broken trust again

[Didi96]

I've been with my bf for 11 yrs, I met him at high school, five yrs ago he cheated on me, I discover him trough an email and a fb conversation in which he said to the other person that he was not interested in continue the affair, that the alcohol and the problems with me was the main reason he did it, I forgave him because he ended the relationship before I was aware of the affair and because at the time I was in a deep depression and my mood affected deeply the relationship. I tried really hard to trust him again but still I checked his cellphone periodically until after one party when I was really drunk checked his phone and found that he had a chat with a friend's sister, she is 5 years younger than him, the messages were innocent although I felt at the time that some parts of the conversation were missing, I send her a message through his phone telling her that I didn't like she messaging him, I didn't call her names but the next day I felt bad because I do know her and I don't want to be a psycho gf, so from that day on I stop snooping on my bf, he don't believe I stopped but he accepted it as a consequence for having cheated on me, today I had to use his phone because I bought a plane ticket and the itinerary was sent to his email, I did this with his consent, but when I opened his mail I saw an unopened mail from his cousin's ex, they were a couple like 4 yrs ago and to my knowledge she went back to Cuba from where she is from, so I read the email and she called him sweetie and promised to write him like he liked it when she gets home, I confronted my bf and he denied to have a virtual relationship with her, I called her in front of him because I was really upset and she said I was misinterpreting everything, I don't know what to do, how can I trust him after everything? I feel really worn out, if he haven't cheated on me before I would have accepted his apologies and explanations, he is really caring about me and treats me well but I'm sick of having to worry about him and someone else, and I feel I don't deserve to find this nasty surprises when I'm trusting him. Any advice?

[smackie9]

Ya......breakup with him, because whatever trust you ever had is gone for good. You can't help how you feel, and it's obvious your fear will never stop unless you leave him.

 

 

I don't blame you really because he never told you about him having contact with her. So it's not appropriate not being open about something about that.....it's disrespectful.

Edited August 14, 2016 by smackie9

[ExpatInItaly]

It's time to move on from this relationship.

 

The trust was broken years ago and you can see it's never fully recovered. And rightly so, because he doesn't sound trustworthy at all.

 

You're still young. Don't waste any more precious years with a man who isn't committed to you.