to him about these things, it seems like he's telling me the truth. I believe he's a sincere guy, but I agree that he might hurt me again. However, I feel like giving it another chance. One of my friends advised me to wait it out and take things really slowly, just hanging out as friends ... not hooking up until college starts again. I hope everything will work itself out in the end. But thanks for your help. You have a great support group that's already giving you some great advice. You are so young - and I honestly wish I could be in your shoes again, knowing what I know now.. and I am sorry if that sounds too condescending.. Go slowly with him.. he has hurt you - and he deserves to suffer for a little while... if he's truly sorry he will understand, if not, and he gets angry, then all he cares about is himself... Everything will work itself out in the end - but please, do not turn yourself into a doormat... and don't expect everything to be resolved because you take him back... too often, we women accept the fault of our men and we don't consider fully what we need... we've been conditioned this way through many years of evolution... Men take into full consideration everything they need... and he has already done this - and with you taking him back, he will probably try this again - and again, I hope he won't... but, if he does, listen to your heart and your feelings and don't be afraid to kick him to the curb... Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob he's out experimenting and kissing other girls and you are asking if you should take him back. I think you know the answer to that. Once a partner disrespects the relationship, it's over. I'd only consider saving it if you were married. Women are a strange breed, VABob.. we will do anything when we believe a man loves us - well, most of us will, anyway... We are capable of great forgiveness, great sacrifice, sometimes to the detriment of our own self esteem, and for fear that this is as good as it is going to get for us... Link to post Share on other sites
oneconfusedgirl Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 well that night that i had already posted about....he had told me he knew what he wanted and that was me! he said when we kissed he felt "everything" ...he said that he thought we should take things really slowly this time and it didn't work the first time cause we moved too fast and he didn't commit... we met up last night and we made out passionately again and i told him that i wanted to be friends for now and just wait it out...and he said ok i want that too...but i asked him if he has feelings for me and he claims he doesn't know and that feelings change. he said he thought maybe he isn't ready for a relationship...i told him not to call me until he figures out his feelings....because even though we've decided on being friends...i need time to get over him and i'm not about to be his friend until he's no longer confused about his feelings.... he called me this morning but i missed his call....i'm suspecting that he called cause he needed a ride to get his car fixed...how can someone be so selfish??? i'm just hurt because whenever i'm with him...everything feels so right...i thought he was perfect for me...if only he wasn't such a selfish, spoiled, immature man.... deep down i'm wishing that he'll grow up and we'll be together again...i just can't stop thinking about him! Link to post Share on other sites
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