ChickiePops Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 What I think is a) you think you're smart b) you're not His post was a copy pasta from Reddit, lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) RBL--you are old and experienced enough to recognize the OW grooming he's doing. Telling you that he wants to be friends, implying strongly that he thinks you are special, learning enough about you to know that you aren't in any dedicated relationship and most tellingly approaching you after his wife told you to beat it which affirms to the hopeful mind how special he thinks you are. You could be friends with benefits as that's what he is looking for. But not just friends. The slippery slope ride might have been fun so far but get off now. Read the other OW posts and you'll see how many started off with good intentions but ended up as the OW despite knowing OM wasn't ever going to leave hearth and home. Edited August 21, 2016 by Bufo Typo correction 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whatever29 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 RockChick: Glad you decided to post here and are heeding this hard-won advice. One other important take-away for you: The "cheating type" is anyone who cheats. Watch out for those wolves in sheep's clothing. At the end of the day, actions > words. His actions show you who he is. His words can be deceptive, but the actions tell the tale. Exactly, and his actions are I'm going to do what I want to do and I don't care who I hurt. Come fall in love with me under the guise of being "friends." I think he has done this sort of thing before, otherwise, why is she checking his phone? My AP's wife was constantly checking his phone, she knew he was having an A. He wants what he wants and doesn't care who gets hurt. In the end if you are to continue it will be you. He's a snake in disguise...tell him to go slither off and go NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RockChick_Lestat Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 Thank you very much. I am so glad I decided to post here on LS. Strange how we all think our situation is so unique.....I guess for us it is.....its OUR story. And in the midst of it all, things turn grey. Thanks to the honesty of the members on here, im not seeing the grey no more. As i said....it all seems so simple now. During the course of 1 weekend, all desire to be friends with this MM has subsided. I still acknowledge that I think as a person he is still funny, handsome and a lovely person to know. But this much I know... ....the answer to my question is NO...we cannot be friends. And theres no ifs of buts or howevers here for me even...I acknowledge my part in this and im taking responsibility...and Im walking away. Blessings to all x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Rock chick it's so hard to do if you think he's so cute and funny, etc it's harder to walk the walk when they charm you to death and you are sucked back in. You can have all the willpower in the world but it's all way different when you see them or they call or say or do something sweet. Just remember your girl code, remember that you have enough friends, remember he already knows your boundaries are weak enough with a kiss and secret phonecalls, texts...always remember it is not flattering, it's actually an insult that he sees you as a woman he can groom and use for attention and his back pocket little dirty secret whenever he wants. His wife isn't a jealous horrible mean controlling woman, she just loves him and wants to protect her marriage. He's providing her all reassurances while he in turn does what he wants and feels entitled and no one has to know. Disgusting behavior, he won't let you think she can tell him what to do but in actuality he is gaslighting her, telling her likely she's crazy to think he would Even CONSIDER another woman and that's she's his only true love....these guys are masters. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Disgusting behavior, he won't let you think she can tell him what to do but in actuality he is gaslighting her, telling her likely she's crazy to think he would Even CONSIDER another woman and that's she's his only true love....these guys are masters. Great point, privategal. Think of this Rockchick, if you start to feel weak. Imagine her asking him what's going with his new friend and him LYING to her over and over. Telling her he would never cheat. That she is the only one he loves. Kissing her, hugging her, maybe making love to her to reassure her that he wants only her. All the while, he is lying lying lying to preserve the nascent affair. Nauseating, isn't it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RockChick_Lestat Posted August 27, 2016 Author Share Posted August 27, 2016 Ive been reading through some of the posts on this board...and I have to say the patterns that re-occur...might be in different shapes and sizes.....is unbelievable. Today I am greatful for a week of NC....could be more....i dont care. I wish my MM all the best in the future. I know that I wont be a part of it. With your help I have realised that we cannot be friends. I was kidding myself myself afterall. My mind is clear and i dont have the foggy 'what ifs' going round in my mind anymore. ....and it feels great 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Well...I felt lower than low when i was told about this, took it pretty bad and felt like trash and SO embaressed infront of communal friends. Yet that disappeared when he asked you to still be 'friends', knowing that his wife didn't want you sending him messages. This is not an honest 'friendship', his wife doesn't agree with it, you're not friends with her, only him. Imagine if you were married and your husband was sending another woman messages and acting inappropriately, I'm sure you wouldn't like it one bit. Please end it for your own sanity and self respect. You're going to get hurt. Also, you have something in you that feels the need to 'fix' broken men. Look into that, try counseling because you're going to keep making the wrong choices when it comes to men and relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Yet that disappeared when he asked you to still be 'friends', knowing that his wife didn't want you sending him messages. This is not an honest 'friendship', his wife doesn't agree with it, you're not friends with her, only him. Imagine if you were married and your husband was sending another woman messages and acting inappropriately, I'm sure you wouldn't like it one bit. Please end it for your own sanity and self respect. You're going to get hurt. Also, you have something in you that feels the need to 'fix' broken men. Look into that, try counseling because you're going to keep making the wrong choices when it comes to men and relationships. Errrmm! Whichwayisup, you might want to try looking up. In the post above yours the OP has stated that she's done and is moving on from this married man. Happy Weekend... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RockChick_Lestat Posted August 27, 2016 Author Share Posted August 27, 2016 Thank you Loveisanaction.....correct you are. My original post was from a week ago. I just wanted to thank everyone for their input which has helped me tremendously in taking the necessary step forward. Blessings x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 I love happy endings Congratulations!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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