So he moved on...[UPDATE 2017]

[QueenDafine]

Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 months, and 7 of those were long distance. In those 7 months I saw him twice, for about two weeks at a time. But even before we went long distance I still hardly saw him because of strong commitments in our life. Our relationship was crazy; up and down all the time and part of it was because me, myself, having bad experiences in the past, couldn't cope that well with the long distance part. We made it work really good the first few months and then we started to fight ALOT, a fight almost every week and things started to change.

 

We stopped calling each other, no facetiming and we only straight texted for about a month until he flew over to see me. It was good having him here and it reminded me of how much I loved him and wanted him to be in my life, he's practically my best friend and we've been through everything together. After he flew back things were good for about a week, and then things fell apart, in my opinion. He kept saying he was too depressed about leaving and he couldn't deal with being away from me, and to deal with it he was drinking. Every day. I knew he was drinking and smoking everyday and he started to sort of neglect our relationship.

 

He wouldn't text back for hours on end so we would hardly talk, he was always too tired to call or he had work, and it got to the point where I just felt like a burden and like I was trying to keep it together, when I was falling apart without him there. While he was relying on drinking and smoking to get through it all I was relying on him, and he was hardly there anymore. He wasn't there to talk about anything, and it hurt too much to try so hard and get left with nothing time and time again, so naturally I became distant. One day I just got too frustrated and we ended up having a fight, It lasted for about 3 days. In the end I told him we should stop talking for a bit. He reluctantly agreed but then texted me again a few times 2 days later, and I replied.

 

Then things went down. It's safe to say I didn't trust him anymore, and when it gets to that point, there's no going back, I can't change my feelings, I can't be with someone if I dont' trust them, even if I wanted to, I actually just can't cope, and things will go down from there. So we started talking again and I began getting distant and even more distant through our texting and, mind you, we hadn't called or facetimed in about TWO MONTHS at this point. It went on like this for two weeks, I was getting distant and I guess, treating him like a friend, which is stupid but I had no idea how to feel. And guess what? He was becoming more attached to me, he wanted to talk to me every minute of the day and he just wanted to be there, but I just couldn't have it anymore.

 

He eventually got angry about it and confronted me and we had a huge fight and a lot of bad things were said. In the end, it was so much frustration and I just got sick of him and all of it, a few words were exchanged in the end, "Good luck with everything" "Okay, you too, bye", there was no closure at all. We didn't talk for a month, but me and him still had our photos of each other up everywhere, and no one would've been able to guess we'd "broken up". And I still loved him at this point, even though I didn't miss talking to him, I still loved him. His mum also messaged me a few times asking about us, he must of told her I don't know, but she knew something was wrong, and I just told her we needed some time away and stuff like that.

 

So it comes to the present day/s.

My birthday was on the 8th, and he messaged me to wish me a good birthday, ended up writing a large paragraph about how things happened and stuff, apologised and said he wanted the air to be clear, still wishing me luck as well. He also said he knew his mum had been talking to me and apologised for that (hahaha). He also said he wished he never treated me the way he had and he missed us (being together) a lot and he'd do anything to go back. I apologised as well, said thank you, I said I wanted to put that behind me and that his mum was too nice and I didn't mind her talking to me. I got on my phone a few hours later and he replied, jokingly about his mum and cracked a few jokes, kept it light.

 

I went on to ask how he'd been and we had a good conversation about things for the rest of the night. Afterwards I said goodnight and that I'd catch up with him later. I woke up and saw his message, wasn't anything to reply to so I left it. I genuinely couldn't be bothered to text back. And then when I got home from work I wanted to text him, badly, but I knew what would happen. I would fall back into things, We'd get back together and then it would all just be the same. Talking to him after that month of not talking made me realize how much I missed him. We've been through even worse than this and we've gotten through it so I wonder if maybe we just got sick of eachother.

