What did you do with the rings?

[TennisGal]

A friend mentioned that she continued to wear her wedding and engagement rings for a year after her divorce was final, because she felt she was "unavailable" until she recovered.

 

Neither my STBX nor myself are interested in looking around for new partners at this time (or anytime soon). I am 61 and he is 65. Maybe continuing to wear the rings isn't such a bad idea?

 

You?

[dklaw]

When my parents divorced my dad left his on "because it had always been there" and my mom moved the rings to the other hand. After a few years both had removed them totally. The divorced peacefully.

 

My sister divorced her husband, she threw the rings at him.

[Mr. Lucky]

Had a similar thread not to long ago:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/586617-what-did-you-do-ring

 

Mr. Lucky

[planning4later]

A friend mentioned that she continued to wear her wedding and engagement rings for a year after her divorce was final, because she felt she was "unavailable" until she recovered.

 

Neither my STBX nor myself are interested in looking around for new partners at this time (or anytime soon). I am 61 and he is 65. Maybe continuing to wear the rings isn't such a bad idea?

 

You?

 

I wore mine until the official day of divorce when judge decreed it. I was waiting for an apology by ex wife for kicking my ass while I was asleep. Never got one. So I kept the ring on until day of divorce, even though she took hers off the day she left. I also didn't want to be accused of having an affair so that's another reason I left it on. Men have to be perfect and keep their guard up.

[Miss Clavel]

i took my rings off when i heard about the cheating. my ring finger was indented from the wide bands and you could see that i'd worn a ring there, for years.

 

so i bought myself a garnet and diamond ring to go over the defect.

 

i asked him for the wedding band i gave him at the wedding and he refused to give it back. he still will not give it back. he says it's safe.

 

once in awhile i take the rings out and wear them around the house. i like both my rings and i'm keeping them even tho the orphans don't want them. blood diamonds they call them.

 

for the record, a lady always returns an engagement ring if the marriage does not take place. it's a law. you can look it up.

 

i have all the mementos from my wedding day. all in one box, including a valuable cake topper, a set of pearl hair combs and a small album of photos.

 

 

i can not see why you would not keep the photos if you have children. my mother in law gave me a set of metal plates you put in a viewer, her wedding photos to my orphans grandfather. she remarried 8 years after her husband jumped off a bridge.

 

even tho i thought it was a weird thing to give to me since i'm not her blood and that marriage was so unhappy. i've still got them.

 

because the people in the photos go back generations and because no one else will take them off my hands.

[rainbowchaser]

My husband and I separated a few months ago. I am still wearing mine. I initiated the break up and I know it will eventually result in divorce but I just can't deal with the finality of it all. I am in serious denial.

 

I too have indents on my finger from wearing a band and engagement ring for over 15 years. It will feel weird to look down at my hand one day and no longer see those rings there.

[aileD]

for the record, a lady always returns an engagement ring if the marriage does not take place. it's a law. you can look it up.

 

Wrong. An engagement ring is a promise to marry. If you don't actually marry then it should be given back. If the marriage happens, that fulfills the promise and the ring is yours to do whatever with.

 

My husband and I are separated due to his cheating. I wear his ring on my ring finger under mine. I don't think I'd take them off until we are actually divorced. And then I would keep them for my children. On my 21st birthday my mother gave me a pendant that was her engagement ring to my dad (they'd been divorced for years).

[TennisGal]

He hasn't moved out yet; he rented a place for October. And he has been in denial. But last night, he left his wedding ring on my bed (I'm living in the guest room).

 

I had not planned on giving him my wedding ring -- why would he want it? It's a plain gold 2mm band.

[PegNosePete]

Send it to gold 4 you dot com or whatever.

 

Try to find one that won't rip you off. Good luck with that.

[KBarletta]

I wore my ring for about six months after separation, until the day I saw my exW with her other man in public. Took the ring off that day and haven't looked at it since. Divorce was final about nine months after that.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I took off my ring the day after our separation began. Never looked back. Divorce came about a year later b/c ex couldn't agree to terms, schedule and holding onto what was over long before the separation.

[springy]

Wrong. An engagement ring is a promise to marry. If you don't actually marry then it should be given back. If the marriage happens, that fulfills the promise and the ring is yours to do whatever with.

