cannot forget her

[cud]

The title says it pretty clearly.

 

It has been 15months since I foudn she was cheating on me - while I was searching for house and we or maybe only me were wanting to have a family.

So things had gone wrong. I begged for few months cause she wasnt able to tell me a solid word how we standed that time - and of course she was testing the other guy, mostlikely.

 

I crushed down. I lost a sense of my life. It has been some time and I cannot forget on her. When I go running - I cry. I cry when I do almost everything where I am alone.

 

Read tons of threads, tons of advices and nothing works. My life is still aimless and my mind is more and more playing with the idea of me not finding a love again. Live without love sucks and it has no point. I am 31, I have always wanted to have a family - I have the feeling that maybe I am not the guy who should have it anymore. I have missed my time. My days are filled with very dark feelings. My heart weights millions tons and I can barry it anymore. Friend of mine is telling me I need to have faith - I used to have but I dont see any point here, I still think of her while she is having good time and me - the betrayed one - is getting down and down...**** that hurts.

 

I write here just to share my feelings. A year ago I was looking forward to these days that it ll be long enough and i will find a new love... but so far.. nothing at all.

[juniorrocha]

Read tons of threads, tons of advices and nothing works. My life is still aimless and my mind is more and more playing with the idea of me not finding a love again. Live without love sucks and it has no point. I am 31, I have always wanted to have a family - I have the feeling that maybe I am not the guy who should have it anymore. I have missed my time.

 

Read your own post again like someone else posted it. See how negative it is.

 

You're putting in your head that you will not find love again, that life is meaningless without someone to share it with you, and that you should just accept it. That's NOT true.

 

First of all, you have to learn that life without a partner IS enjoyable too. Find the happiness within. You can do it in many ways, by filling your days with things that are great for you. That will already make a big change on how people see you too.

 

There are so many things in life which you could enjoy. Family. Friends. Hobbies. Career/job. Dog. Travelling. Anything. But you have to have control over your life.

 

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship ended, but it's time to pick up the pieces and move on. Become a better version of you now. You can do it!

[Satu]

What do you think Shakespeare meant when he wrote this:

 

 

“Some grief shows much of love,

But much of grief shows still some want of wit.”

 

 

What do you think he was saying?

[stillafool]

Was this your first girlfriend? Are you going out with other girls now?

[cud]

What do you think Shakespeare meant when he wrote this:

 

 

“Some grief shows much of love,

But much of grief shows still some want of wit.”

 

 

What do you think he was saying?

 

I have no idea to be honest...

[cud]

Was this your first girlfriend? Are you going out with other girls now?

 

No it was second serious RS. But it was very deep. I do going out, I slept with many girls over the year but none of them I fell in love with...and to be honest I stopped to see them and to hunt them.. i have lost hope that I will find one...so I dont see any point to try even looking...

[cud]

Read your own post again like someone else posted it. See how negative it is.

 

You're putting in your head that you will not find love again, that life is meaningless without someone to share it with you, and that you should just accept it. That's NOT true.

 

First of all, you have to learn that life without a partner IS enjoyable too. Find the happiness within. You can do it in many ways, by filling your days with things that are great for you. That will already make a big change on how people see you too.

 

There are so many things in life which you could enjoy. Family. Friends. Hobbies. Career/job. Dog. Travelling. Anything. But you have to have control over your life.

 

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship ended, but it's time to pick up the pieces and move on. Become a better version of you now. You can do it!

 

Everyone keeps saying that!

 

Last year I have tryied everything. Medidation, yoga, I do sports as often as even possible, I´ve changed job, moved twice...nothing was working even I gave it some time cause I know that "Rome wasnt built in a day".

 

It is getting very hard.. dont know where to find this optimism that everyone is talking about, nothing, not even a spark is in the tunnel of my life.

Only one thing keeps me going - not to end it because of my family.

[juniorrocha]

Then if after all that time you're still going through that and you're even considering ending your life because of a failed relationship with someone who clearly disrespected you, you should try seeing a therapist.