 

I sure was getting sick of him and the relationship, but I can't let him go. And at this point there's only two options; let him go or get back with him. I'm so confused about what I'm feeling. The thought of leaving him, us, for good brings tears to my eyes and I don't want to lose my best friend. It's extremely difficult too knowing that we only ever fight and have problems because of the distance, because when we're actually together things are the best. I fear regretting leaving what we had completely because I'm scared that when I do see him again (and I will) all those feelings will come back. But then I also think of "what if I do get with him again?" It's hard to explain to you guys everything that's happened with us and our situation, but my friends tell me to leave him.

 

I don't want to get back with him and things be exactly the way they were before. That would kill me, and I have enough going on right now and I don't need another emotional roller coaster. I just could not do it again, and if it happened like that, I know we'd be done for good. I just don't know what to do, I'm so confused and lost. Maybe I'm waiting for him to find another girl because then I definitely wouldn't go back t him, I don't know. We haven't talked since my birthday, he hasn't texted me again (like he would usually do) and I know he's leaving it up to me. I'm thinking of just not texting him again, deleting all of our photos on social media and just going on with my life, it would be ideal.

 

I still love this guy and I'd do anything for him, but I respect and care about by wellbeing more. We're still both very young, I've known him since I was 15, we're both each other's first serious relationship, so I guess it should be a no-brainer.

 

I just don't know what to do, it'd be nice if I could have some advice on what to do, and if anyone has felt the same in a relationship before.

Edited August 25, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added paragraphs, please use them in the future

[Ami1uwant]

Why did you even date?

[QueenDafine]

Why did I date him? Is that even relevant? Bye.

[QueenDafine]

No comment is better than a useless comment Please don't bother if you can't help me instead of complaining about the structure of what I wrote. Wtf.

Thanks.

[Vado]

No comment is better than a useless comment Please don't bother if you can't help me instead of complaining about the structure of what I wrote. Wtf.

Thanks.

 

You might think it's a useless comment. It really would help to seperate a text in to paragraphs. You have the attitude wtf, do what ever I want, but it might prevent others to write a road of a text.

 

if you don't accept people who not only care about 'what' but also about 'how', well, everybody is different....

[QueenDafine]

You might think it's a useless comment. It really would help to seperate a text in to paragraphs. You have the attitude wtf, do what ever I want, but it might prevent others to write a road of a text.

 

if you don't accept people who not only care about 'what' but also about 'how', well, everybody is different....

 

Well it's pretty useless if I've already posted it anyway? Sorry it's not up to someone's expectations? I'm looking for advice on my situation right now, not on how to structure my writing, that's the last thing I need and the last thing I'm worried about. So if it's that hard don't even comment instead of being an ass.

[elaine567]

You've known him since you were 15, you have had a crazy up and down relationship, an LDR, fighting a lot, alcohol and weed involved too.

 

Relationships are about having fun and they should be "easy". I do not see anything fun or easy about any of this.

 

You are now split up, I feel you should not go back, it sounds like it was a nightmare with neither of you being truly happy.

[QueenDafine]

Sorry if this is confusing, I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve through this but yeah..

 

 

My ex and I started talking again, it's been a month since we ended our one year relationship. It was over something very minor, however I think a build up of these little things just caused us to break up, I really was sick of him.

 

During this time our photos on social media are all still up, and at this point there's a little thing in the back of my head thinking we would get back together because we broke up over something petty and there was no closure at all. So in this time I avoided any contact with any guys as I was still sort of invested in my ex, and I couldn't be ready anyway.

 

So a week ago came my birthday and he texted me happy birthday and we had a long conversation about how things were going, which showed no indication we were going to get together again. I was fine with that, though t=still unsure, and I texted him a few days later asking if we really weren't together, for good. It was really bugging me.

 

He said we had been over for a while now, then went to say he had moved on and was moving on and hoped I was too. I said fine, I just wanted to know for sure since we never talked about it properly. We then had a casual conversation and then he started saying that he hoped and knew I'd find someone better. I agreed and said I hoped I'd find someone better too, and I hope he'd find the right girl. He then kept asking if I had moved on, then saying he had moved on (he said this multiple times) and I thought he meant just moved on from the relationship. But no. After I said I hoped he'd meet his girl, he replied:

"I have, and her name's --- "

This girl was a girl in his past that had a crush on him but he said he was never attracted to her. It was a huge shock I guess. One, for him to already be dating, and two, because it was her of all people.