 

My husband and I are separated due to his cheating. I wear his ring on my ring finger under mine. I don't think I'd take them off until we are actually divorced. And then I would keep them for my children. On my 21st birthday my mother gave me a pendant that was her engagement ring to my dad (they'd been divorced for years).

 

Maybe I interpreted incorrectly but I think that's pretty much what the poster you quoted said?

 

OP, I pawned mine. Got $350 for it. It was a good day.

[Lobe]

I wore them as toe rings...

[aileD]

Maybe I interpreted incorrectly but I think that's pretty much what the poster you quoted said?

 

OP, I pawned mine. Got $350 for it. It was a good day.

 

 

Yes hats correct . I do t k ow why I read r wrong lol !!!

[PegNosePete]

Maybe I interpreted incorrectly but I think that's pretty much what the poster you quoted said?

The poster before said it's the law and you can look it up.

 

It might be the morally right thing to do but it certainly isn't the law in many parts of the world.

 

Even when it is "the law" as you may have seen on Judge Judy, this area of law is open to interpretation and many other judges would say the ring was given as a gift and legally belongs to the woman even if the marriage does not proceed. There is no signed contract stating it will be returned if the marriage doesn't go ahead. It would be considered an assumed contract by the man, and the woman could equally state that she assumed it was a gift.

 

So yeah whilst most neutral parties would probably say the ring is based on a promise and should be returned if the promise falls through, sometimes (especially when a woman is scorned) she will say no you can't have it back, and there will be precious little the man can do.

Edited August 25, 2016 by PegNosePete

[Toodaloo]

The poster before said it's the law and you can look it up.

 

It might be the morally right thing to do but it certainly isn't the law in many parts of the world.

 

Even when it is "the law" as you may have seen on Judge Judy, this area of law is open to interpretation and many other judges would say the ring was given as a gift and legally belongs to the woman even if the marriage does not proceed. There is no signed contract stating it will be returned if the marriage doesn't go ahead. It would be considered an assumed contract by the man, and the woman could equally state that she assumed it was a gift.

 

So yeah whilst most neutral parties would probably say the ring is based on a promise and should be returned if the promise falls through, sometimes (especially when a woman is scorned) she will say no you can't have it back, and there will be precious little the man can do.

 

Peg Nose is right. In many places it is not "law".

 

In the UK it was traditional for the woman to return the ring but the man to then buy her silk gloves to "hide her shame" when an engagement was broken...

 

Never been married but most people I know who have been divorced just stuffed their rings in the drawer behind their odd socks and old passports...

[Popsicle]

I took my ring off as soon as we separated. I still have the ring. It's stuffed in an old drawer. I always thought I'd take the diamond and buy another and make them into earrings or something but I can't afford that.

[NHappy]

A friend mentioned that she continued to wear her wedding and engagement rings for a year after her divorce was final, because she felt she was "unavailable" until she recovered.

 

Neither my STBX nor myself are interested in looking around for new partners at this time (or anytime soon). I am 61 and he is 65. Maybe continuing to wear the rings isn't such a bad idea?

 

You?

 

I flushed my ring when my husband threatened to use one of my sister's medical histories against me, a long time ago. Out of every dumb decision I have made, it has been one I will not regret. But, I had to buy a stand in for family gatherings, because his family is probably encompassed of the most judgmental (and many times, inaccurately) people I have met.

 

I think having a 'stand in' ring (mine was $20 or so) is a good idea, especially if you aren't ready to date yet and DREAD divulging details of what is going on through your most difficult times. I recommend pawning what you have and spending the money on pampering yourself, with a cheap CZ for dire situations to remind you that he is not the one for you.

[Miss Clavel]

Wrong. An engagement ring is a promise to marry. If you don't actually marry then it should be given back. If the marriage happens, that fulfills the promise and the ring is yours to do whatever with.

 

My husband and I are separated due to his cheating. I wear his ring on my ring finger under mine. I don't think I'd take them off until we are actually divorced. And then I would keep them for my children. On my 21st birthday my mother gave me a pendant that was her engagement ring to my dad (they'd been divorced for years).

 

Quote:

for the record, a lady always returns an engagement ring if the marriage does not take place. it's a law. you can look it up.