What is with my ex?

[figgurinoutlife]

In my last post my ex came to my door and said her life was going downhill, and she was having problems with her boyfriend.

 

History (for anyone new) - I did 2 months of NC with her so I could heal and she broke it weeks ago, but when she did she was bitter with me.

 

Her and her boyfriend made up and are happy now.

Well she has been calling me every other day. Couple days ago she called and we chatted and I told her I was going to K.C. to a club and going w/ a friend and taking her out to eat and shopping and she got kind of upset saying that I never did that with her. She called me last night wanting me to come to where she works so she could show me something (she works in a porn shop). I tell her I'm tired and going to bed and she tells me to sleep well and have a good night.

 

I'm going out to my car to go to work this afternoon and she pulls up w/her boyfriend (we live in the same apt. complex) and she flips me off (jokingly of course) and she gets out and tells me to come over to her car and she shows me pictures of her new puppy she just got, and asks me what she should name it. Her boyfriend is in the driver's seat and I say hi to him and act very cool around them both and not upset or emotional at all. My ex then asks what time I have to be at work and I say 5, and she makes a comment that I used to be late alot because of "something else" that we used to do before I went to work. She was talking about us both having sex of course. Her boyfriend acted nice the whole time and not upset or anything and even asked to see my keyring.

 

Then she shows me her new tattoos she got, and their matching tattoos (a pair of wings on her back and her boyfriend had a pair right below his shoulders). My ex didn't tell her boyfriend to show me his wings, but he did anyway. I said "yeah, those are cool" and my ex didn't think I would like them. I still played it cool.

 

I then leave for work and she calls my cellphone 3 min. later asking me if I liked the picture of the puppy and then comments that her other ex-boyfriend is emailing her every day and that another former guy fling is trying to butt into her current relationship. I didn't really know what to say to that so I just listened and made comments here and there.

 

 

My ex then said if she could come up to work and show me the puppy, and I said "sure." Her and her boyfriend came up later and my ex looked very nice. So we have a few laughs and I hold the puppy. She jokes around w/me and I joke around sarcastically back, then she starts feeding her boyfriend fries in a playful way. She makes fun of me jokingly but in a little obnoxious way (that is always the way we joked around when we were close). I said I had to go get back to work, and I went back inside.

 

Well, we are talking and she is nice to me now and I acted very friendly like nothing that she did or said bothered me (with her boyfriend there and all).

 

I don't know what to make of her behavior? Can anyone analyze if for me? What does she want?

[shygurl]

Your ex is nutjob, the whole thing is bizarre. Why would she bring her boyfriend around to your place to show you pics of a puppy...and make the suggestive comments she did to you, with him right there? (the sex reference, which was pretty obvious what she was referring to). Her boyfriend ain't too bright, either.

 

Leave her be, totally and completely. She's your ex for a reason. She's getting a thrill out of flaunting her boyfriend and exes in your face. She's playing headgames with you and not even very smart ones. She sounds extremely immature and nutty.

 

Go back to No Contact - immediately. There is nothing positive to gain here by remaining in contact with such a flakey chick - not only does she have no respect for you, she has none for her current boyfriend.

 

Don't take her calls anymore, don't have any form of communication - the next time she contacts you, tell her very nicely but firmly that you're no longer in a relationship, she's with someone......you've moved on with your life and you don't want to maintain any kind of connection - you don't want to hear about her stupid relationship problems (how tacky of her to tell you such things, not to mention cruel), you don't want to see her amazing tattoo collection, you don't want to see pics of her puppy, you don't want her to be coming around to your workplace to see you, you don't want anything to do with her, period..........and she needs to respect that.

 

I take it that she was the one to end things with you?

 

What ages are you both?

 

How long had you been together?

 

Why did your relationship with her end?

[figgurinoutlife]

We sort of broke up mutually last July but remained friends w/benefits up until March. I wanted to get back w/her, but she didn't want to so I went into NC.

 

She is 21, and I am 26.