 

I felt destroyed,, I broke down and blubbered to my friends for two hours, still texting him that I wished him luck and bye, it was very casual. Looking back through the texts it was like he was rubbing it in my face. All this time I had been waiting and hoping in the back of my mind, when he'd already chatted this girl up and was now calling her "the one".

 

I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve with this. I'm not sure if I'm still in love with him, I know I'll never go back to him, but part of me is hurt and devastated that he could move on so quickly while I was still thinking there was a chance. I can't eat or sleep, I've been up crying for the last three hours. He couldn't know how hurt I'm feeling right now because I didn't show it; but thinking of him with her - kissing her and holding her makes me want to just explode everywhere in tears.

 

I don't know how to feel and I don't know what I expected to happen. He's moved on and happy now and yeah. I don't know what this was, I just needed to get it off my mind.

 

I guess I'm just looking for guidance. Is he really over me? He wouldn't do and say all this if he wanted me back I know that. I'm very confused about my feelings right now and I just can't even think. I feel terrible.

[BaileyB]

I'm sorry. I would not expect anything from him any more. Take some time for yourself before you start dating again. All the best to you.

[Redhead14]

Sorry if this is confusing, I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve through this but yeah..

 

 

My ex and I started talking again, it's been a month since we ended our one year relationship. It was over something very minor, however I think a build up of these little things just caused us to break up, I really was sick of him.

 

During this time our photos on social media are all still up, and at this point there's a little thing in the back of my head thinking we would get back together because we broke up over something petty and there was no closure at all. So in this time I avoided any contact with any guys as I was still sort of invested in my ex, and I couldn't be ready anyway.

 

So a week ago came my birthday and he texted me happy birthday and we had a long conversation about how things were going, which showed no indication we were going to get together again. I was fine with that, though t=still unsure, and I texted him a few days later asking if we really weren't together, for good. It was really bugging me.

 

He said we had been over for a while now, then went to say he had moved on and was moving on and hoped I was too. I said fine, I just wanted to know for sure since we never talked about it properly. We then had a casual conversation and then he started saying that he hoped and knew I'd find someone better. I agreed and said I hoped I'd find someone better too, and I hope he'd find the right girl. He then kept asking if I had moved on, then saying he had moved on (he said this multiple times) and I thought he meant just moved on from the relationship. But no. After I said I hoped he'd meet his girl, he replied:

"I have, and her name's --- "

This girl was a girl in his past that had a crush on him but he said he was never attracted to her. It was a huge shock I guess. One, for him to already be dating, and two, because it was her of all people.

 

I felt destroyed,, I broke down and blubbered to my friends for two hours, still texting him that I wished him luck and bye, it was very casual. Looking back through the texts it was like he was rubbing it in my face. All this time I had been waiting and hoping in the back of my mind, when he'd already chatted this girl up and was now calling her "the one".

 

I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve with this. I'm not sure if I'm still in love with him, I know I'll never go back to him, but part of me is hurt and devastated that he could move on so quickly while I was still thinking there was a chance. I can't eat or sleep, I've been up crying for the last three hours. He couldn't know how hurt I'm feeling right now because I didn't show it; but thinking of him with her - kissing her and holding her makes me want to just explode everywhere in tears.

 

I don't know how to feel and I don't know what I expected to happen. He's moved on and happy now and yeah. I don't know what this was, I just needed to get it off my mind.

 

I guess I'm just looking for guidance. Is he really over me? He wouldn't do and say all this if he wanted me back I know that. I'm very confused about my feelings right now and I just can't even think. I feel terrible.

 

He didn't move on quickly, he had been checked out of the relationship for quite some time and he said that.

 

I don't have much expectation that the relationship with the other girl will go far. To me, he's gone back to something he'd left behind because he knows that she was in love with him and an easy target to be able to find comfort for himself. It's probably not that easy for him either. Dumpers feel hurt and confused after a break up to some degree. She's a rebound . . . and I think it's jerky for him to do that. He's taking advantage of her IMO. Time will tell though.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Sorry if this is confusing, I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve through this but yeah..

