Sincerly-KK Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 HI guys, this is my first post so I'll introduce myself a little, I am 28 years old I have one child that 7 and I been with my husband for 10 yrs married for 7, well his 30th birthday was Saturday I already knew that he was going to hang out with his friends, none of his friends are married or in relationship so I was already a little upset about him hanging with them, he came home around 5:00 am I don't know what in the world he did but I do know he went to a strip club and then after he went to the beach, at first he lied to me saying all he did was stay at his friends house, I am really upset about this whole situations because first of all why the hell is he coming home 5:00 I'm the morning only thing out at that time is woman, he said he didn't do anything I asked him to swear and at first he didn't, I actually called him maybe three times while he was at the beach and he didn't answer his phone, he said he didn't hear it ring. I don't know if I'm being insecure about this whole situation..... What should I do, also he had two female numbers in his call log with no name and when I asked him about it he said the a girl used his phone too call her friend Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 First off, get tested for STDs. He is obviously lying and you need to protect yourself. Than ask yourself why you are in a marriage with a man who spends a major landmark birthday acting like a single man and not with his family? 10 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 (edited) OP, within the framework of your original post, you're overreacting IMHO. Was it good husband behavior? No, but it doesn't mean he was having a threesome either. There can be 2 celebrations for a birthday. The G-rated one with the wife and family, and the one with friends.They do not have to be mutually exclusive. There are a lot of BS's here that have let's say a "more suspicious" take on things. Be wary of the prodding to blow up your marriage. This situation warrants some more...discreet...investigation, but if he seems a faithful committed man who has not given you any other reason to doubt him, forgive him...this time. Edited August 15, 2016 by standtall 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 There are a lot of BS's here that have let's say a "more suspicious" take on things. Be wary of the prodding to blow up your marriage. This situation warrants some more...discreet...investigation, but if he seems a faithful committed man who has not given you any other reason to doubt him, forgive him...this time. Agreed. We'd have to understand this within the context of his ongoing behavior. Is "out til 5am, don't answer phone, strange girls numbers" a normal occurrence for him? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sincerly-KK Posted August 16, 2016 Author Share Posted August 16, 2016 He is actually always in the house every weekend with me and my daughter, but There have been a couple of times when he do go out he will get different woman numbers but that haven't happen in maybe 2 yrs or so. I am not mad that he came home at 5am I am more upset that he lied about where he was at, it was obvious that he we at the beach he had sand all over him when he got home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sincerly-KK Posted August 16, 2016 Author Share Posted August 16, 2016 (edited) BTW he said he didn't know the people he went to the beach a with besides his two friends that he was with... Edited August 16, 2016 by Sincerly-KK Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 There isn't direct evidence of any kind of affair or outright cheating here yet, but I do think this was disrespectful and irresponsible behavior for a married man. If my wife was out whooping and hollering and hitting the beach with some single chicks and going to the beach until 5 am with guys we didn't know, I would have a real issue with that and the would be a little ' come-to-Jesus' meeting on acceptable behavior. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Why wouldn't he want to spend his birthday with you and his child? Yes, he is definitely up to something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Spouses are supposed to spend birthdays with each other. It's even more worrisome that your husband has other women's phone numbers in his call logs when he goes out on these frat boy outings. Be careful. He sounds immature and sneaky. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Even at 28 this is very irresponsible behavior for a married man. I am not saying that he is cheating be there are red flags with his behavior. Shirt is right, you have to set him down and have a Come-To-Jesus meeting with him. If he wants to act single then get single and he can pay child support and alimony. You are too you to allow this to go on in a marriage that you care about. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Even at 28 this is very irresponsible behavior for a married man. I am not saying that he is cheating be there are red flags with his behavior. Shirt is right, you have to set him down and have a Come-To-Jesus meeting with him. If he wants to act single then get single and he can pay child support and alimony. You are too you to allow this to go on in a marriage that you care about. Good luck... Agreed, he is not acting like a married man, and while you do not have direct evidence of cheating, he is on a path to. You both need to talk and he needs to listen to you, or later it will be before a Judge, as a stranger decides how much time he should have with his kids, how much he will pay, as you work to make a new life with someone new. A stark picture, to be sure. I wish you luck...... Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Ill post from the other side of the fence. Sounds like he's home an aweful lot, or "always in the house" as you put it. So he goes out for his 30th and paints the town with his boys. Does a couple things that made you purse her lips. Meh, did he do NO wrong that night? No probably not. Did he do relationship killing or even relationship evaluating type actions that night? No probably not. Two things come to mind... First, a hannibal buress joke in which his SO is mad at him coming home at 5am "first off quit focusing on the time! You realize i can do horrible ish and still make it home by 7:30pm?" Which is completely true, many BS here can tell you. Btw, i can think of loads of fun things to do out till 5am. None of them are cheating on my wife or have anything to do with girls at all for that matter. Second, i dont know of any rule stating you have got to spend your birthday with family. If he is home all the time and doesn't go out much. He is already spending a lot of time with you and his family. A one off birthday celebration night away from the family isnt really that big a deal and imo nothing to get mad about at all. Im sure everyone in the world has had a birthday get together on a day that wasnt their birthday. So celebrate with family another day. Is it really that big a deal? This has nothing to do with maturity level as some have suggested. Sheesh! Now saying all that isnt to say you have no reason to be mad. Go ahead and be a little ticked off. I just wouldnt put much into this. Seems like an awefully useless fight to invest any emotion in to. Voice your displeasure about his lie, but dont make him feel bad for having a night out if he never goes out and is "always home every weekend" Maybe the bar closed, he and his friends weren't done drinking and carrying on, so they grabbed some beers and went to the beach and got a fire going. Totally sounds like something I would do anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 I'd be fine with my husband going out on his birthday with friends. Even if he came back late, but I wouldn't be okay with other women's numbers on his phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 I'm wondering how he found a chick with no phone and why she didn't use his single buddies' phones. But I don't necessarily think he cheated. I would be pissed, tho. Link to post Share on other sites
FrenchToast Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 (edited) Hi OP I have been in a situation similar to this but I was not married and did not have any children. The situation does sound fishy and he did lie. He may not have done anything and it could be one of those situations where they lied because they thought you would get mad. That kind of logic always confuses me but that's what I always heard. I tell people a million times that I would rather have the horrible truth than a lie. Many people will disagree with me and say that you shouldn't snoop because you should trust your partner, but if you have a feeling in your gut - keep silent and keep an eye out for suspicious activity. What I mean about keeping silent is don't keep bringing something up because you will only annoy him and anger him and you may get more lies. I only found out because I was going through our home voicemail and deleting all the messages when I came across one left by a woman. I was so upset that my gut feeling was right. Edited August 18, 2016 by FrenchToast Link to post Share on other sites
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