mallory.song Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 I have work tomorrow morning, but I'm such a wreck right now. [backstory] He emotionally cheated on me 3 years ago. I dumped him like yesterday's garbage afterwards. We were together for about a year, but we both knew each other for much longer than that. This was a rough break up on both sides. I completely cut off contact with him afterwards and we reconnected a year after when he texted me. I met him once for coffee through those texts, but after observing him, I realized going back to him would be a mistake. He broke my heart and I didn't think he changed in the ways that mattered. I decided to go no-contact again. He would send me messages but I didn't respond. To be fair, I did answer the courteous "thank you" when he wished me well on holidays now and then, but didn't respond to anything else . BTW, I changed numbers (not because of him, but hey, it kills two birds with one stone) and deleted all my social media accounts so my email is his only link to me. Over a year of no response to his messages, he got really frustrated and sent me a long message as a farewell, that he apparently wanted to show me he changed but now that I didn't want to have anything to do with him he got that it was good bye for life and he wished me a good life. Okay. [Present] Now after over a year and a half since he sent that message, out of the blue, he sent me an email on my birthday with a drawing of me (He draws for a living). Yes, it's flattering, but it also freaked me out. I blocked him a long time ago, but he either created a new email account or used an alternate one that he already had to contact me. Also, he sent the email to 3 of my email addresses (I have two others), in the middle of the night. He says he still thinks about me even now and that he hopes I'm doing well. So my emotions are pretty screwed up right now. It's been three (3) years and I was (or at least I thought I was?) doing well with my life and I thought I completely moved on, but this goddamned email just opened up a ****load of floodgates. I'm trying to drink/smoke it off, but it's just not happening. After all this time, I'm so affected by this like I still have feelings. Do I? Common sense is telling me I need to move on if I have any self-respect. But my mind's playing some Olympian-level of mental gymnastics to tell myself that it's gonna be beautiful this time. I'm confused. TL;DR - Ex-BF wishes me happy birthday after over a year of NC. What am I supposed to read from this email? I'm not sure how I should respond to him. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 What is your dating life like right now? If you're not really dating or things aren't going well, that might be why you feel a bit giddy about this message from your ex. You miss having that type of affection from a person, which is normal. I'd need more details of what he did to make you break up with him in the first place, but this email seems like he's trying to get back in good graces with you. It's up to you what you want to do about it. Do you want to try again with him because you sincerely care for him or do you want to try because he's giving you the type of attention you haven't been getting lately? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mallory.song Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 (edited) Hi JewelD, Yeah, I'm not really dating. Long answer: the first year, I declined dates because I don't believe in moving on through rebounds. The second year I prioritized work and buried myself in it because it was an intensive job that required 60 hrs/week. Currently, I'm being asked out/set up by people but I quickly lose interest after the first date. This is a whole other story. I'd need more details of what he did to make you break up with him in the first place Oh boy here we go... I'm reading that old thread and cringing hard. I would write the story again here with a calmer, distanced perspective, but a) I'm lazy and b) going down that road reopens my traumas. It's up to you what you want to do about it. It really is, and I keep going in circles. I did love him when I was with him, but after what happened, I had to pull the rug abruptly and tried hard not to look back. But here I am. Edited August 17, 2016 by mallory.song Link to post Share on other sites
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