 

 

My ex and I started talking again, it's been a month since we ended our one year relationship. It was over something very minor, however I think a build up of these little things just caused us to break up, I really was sick of him.

 

During this time our photos on social media are all still up, and at this point there's a little thing in the back of my head thinking we would get back together because we broke up over something petty and there was no closure at all. So in this time I avoided any contact with any guys as I was still sort of invested in my ex, and I couldn't be ready anyway.

 

So a week ago came my birthday and he texted me happy birthday and we had a long conversation about how things were going, which showed no indication we were going to get together again. I was fine with that, though t=still unsure, and I texted him a few days later asking if we really weren't together, for good. It was really bugging me.

 

He said we had been over for a while now, then went to say he had moved on and was moving on and hoped I was too. I said fine, I just wanted to know for sure since we never talked about it properly. We then had a casual conversation and then he started saying that he hoped and knew I'd find someone better. I agreed and said I hoped I'd find someone better too, and I hope he'd find the right girl. He then kept asking if I had moved on, then saying he had moved on (he said this multiple times) and I thought he meant just moved on from the relationship. But no. After I said I hoped he'd meet his girl, he replied:

"I have, and her name's --- "

This girl was a girl in his past that had a crush on him but he said he was never attracted to her. It was a huge shock I guess. One, for him to already be dating, and two, because it was her of all people.

 

I felt destroyed,, I broke down and blubbered to my friends for two hours, still texting him that I wished him luck and bye, it was very casual. Looking back through the texts it was like he was rubbing it in my face. All this time I had been waiting and hoping in the back of my mind, when he'd already chatted this girl up and was now calling her "the one".

 

I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve with this. I'm not sure if I'm still in love with him, I know I'll never go back to him, but part of me is hurt and devastated that he could move on so quickly while I was still thinking there was a chance. I can't eat or sleep, I've been up crying for the last three hours. He couldn't know how hurt I'm feeling right now because I didn't show it; but thinking of him with her - kissing her and holding her makes me want to just explode everywhere in tears.

 

I don't know how to feel and I don't know what I expected to happen. He's moved on and happy now and yeah. I don't know what this was, I just needed to get it off my mind.

 

I guess I'm just looking for guidance. Is he really over me? He wouldn't do and say all this if he wanted me back I know that. I'm very confused about my feelings right now and I just can't even think. I feel terrible.

 

This is why NC is so important. I don't understand, did you two tell each other that it was over?! Forget formalities or "closure," did the two of you say in some way, that it was over? You two had not communicated in a month, but you checked social media to check up on him? Your relationship status?

 

You need to move on....as he claims he has. You don't know if that other girl is "the one." He could be feeding you crap, especially after he's told you that he's never really been attracted to her. Sounds like a rebound to me.

 

Why in the world, after a month, did he feel the need to contact you AND tell you that he has moved on with a specific girl? I get the birthday wish...

 

Why, if you had hopes, did you wait for him???

 

I'm sorry if my post sounds harsh, but you need to move on. YOU.

[Redhead14]

The other possibility that makes it appear that he's moved on quickly is -- he was seeing her before you two broke up, in which case, he's a cheater and a liar.

 

Keep moving. Go no contact, delete his number and block him. Don't let him treat you like he's treating this girl -- disposable and available for his whim because if things don't work with this girl, he may in fact try to come back to you. Don't let that happen. History often repeats itself.

[Zapbasket]

That's quite a blow. I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible. I would, too, in your shoes.

 

A couple of things: First, don't put much stock in his claim that he has found someone "better," the woman that is his "one." You two have only been broken up a month. So how long have they been dating, a few weeks? He has no idea what he has--she could turn out to be the "one," or, they could be broken up in a few months' time. Also, if it's so great with her, he wouldn't be talking to you. Add to that the fact that he knew in the past that she had a crush on him and wasn't attracted to her, and I smell someone who went for the easy adoration because he didn't want to have to be alone after you two broke up.

