Mary3 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 The part you are missing here is : You and him are sooo similar !! He is very dedicated and intelligent as well. Devoting his time to the causes ( web sites , his work , ect ) .. I think you need to sit him down and tell him ( Not email or text or phone ) "Hey Joey( insert name ), I think you have been such a great help and soo supportive. I would like to buy you dinner. Or we can go dutch if that makes it more comfortable. How does that sound ? " If he squirms or looks away or you feel his discomfort, then you can shake it off and not mention it again. It appears at that point you have directly confronted him and asked him out. If he looks like a caged monkey eager to be let out- then let it go. Just be his friend. I am curious. Does he ever flirt with you ? If you want to try this bold move you can walk up and ask for a hug. Make it a longggg one ! Then go from there. If he looks mortified then he is either not romantically interested or very shy.... Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Part of me also feels that he doesn't want me to feel like he's rejected me, as that may make things go badly - so he didn't bring it up... And he may think that I wasn't truly asking him out - or something - I dunno.. And then, part of me feels like I'm making excuses.... This is the part I fear the most, as I did that recently with crush #1... Bethany, I think most guys know when a women is asking them out or giving the green light to ask them out. I think he is very shy and dense or he just isn't interested. Do you know if he has a g/f? He may have someone and feels embarrassed to tell you as you have shown interest in him. I know we do make excuses for the crush because we want so much for them to like us the same way. It is a game of dice so at best the odds are 50/50. I think he likes you as a friend and you probably should go with that, if it doesn't bother you to much. I'm sorry that he doesn't seem to feel the same way. I guess the only thing is that you did say that friends would be fine with you so it might not be to much of a downer for you. I think you did the right thing in suggesting to him you were interested. There is no shame in liking someone and telling them of your feelings. If they can't handle that then they are immature and not worth your time. I wouldn't suggest anymore about getting together with him and just go back to the way things were. If he ever changes his mind he will have to be the one to let you know. Keep your dignity and be mature and confident with him. Don't avoid him and go about your tasks as normal. IT IS DEFINITELY HIS LOSS... Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 I must say that it is quite strange how you casually invited him and he didn't follow through (even if he had legitament excuses) and then didn't follow up afterwards. Like if a girl I am interested in asks if I want to do anything this weekend...if I am SUPER busy and I have no free time I'd tell her that, and offer something back like "Maybe next monday? I'll call you." or something along those lines. Basically I know that this is my chance and she's not gonna keep asking for dates over and over if I keep turning her down. Him not giving a counter offer to get together isn't a good sign. The other option that Marshbear mentioned is that he is super-shy and totally oblivious. However, given the fact this guy is in his 20's (right?) that really doesn't make any sense. If he was a high school kid then maybe I could understand, but if a guy is in his 20's it's almost a given that he has enough experience to recognize obvious signs like this. Don't invite him to anymore occasions, let him make the next move. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 from the way drgnflybethany described Rejection#1 and #2, I think it's pretty obvious he knows she's interested And from the way she described him, he doesn't sound like he's the shy type of guy. Take your time on this one if you wanna pursue something more than just friendship. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author drgnflybethany Posted July 9, 2005 Author Share Posted July 9, 2005 Originally posted by Mary3 I am curious. Does he ever flirt with you ? God yes - he flirts quite a bit... I get flustered and can't speak... Which is so difficult - Our comfort ground is politics - and that's where we do the most flirting... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Flirting like what ? Like " Oh God you look so hot with that amercian flag draped around your warm thighs ? " Link to post Share on other sites
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