question on fooling around

[Jessica]

ok, i have a question on virginity. if a guy and you are really making out and decide to fondle eachother, and he goes and, well, uses his finger on you(?), and you bleed after it, doe sthat mean you lost your virginity? im really confused about this. thanks to anyone who can help.

[Tony T]

That's a really good question and there's probably two ways of looking at it.

 

If the hymen is broken, it's broken. That means that the hymen is broken, that's all. In the more commonly accepted meaning of losing your virginity, I think that happens when you actually have intercourse.

 

I've always considered the meaning of a female virgin as a lady who had not yet been with a man, not one whose hymen was still in place.

 

So there may be a medical answer for your question but there is also a social answer as well. My vote is if the hymen is broken by a doctor, by a finger, by an accident or whatever, you are still a virgin.

 

But YOU are going to have to be the one to decide here. I wouldn't even go with the opinion of a sage or expert. You decide for yourself. Whatever you want to be.

[Ashesmum]

I agree with Tony to a point, but if you have a guy sticking whatever (finger, penis, cigar) that far up there, what's the difference in having sex. You're "virginity" is just the thought of your first sexual intercourse with another.

That's a really good question and there's probably two ways of looking at it. If the hymen is broken, it's broken. That means that the hymen is broken, that's all. In the more commonly accepted meaning of losing your virginity, I think that happens when you actually have intercourse. I've always considered the meaning of a female virgin as a lady who had not yet been with a man, not one whose hymen was still in place. So there may be a medical answer for your question but there is also a social answer as well. My vote is if the hymen is broken by a doctor, by a finger, by an accident or whatever, you are still a virgin. But YOU are going to have to be the one to decide here. I wouldn't even go with the opinion of a sage or expert. You decide for yourself. Whatever you want to be.

[BONZ]

Sounds like he popped your cherry and didn't even get the real thing! Might as well do it and get it over with.

ok, i have a question on virginity. if a guy and you are really making out and decide to fondle eachother, and he goes and, well, uses his finger on you(?), and you bleed after it, doe sthat mean you lost your virginity? im really confused about this. thanks to anyone who can help.

[Jackie]

Hey Tony,

But YOU are going to have to be the one to decide here. I wouldn't even go with the opinion of a sage or expert. You decide for yourself. Whatever you want to be.

after 3 kids, can I still be a virgin????

[LoveAngel]

WHOA!

Sounds like he popped your cherry and didn't even get the real thing! Might as well do it and get it over with.

Fooling around and experimenting with each other in a comfortable way and having intercourse are two completely separate things. The hymen can be broken in a number of ways and can often happen without any sexual contact, such as from participation in athletics.

 

The choice to go ahead and have sex is a big one. Your "virginity" can be something special that only you possess, but in the end, you are the one who has to live with the consequences of any action you choose to.

 

Having intercourse (sex) should never ever be something that needs you should "do and get it over with." You'll only regret it in the end. Make sure you're ready and should you decide to go ahead and explore each other further, please make sure you sit down and talk to your boyfriend when you're not in the middle of fooling around. You should each determine what's comfortable for each of you and neither of you should feel any pressure to do something you're not ready for.

 

BONZ's comment was completely irresponsible and I suggest you ignore it.

 

Best wishes,

 

LoveAngel