 

To me your whole conversation sounds like you're both "posturing," trying to make it seem you're both doing well on your own and both moving on.

 

The second thing is that you say you were sick of him by the time you broke up. Follow that train of feeling for a bit. What about him made you feel sick of him? Focus on those things; they'll empower you by putting you in the seat of rejecting HIM, rather than him rejecting YOU.

 

And the last thought: if you want him back at all, speak up. Call him (no texting), and tell him what you want. Take control to achieve the outcome YOU desire, so that there will be no regrets.

[QueenDafine]

Me and my ex broke up a month ago over something very minor, it was stupid really, agreed on both sides as we were both just sick of fighting and dealing with each other. I still have some hope though, just because we had gotten through worse than this and I don't know, I was thinking maybe when we talked again we could work it out. It was my mistake not communicating that to him and just completely cutting it out cold.

 

He messaged me on my birthday last week and we had a small conversation, where I felt we weren't ever going to get back together. I still had feelings, still loved him regardless but accepted that we wouldn't be together. I messaged him again a week later apologising for not replying and wishing him luck and talking about how we broke up because we hadn't yet, and he went on to say he's moving on, which I thought just meant healing from the relationship until he started saying that I'll find someone better than him and he hopes I move on fast. It was unexpected because a month ago he would've fumed at the idea of me being with someone else.

 

Then I understood what he meant when he said he had found "the one", a girl I knew used to have a crush on him for years, which he said he would never get with. He seemed confident in being with her. I casually wished them luck and finished texting him. I was an absolute mess though. I cried to my friend on the phone for two hours, thinking that I couldn't believe he had already moved on with someone else, I was beyond hurt. I didn't sleep till 1 because I couldn't stop thinking about it, I woke up at 4 after I kept waking up in the middle of sleep to sob into my pillow.

 

I was feeling okay about not being together anymore, but knowing he's with someone else makes me feel horrible. It makes me regret everything, which I know I shouldn't because we broke up because of a reason, and I sort of made the final decision. I obviously know how strong my feelings still are for him, and I just wonder how it only took him a month to forget his feelings and everything.

 

I know he still loved me when we broke up, he had been fighting for me before I gave up and then he gave up. It's my fault I'm in this position but I never thought I could be so miserable, I want him back. Probably for the fact he's with someone else now, he seemed really happy and glad he was with her, even said he had found love again. I don't compare myself with her, not being petty, but she is a downgrade in the physical side, but I know she's funny and has a great personality so that has me. I don't have any intentions of interfering with their new relationship for my own selfish needs but it hurt like a bitch and he was just rubbing it in.

 

I couldn't even spare a lazy make out session to the boys at the college parties I went to after we broke up, I wasn't even ready for that. Yes I know I'm young but this hurts more than anything... It's been a day and I haven't cried for 5 hours so far which is a good start. I know he won't come back; a man would never say that to a girl he would want again. He still has our photos everywhere on facebook/Instagram, he hasn't deleted them yet and I also didn't see any interaction between him and his new girl publicly, so I hadn't been able to tell really.

 

It's possible he was talking to her a few weeks before we broke up, when we were fighting/not good at all as I know they were very good friends (also knowing she had a huge crush on him). I took the step to deleting our photos from my pages, in my phone also, and I've untagged myself from his photos. I'm thinking the next step is to unfriend him. It's too painful seeing him online now, both him and his girlfriend (I have her as a friend on Facebook), but I'm having a problem with it. I feel that it might be childish; we didn't end on bad terms at all yesterday, it was very mutual and casual, and I don't want to seem like a child by deleting him. Or that it might be attention seeking. I probably sound dumb but right now I just want him back, and I know that's not going to happen. I'm definitely not going to text him or anything but if he texts me I'm afraid I might cave.

 

Not sure what I was trying to achieve with this, probably just trying to get it off my chest and stuff because it's driving me crazy. Any advice on what to do? Could there be a chance?

