Over thinking?

[leia1028]

My boyfriend and I are together for 3 years. I'm 21 and he's 19.

 

My boyfriend tells me when girls flirt with him, try to get with him or if someone has a crush on him. He's an attractive guy so I don't blame them. We currently started doing long distance a few months ago but he comes back for Christmas. Since he's at another university he's meeting new people and telling me all these compliments and how other girls flirt with him (idk if he's over exaggerating lol). I know he likes it too because he feels flattered and I know its suppose to make me feel good because that's my boyfriend. But I just go along with it, and I'm happy for him telling him "of course other people would want to date you, you're attractive and have an amazing personality" etc. He's being honest with me about everything and his friends there know he's taken and I trust him too, but it just bothers me that I wish I can be there so other girls at the university would see me in the flesh and stop trying to get with him. My bf assures me I'm the only one he wants to be with and that I'm amazing, I'm just jealous but I'm trying so hard not to show him that. It annoys me and hurts a little when he tells me those stories and that there's girls who want to date him. I love hearing/seeing him happy, and him telling me those stories boosts his ego so it makes him proud. If i tell him to stop, he may want to share these joys with other people. I'm just so stuck and I'm over thinking so i need help please to maybe ease my mind.

 

I don't know if I should tell him to not tell me the stories so I don't have to imagine or overthink things. But at the same time, I appreciate the honesty ..but what if he gets into a habit of keeping secrets/stories from me if I have him stop telling me, but I just have to suck it up.

[Frivolous]

My boyfriend and I are together for 3 years. I'm 21 and he's 19.

 

My boyfriend tells me when girls flirt with him, try to get with him or if someone has a crush on him. He's an attractive guy so I don't blame them. We currently started doing long distance a few months ago but he comes back for Christmas. Since he's at another university he's meeting new people and telling me all these compliments and how other girls flirt with him (idk if he's over exaggerating lol). I know he likes it too because he feels flattered and I know its suppose to make me feel good because that's my boyfriend. But I just go along with it, and I'm happy for him telling him "of course other people would want to date you, you're attractive and have an amazing personality" etc. He's being honest with me about everything and his friends there know he's taken and I trust him too, but it just bothers me that I wish I can be there so other girls at the university would see me in the flesh and stop trying to get with him. My bf assures me I'm the only one he wants to be with and that I'm amazing, I'm just jealous but I'm trying so hard not to show him that. It annoys me and hurts a little when he tells me those stories and that there's girls who want to date him. I love hearing/seeing him happy, and him telling me those stories boosts his ego so it makes him proud. If i tell him to stop, he may want to share these joys with other people. I'm just so stuck and I'm over thinking so i need help please to maybe ease my mind.

 

I don't know if I should tell him to not tell me the stories so I don't have to imagine or overthink things. But at the same time, I appreciate the honesty ..but what if he gets into a habit of keeping secrets/stories from me if I have him stop telling me, but I just have to suck it up.

 

 

From my experience I would go with not explicitly saying it gets to you but maybe drop some hints if you have to. My reason being is my current gf openly talks about her past experiences with guys which gets to me a bit as it's info I don't really need to know. However, after having a secretive/suspicious gf in the past I really appreciate my current gf's honesty

[gorf]

I really appreciate my current gf's honesty

 

I agree. Lets face it: he's good looking, got charm and whatever else you like about him. Other women are going to like that too. He's himself. Thats a good thing. Its not like he is getting numbers and seeing other women. You trust him. So my point is, you know its going to be that way with him. And this leads me to what I wanted to mention below.

 

What it comes down to is: can you handle the truth? I personally would like to know what is going on. I can handle hearing these things. I already know they are going on. If I hear nothing from my sig other, its like things I know are going on and someone is holding their hands over my ears and eyes. Then I worry that something actually IS going on when everything is ok and he/she is being loyal. Know what I mean?

 

So its what you can handle. If you don't feel comfortable knowing, tell him to stop telling you about the girls who hit on him. Who knows... maybe he will see it bothers you, and shut them down so they cant flirt with him anymore or as much. So at least let him know how you feel and dont let it fester.

 

My gf is very attractive, lots of guys flirt with her. Anyways, we had a talk about the point of flirting and how it is a way to show the opposite sex you are available.. and that it is wrong to flirt, and let others flirt with you, if you are actually not available. She seems to really have taken it seriously

Edited August 16, 2016 by gorf

[mrs rubble]

I'd knock him down a peg a or two, noone likes a skite.

I had a very good looking boyfriend a while back and he used to go on and on about how hot he was and how all the girls drooled over him.

One day he walked home from work and told me that he "is definitely the hottest guy in our street because he caught a whole car load of girls staring" at him, I said, "they're probably noticing how wierd you walk".

It shut him up for ages!!:lmao:

[smackie9]

All you have to do is cut him off by quickly diverting the conversation to something else every time he brings it up. It will click in for him to stop after the first couple of times.

[leia1028]

I agree. Lets face it: he's good looking, got charm and whatever else you like about him. Other women are going to like that too. He's himself. Thats a good thing. Its not like he is getting numbers and seeing other women. You trust him. So my point is, you know its going to be that way with him. And this leads me to what I wanted to mention below.

 

What it comes down to is: can you handle the truth? I personally would like to know what is going on. I can handle hearing these things. I already know they are going on. If I hear nothing from my sig other, its like things I know are going on and someone is holding their hands over my ears and eyes. Then I worry that something actually IS going on when everything is ok and he/she is being loyal. Know what I mean?

 

So its what you can handle. If you don't feel comfortable knowing, tell him to stop telling you about the girls who hit on him. Who knows... maybe he will see it bothers you, and shut them down so they cant flirt with him anymore or as much. So at least let him know how you feel and dont let it fester.

 

My gf is very attractive, lots of guys flirt with her. Anyways, we had a talk about the point of flirting and how it is a way to show the opposite sex you are available.. and that it is wrong to flirt, and let others flirt with you, if you are actually not available. She seems to really have taken it seriously

 

 

That is true, I should want to know these things and what goes on and to him he will feel happy that I'm listening to his stories. When he talks about it, it doesn't seem like a big deal so he must be handling those situations well. My boyfriend is really friendly, so he wouldn't shut them away. He tells me he's friends with them (well more like acquaintances) but for me to not worry about anything because he loves me. I still worry since I'm not there from our long distance at the moment. I trust that he will make smart decisions but the fact hearing that there's girls who knows he is taken but still wants to date him make me uncomfortable. But it's true that I should appreciate his honesty. If he was hiding something with someone else, I know him well enough that he wouldn't tell me or act distant.