skywriter Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 (edited) Ok, I understand, and, not judging, just considering , that he is conflict avoiding, trying to please others, so with you, he might be feeling this is something , all for himself. Just more for you to consider, and I imagine your thoughts rarely slow down, wondering what to expect from this affair. It's as stressful as it is exciting, such an unhealthy dynamic. I feel bad for you and his wife. Edited August 18, 2016 by skywriter Link to post Share on other sites
hestheone66 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Did you find your feelings for him intensified when you realised he was taken? The reason i ask is that you mentioned not being struck by someone since Uni and that in the beginning things were very casual. Sometimes if we are scared of commitment we allow ourselves to fall for unavailable people as we don't have to confront what we would need to give up. I know this from experience 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author olivkazp Posted August 20, 2016 Author Share Posted August 20, 2016 Ok, I understand, and, not judging, just considering , that he is conflict avoiding, trying to please others, so with you, he might be feeling this is something , all for himself. Just more for you to consider, and I imagine your thoughts rarely slow down, wondering what to expect from this affair. It's as stressful as it is exciting, such an unhealthy dynamic. I feel bad for you and his wife. Well, I just heard from him that he is ready to divorce his wife just to be with me, uhm, he is ready for divorce no matter what. This all is so difficult, I don't know what to expect anymore. I should be happy, I'll get a man that I fell in love with... But it'll hurt his wife. I don't know, I feel like I should slow down. Just wait and see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author olivkazp Posted August 20, 2016 Author Share Posted August 20, 2016 Did you find your feelings for him intensified when you realised he was taken? The reason i ask is that you mentioned not being struck by someone since Uni and that in the beginning things were very casual. Sometimes if we are scared of commitment we allow ourselves to fall for unavailable people as we don't have to confront what we would need to give up. I know this from experience Nope, my feelings intensified before I found out he's married. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 I never asked him about it, we never talked about it either, I think there is something wrong with his marriage and he just doesn't want to tell me. There must be a reason why he doesn't act as a proper husband. Olive: there is definitely something wrong with his marriage. He's in it. There is definitely a reason why he doesn't act as a proper husband. He isn't one. You are being given good advice here, but you're not ready to hear it. Cheating is one thing. Cheating when you're a newlywed is something else. And cheating on a pregnant spouse is in a category all its own. I assume you don't yet have children, so you may not understand how vulnerable a pregnant woman is. Your MM is a creep. A selfish, lying, craptastic creep. You'll figure that out when you're ready. Hopefully it won't take too long., 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author olivkazp Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) It's me again, stupid, naive me. We continued to see each other, it was nice and everything but I can't lie to myself anymore that he will leave his wife for me I lied to myself that I will keep my feelings away, nope... Impossible. I fell harder and deeper. He continued to take advantage of me, I let him. It all looked so perfect, his sweet and kind words, he was saying everything I wanted to hear. He keeps asking me if I took my pill, he's so scared of me getting pregnant. This has opened my eyes that he has no intention of leaving his wife and all he wants from me is my body. It was hard to admit.... I care about him, I know he is selfish and he cares of his business the most. I know that having me is an ego boost, I know he is throwing the crumbs of his time and emotions even if we spend 50% of his time together. I know THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. I miss him like crazy when we don't talk or see each other, I was very upset during Christmas. I'm not the one and I will never be... I know this is wrong and I would like to end it but for some reason I CAN'T. Why can't I?? Why do I still chose to be around this toxic person? What does he do to me that I let him to destroy me? Even if I have a feeling this is going no where, I still continue to see him. Why? I ignore every other man for him, I want him for myself... But it will never happen will it? Why is it so difficult to get over this man??? Why he just won't dump me!! It'd be much, much easier..... Why am I so blind? Edited January 5, 2017 by olivkazp Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Even if he dumps you, you'll go back. You're weak, and you know that. You need NC. You need family and friends to get over him. Remember how you felt over the holidays? Multiply by 10 over Valentines Day, birthdays, more holidays. It will get worst. Tell his wife about the affair, he'll dump you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Onlywhenitrains Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 The only way out is to go NC, and stick with it. It will suck, it will hurt, it will probably make you cry for days and months like you never cried before. But, after some time it will slowly start to become easier and easier. You can do it only if you really want to dig yourself out of the deep, big, dark, hole the A is. Trust me, I know. You are the one. Not for him, but for a single guy who will love you and cherish you as you deserve. And most certainly, he is NOT the one for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author olivkazp Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 Ok, he's blocked. We'll see how long for... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 It's me again, stupid, naive me. We continued to see each other, it was nice and everything but I can't lie to myself anymore that he will leave his wife for me I lied to myself that I will keep my feelings away, nope... Impossible. I fell harder and deeper. He continued to take advantage of me, I let him. It all looked so perfect, his sweet and kind words, he was saying everything I wanted to hear. He keeps asking me if I took my pill, he's so scared of me getting pregnant. This has opened my eyes that he has no intention of leaving his wife and all he wants from me is my body. It was hard to admit.... I care about him, I know he is selfish and he cares of his business the most. I know that having me is an ego boost, I know he is throwing the crumbs of his time and emotions even if we spend 50% of his time together. I know THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. I miss him like crazy when we don't talk or see each other, I was very upset during Christmas. I'm not the one and I will never be... I know this is wrong and I would like to end it but for some reason I CAN'T. Why can't I?? Why do I still chose to be around this toxic person? What does he do to me that I let him to destroy me? Even if I have a feeling this is going no where, I still continue to see him. Why? I ignore every other man for him, I want him for myself... But it will never happen will it? Why is it so difficult to get over this man??? Why he just won't dump me!! It'd be much, much easier..... Why am I so blind? How about YOU dump him. Then get yourself into counseling. you're very broken and allowing a cheating MM to lies to you and manipulates you rule your life. Get strong and find that love for yourself so you can finally rid of him!! GET MAD and end it. You want a family and a husband of your own some day right? It won't be him. He's taken and has no intention of leaving his wife and family for you. He may say he will, but the fact he goes home to his wife and lives life with her daily shows you what's what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Ok, he's blocked. We'll see how long for... Get ready for a world of Pain. But you got this. Come here to vent. Link to post Share on other sites
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