[Redhead14]

You'll get the same advice from me that I gave you on your other thread . . . move on. Block him on everything and delete his number from your phone. This is not about being childish it's about protecting yourself emotionally and giving yourself the best opportunity for moving forward with your life. If you're seeing things that include him and being reminded all the time, you just stay stuck in the moment.

Edited August 15, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote of starting post

[QueenDafine]

You'll get the same advice from me that I gave you on your other thread . . . move on. Block him on everything and delete his number from your phone. This is not about being childish it's about protecting yourself emotionally and giving yourself the best opportunity for moving forward with your life. If you're seeing things that include him and being reminded all the time, you just stay stuck in the moment.

 

Oh I didn't see on the other thread but yes things have progressed.. Thanks for reminding me of that, I've deleted him off everything except facebook. I'd rather not look petty but to be honest and I know its dumb, I feel like that will be the complete end. I don't want him to be with her. I think I'll delete him tomorrow, or maybe when he takes our photos down

[Redhead14]

Oh I didn't see on the other thread but yes things have progressed.. Thanks for reminding me of that, I've deleted him off everything except facebook. I'd rather not look petty but to be honest and I know its dumb, I feel like that will be the complete end. I don't want him to be with her. I think I'll delete him tomorrow, or maybe when he takes our photos down

 

I don't want him to be with her. -- Well, the reality is that that is outside of your control and so take that concept to heart. There isn't anything you can or should do to change it, so, be relieved.

 

I'd rather not look petty -- Better to look petty than be triggered, reminded and unhappy.

 

I've deleted him off everything except facebook. -- You don't have to delete/unfriend on Facebook. What you should so is stay off of Facebook for awhile. Tell your close friends you're taking a break from it. You can unfollow his posts, hide notifications and turn off chat for him too. Just go dark for a while. And, don't worry about perceptions. That's everyone else's deal. Your deal is that you need to keep focused. If anyone questions you, you simply tell them that you're doing what you need to do to heal and get on with your life as a strong, independent, secure woman with lots to offer and don't have time for any of the BS that could come from being on Facebook right now.

[stillafool]

More than likely they had gotten a lot closer than was appropriate way before he broke up with you. He didn't just fall for her overnight. I'm sorry as I know this is painful but it's time to block him because it is over. He has told you he has a new gf. You have to heal and knowing what is going on with them is going to keep you stuck in pain. Let go.

[William]

I originally showed up here to clean up some spam and noticed a full quote of the starting post in the first response so edited that but then noted someone mentioning a similar thread so looked into that and found we've merged a similar topic twice now so will politely request continuing this topic in this thread and this thread only. We have some guidance on posting guidelines at the top of each forum page for interested readers. Thanks and please continue!

[QueenDafine]

I originally showed up here to clean up some spam and noticed a full quote of the starting post in the first response so edited that but then noted someone mentioning a similar thread so looked into that and found we've merged a similar topic twice now so will politely request continuing this topic in this thread and this thread only. We have some guidance on posting guidelines at the top of each forum page for interested readers. Thanks and please continue!

 

I thought my post had been deleted so I kept writing it but now I just found out it's all here haha, thanks.

[QueenDafine]

This is why NC is so important. I don't understand, did you two tell each other that it was over?! Forget formalities or "closure," did the two of you say in some way, that it was over? You two had not communicated in a month, but you checked social media to check up on him? Your relationship status?

 

You need to move on....as he claims he has. You don't know if that other girl is "the one." He could be feeding you crap, especially after he's told you that he's never really been attracted to her. Sounds like a rebound to me.

 

Why in the world, after a month, did he feel the need to contact you AND tell you that he has moved on with a specific girl? I get the birthday wish...

 

Why, if you had hopes, did you wait for him???

 

I'm sorry if my post sounds harsh, but you need to move on. YOU.

 

 

 

Well, I had sort of pushed him a bit actually after our first conversation and asked if we really weren't together at all as I was at a party and close to hooking up with someone. We didn't say it was over from the start, it was literally a fight and then we didn't talk for a month, but I assume he just got sick of fighting and waiting and took the chance to completely leave me. I still had some hope myself and I wouldn't have even considered being with someone else in that month so it hurts a lot. I know he won't contact me again and I think he means it when he wants her, otherwise he wouldn't have even told me to find another guy and that he was happy with her and found love.