 

Our relationship ended because I had some things to get sorted out and the relationship was one-sided because I wasn't putting enough effort into it because of my problems. I am now great relationship material and she knows it.

 

I had 2 months of strict NC to get my head cleared out then she started calling little by little, and sounding very bitter and not nice and calling for dumb reasons. She finally came to my door almost in tears asking how I can go for 2 months without calling her and just forgetting about her and that her life has gone downhill. She said I was her "rock" and she had no one to turn to after I left. I explained to her that I needed to heal and get over her and move on, and I explained many times when she started calling again and at my door that I was over her and had moved on. She asked me to help her get her life in order again and be there for her and I said, okay. I figured I was ready to be her friend again and I could control my emotions. I was very depressed that we weren't talking through NC and would have given anything for us to be friends again so I guess I will try it.

[mixwell]

man you are just putting yourself through more pain and suffering.. why ?? the whole situation sounds crazy to me. I think any guy that gets wings tattooed on him is a homo.. no offense to anyone but thats lame. haha.. Yeah tell her to screw off... She said she has no one to turn to and needs your help ? O well you aren't with her anymore.. Let her new b/f do that for her.. I seriously don't know why the hell you would want to go through this.. why would she bring her new b/f around you in the first place ?

 

No offense but your ex sounds like a slut with no morals or concern for anyone.. Thats soo immature.. You need to stop right now.. I am asking myself why you are lettin all of this happen.. you might want to talk to a shrink or something.. once again no offense but I don't know anyone that would put up with what you are and you seem like it doesn't even bother you that much..

 

Unless you are really that much over her then go for it, but you seem like you are taking any kind of relationship she will give you and thats pathetic.. I am not accusing you of it but thats what it seems like so please don't say that i am making accusations. You should go to NC and forget this girl.. Sounds like she is selfish up the arse !!

 

Take care,

 

Peace

[figgurinoutlife]

What do you think she is up to? Seems she is trying to make me jealous? What do you think?

[DesertDweller]

It sounds like she is indeed trying to make you jealous by telling you about her exes and bringing her current boyfriend around. You have managed to blow her off through NC and I don't think she's used to that. Is she? I think it's all about her ego...

[mixwell]

yea I think she is trying to make her jealous.. the best thing is to just dont give her any time.. you should just start ignoring her.. tell her you don't want to be friends.. Make her want you. i dont know .. you just cant keep going on like this..

[NightsEcho]

And I thought I was a sucker for punishment.......

 

This girl is doing a classic look at me! Look at my new B/F! My new Life! ISn't it so great? See my desicion to leave you was right. Now I have this sucker on my arm (probably a nice enough guy) who will do what I want.

 

You wanna know what drives her crazy.....absolute indifference on your part. Next time she comes over.....be running out the door. If she has something to show you kinda mumble "thats nice" as you put on your sweetest shades and a "I eat s*it for breakfest grin" Don't care.

 

You know she may be confused. (what girl isn't lol) but that doesn't mean you should let her confuse you.

 

Her life isn't all she is making it out to be. Women put on this major face...espically when they are trying to get a rise out of people. I know my ex used to be a completely different person, when we would go out with friends...and when I asked why she was always like "I don't know"

 

Cut it off

[figgurinoutlife]

It just baffles me because I have so much more going than the guy she's with, and I'm talking everything! I don't know why she would want to make me jealous when she's the one who wouldn't get back with me. I told her I didn't want her back when she was at my door breaking down because she said her life went to crap. I really don't know if I would or not, but I wanted to say that to throw her for a loop. I want to play it cool, live my own life which I have been doing, but I wouldn't mind trying to be friends with her, I wanted to be friends with her soo bad during NC. We don't hang out or anything, just talk on the phone.

 

I just don't get how someone can change for the better and the other person knows it, but they would rather hang around someone who is a not so good influence.

 

A few of my friends say from her actions she wants to get back with me, but if she does she has a funny way of showing it. Maybe she is trying to say "see, since you did NC with me I have a new life, so HA HA."