 

You're not just grieving. You're insecure, low self-steem, negative, and dependent. You gotta find your way in life without needing someone.

 

Also, at this point maybe you're not missing your ex, but rather a relationship with someone, and the memories you have in your mind comes together with her, since she's your reference of relationship.

 

Just keep going, keep living your life, meet other girls, eventually someone will give you that special feeling. That's how it usually goes.

 

Still, please try therapy. I think it will be a great deal for you.

[sandylee1]

You are only 31 and that's young for a man. The one who cheated doesn't deserve any part of you......and you need to not let a cheater like her ruin you.

 

I don't know what part of the world you're in, but most places I know, women are the ones looking for a good man.

 

I've been hurt in love before and what go me through it, was telling myself this person wasn't going to make me sad forever. That just because he hurt me didn't mean I wouldn't find another man who would treat me right. Why would he go off and live happily, while I spent every waking moment reeling from the hurt and crying my eyes out.

 

That's what got me through it. Knowing I deserved better.

[cud]

You are only 31 and that's young for a man. The one who cheated doesn't deserve any part of you......and you need to not let a cheater like her ruin you.

 

I don't know what part of the world you're in, but most places I know, women are the ones looking for a good man.

 

I've been hurt in love before and what go me through it, was telling myself this person wasn't going to make me sad forever. That just because he hurt me didn't mean I wouldn't find another man who would treat me right. Why would he go off and live happily, while I spent every waking moment reeling from the hurt and crying my eyes out.

 

That's what got me through it. Knowing I deserved better.

 

I am from the Czech Republic.

 

Thank you for uplifting words, it is good to see also other side of the spectrum - from women. I kind of lost my hope for nice women being out there.

 

Thats what I have been asking why is it always like that that the one who cheated - did something disrespectful and meaningful, someone who lied to someone who would die for him/her - is always good and happy right after the "event" and the other is crushed down to his/her knees. Hopefully it has some message in it for the future.

 

Thanks!

[cud]

The other day I was clearing my email account and found emails from this page and other pages I was contibuting that time.

 

It has been 3 years and little bit more since the break up I was writing in here and going through these threads after such time I have to say I am little bit ashamed of how I behave. Such a desperate human being just because of one girl...? It is not worthy, although probably the road is worthy. I say I am being ashamed but to be honest thats not the right word for it. I appreciete that times - it is part of me and i dont hide it from anyone - if someone ask me .

 

And the story of the last 3 years? It was crazy.

 

1st year - a lost man. Totally. I was begging for reconciliation adn had only that girl on my mind. Total broke.

2nd year I was getting better, i was seing other women and most of all I started to have respect in me - again. Took up some new hobbies - learn instrument and estabilished a band which was my dream all my live. Took up calisthenics as hobby and got some muscles on me. Got back my confidence back and I was just dating and enjoying life again. Found a young girl, she was pretty nice but it didnt somehow work - so i went further no matter what - today she is pregnant with my child .

 

Nowadays I have been with this girl who seems to me the right one - dont get me wrong - it is not the love we would post it on facebook or insta, but we very much respect each other, we laugh together and time to time I have enough of her and need to get out of the flat . Thats what my imagination of being with person always looked like. I also know that she doesnt belong to me or anyone else. It is how it is right now and thats important, it could and it would change with the time as everything else on this planet. It would be even better - who knows? I dont. She is about to be in labor next days and I am looking forward to our child. Thats all. simple as that.

 

I want to say that no matter what, you will be fine, it is only up to you.

 

And my ex? I have her on my mind time to time when I go arounf her work place for instance. For me it is a end story. She did what she did and in my head ishe is just lost person. Maybe in real world she is the best - i dont know - maybe she changed - only what I know is I dont care...

 

I remember that when I was desperate I was looking for some cheer up story - and didnt believe that something good could happen to me. And you know what? With a lot of work on myself - it actually did!

 

So keep on going it will get better!

[Nukem]

I am very happy for you

I am also from Europe. Got divorced 7 years ago and still regret for my mistakes and immaturity. I feel I will never stop regret.

 

Wish you best