Can you choose to love someone you haven't fallen in love with

[Fortheloveoflove]

Can you make a conscious decision to love someone because of a situation rather than just falling in love with them the traditional way and then actually fall in love with them in time?

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Can you make a conscious decision to love someone because of a situation rather than just falling in love with them the traditional way and then actually fall in love with them in time?

 

Yeah, sure why not? I don't know how else to say,

Some arranged marriages have worked out this way.

[Redhead14]

Love the one you're with -- Sometimes people can't let go of the past. They think they are hung up on an ex, and maybe they are, but some time has passed and they are dating someone that they are enjoying spending time with, evaluating for long-term potential, but aren't being objective and in the moment. Or they are so focused on trying to figure things out, overthinking, over analyzing they may be missing out. Sometimes people are stuck in the 'what ifs'. What if things were different with X, what if this new person is my last chance at love. If you living your life in the 'what ifs', you missing "what's now". So, IMO, Love the One You're With, is about turning your focus to the here and now and having an open mind and heart. Which in turn may allow the love that may be developing for the new partner to blossom.

 

Love the one your with is about making sure you're living in the moment with someone you really, really like but are on some level hesitant or confused about whether those feeling are deeper or deepening.

 

You won't be "making yourself fall in love", but you will be giving it the best opportunity for love to grow.

[GoodOnPaper]

Can you make a conscious decision to love someone because of a situation rather than just falling in love with them the traditional way and then actually fall in love with them in time?

 

Sure, you can love through commitment but if you are looking for that to completely make up for or somehow generate that purely-chemical/physical infatuation that most people feel at the beginning, I don't think it can - at least it hasn't for me. I think that initial infatuation does serve a role in how a person bonds to his or her partner. Without it, you can still have a good, stable relationship or marriage but for me, it's like the emotional equivalent of walking with a pebble in my shoe.

[preraph]

You can decide to love them as a person and be their friend, but that will not make you want to ambush them in the shower, my friend.

[wmacbride]

Sure, you can love through commitment but if you are looking for that to completely make up for or somehow generate that purely-chemical/physical infatuation that most people feel at the beginning, I don't think it can - at least it hasn't for me. I think that initial infatuation does serve a role in how a person bonds to his or her partner. Without it, you can still have a good, stable relationship or marriage but for me, it's like the emotional equivalent of walking with a pebble in my shoe.

 

T5his could be true, but just look at the number a relationships on here that started with those feelings but when they fizzled out, there was nothing left.

[NTV]

Real love is something you build brick by brick. 'falling in love' is a temporary emotion and will never last.

[mikeylo]

Old adage- you cant choose whom you fall in love with. To fall is the easy part while staying in is the difficult part. Its an everyday effort.

 

A long lasting satisfying relationship needs lots of things- genuine love, dedication, right way to fight and resolve, trust , honesty,etc etc.

 

But ultimately, if love is there, many issues can be resolved.Love makes the world go round.