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always being the crutch


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i dont think anyone has fallen in love with me for who i am.. men always seem to calm, relax and be comforted in my company, and be attracted to me physically. yet i always find out there's always someone they desire more... and when that someone gives them the time of day then im overlooked until this other woman disappears.

 

i thought the person i was dating was different, but as it seems history repeats itself.

 

im so sick of it. and heartbroken and worthless. i guess next week im breaking up.

 

im so tired of being taken for granted. in all my relationships, in all aspects of life. i think im just meant to be lonely always, but what kind of joyless life is this?

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Springsummer

No sex before marriage seems very old schooled, but it has its merit.

 

That way, women are ensured they are not being used.

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I agree with the poster above in this instance since this keeps happening to you. You've got to set some standards and not just fall into their arms because they're there. You need to expect more from them to weed out the ones leaning on you. Like, don't open the door if they just show up. Don't go out with them if they call at the last minute. Say 'Sorry, I already have plans." Don't assume it's a relationship if they're not taking you on real dates and paying for dates at least part of the time. Don't be afraid to ask them if their heart is elsewhere or afraid to find out if they're "dating around."

 

But set some rules and stick to them. Good luck.

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the thing is that all these people spent a lot of time with me, made plans, and treated me like a girlfriend... and we waited for quite some time to be intimate (in my last it was 2 months, more than 8 dates). nothing looked like a booty call. they kept saying how great i make them feel, how wonderful i am. and at the same time they have feelings for someone else who isnt available. but of course i find that out myself.

 

it scares me how i cant rely on anybody to tell the truth. ever.

 

i brokeup today and my ex broke down. i was honest and confronted him. and even though he assured me that he has no feelings for this person, that he only wants me. that he s afraid he ll never feel the way he feels around me again. i wanted to believe it, but i just cant. words are nice, but they re just words. and having a person crying in front of me doesnt make me feel better either.

 

i know what my mistake is. its not accepting being a booty call but being attracted to low self esteem people. i have issues myself, i always feel that i have to DO things in order for people to love me, and who needs love more than a low self esteem, emotionally hungry person? just like myself.

 

"love yourself" yadda yadda yadda

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Well, maybe you need to ask that "ex" question right away, after maybe the 2nd date. Some of it is just bad luck, so maybe the next one won't have that issue. But meanwhile, do not feed into it by being sympathetic if they cry on your shoulder about it. Then they think you're mostly friends and it doesn't bother you.

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