 

I'm questioning if he even loved me in the first place.

[QueenDafine]

That's quite a blow. I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible. I would, too, in your shoes.

 

A couple of things: First, don't put much stock in his claim that he has found someone "better," the woman that is his "one." You two have only been broken up a month. So how long have they been dating, a few weeks? He has no idea what he has--she could turn out to be the "one," or, they could be broken up in a few months' time. Also, if it's so great with her, he wouldn't be talking to you. Add to that the fact that he knew in the past that she had a crush on him and wasn't attracted to her, and I smell someone who went for the easy adoration because he didn't want to have to be alone after you two broke up.

 

To me your whole conversation sounds like you're both "posturing," trying to make it seem you're both doing well on your own and both moving on.

 

The second thing is that you say you were sick of him by the time you broke up. Follow that train of feeling for a bit. What about him made you feel sick of him? Focus on those things; they'll empower you by putting you in the seat of rejecting HIM, rather than him rejecting YOU.

 

And the last thought: if you want him back at all, speak up. Call him (no texting), and tell him what you want. Take control to achieve the outcome YOU desire, so that there will be no regrets.

 

I have some doubt as to thinking she would be a rebound as they were close friends and their families and friends are close too. I agree with posturing, on my part more; he's the type of guy who would feel good knowing I broke up with him and now I wanted him back, so I'd rather noit give him the satisfaction.

And I'd love to tell him I want him back but I know he can't leave this girl without consequences, and he wouldn't be the type to do that to her. I think he already had feelings for her somewhere from the start. Our relationship was a lot of work and drama but he was willing everytime to work through it, so I don't see him coming back now.

[QueenDafine]

ALSO mentioning that we don't live anywhere near each other and his new girl lives practically around the corner, his sister is best friends with her so she was literally probably at his house everyday. And they would have ben hanging out because they have almost all the same friends. I was friends with most of his friends, but we weren't close.

 

I think I've lost this fight already not matter how much we were in love, I'm not even there to show him how great we were when we were weren't thousands of miles away from each other.

[QueenDafine]

I made a stupid decision and broke up with my ex a month ago over something little. I thought we could work it out but two weeks later he had already moved on with a close friend of his I knew used to have a crush on him for years. He didn't tell me this until a week ago, he practically rubbed it in my face when he did, so I've been a mess since. I still love him, and I'm not sure if this relationship with this girl is something serious. I haven't messaged him since he told me and I don't plan to as he had seemed to have moved on. We were together for a year, he was my best friend and we were in love, he told me he'd never felt the way about anyone like he did with me, he practically begged me to not leave him and I did. And then he found another girl. He told me he moved on and he thought I would find someone better anyway; he wanted me to move on and find someone else.

 

I'd restrained myself from having sex or even kissing and talking to another man in hopes we'd work things out, all while he was cuddling up to this girl. But since I found this out, my friend made me get a tinder account and said I'd feel better. I did. I got so many messages and it was a little confident booster, and I figured what I needed was a few one nightstands to get over this.

 

So far I've hooked up with three different guys (please don't judge), but I've found that the good feeling only lasts a little while until you're back to feeling lonely and missing that person again. I'm not looking for anything serious on tinder, just something to get my mind off this person that I'm still in love with. I don't want to want go on dates at this point.

 

I just don't know how to get over him, hooking up with other guys is only a short lived medication to the pain I'm feeling. My friends have provided me great support but I'm thinking about this 24/7. I'm still young, and I'm worried that this will be one of those breakups you think about for the next ten years, the break up that's still in your mind and you haven't gotten over yet. Just need some advice on how to get over this and other people's experiences.

 

Thanks!

[Toodaloo]

Just need some advice on how to get over this and other people's experiences.

 

Thanks!

 

You take time out. Spend time with friends build your life up, do the things you enjoy doing, challenge yourself and look after yourself. Then when you are not feeling anything towards them any more you go out and start to date again.

Edited August 19, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Rude ~T