snooped at emails, found something i didn't like, is there cause for concern?

[cuiouswoman]

i made the mistake of reading a few of my boyfriends emails. i found that he writes to two women about every six months or so....just to say "hi" and see what they're up to....in one he said hoped she was moving back to the area because he enjoyed their conversations...i felt sick to my stomach. shame on me for invading his privacy.....i'm upset with myself for that but how do i confront something like this without letting on that i was untrusting and read 3 emails? is there cause for concern? it just hurt my feelings that he would need to write to someone else...i think they may have had a few dates a few years ago...but my question is why he even needs to write to them? it brings up my insecurities...(another reason i snooped) and maybe i'm not the right person for him.

anyone share a similar experience and what did you do?

[jennie baby :)]

you have to confront him. this exact same thing happended to me with my bf... with an ex, a girl he met on the net 5 years ago and a girl he didnt even know. i got worried and snooped in this room after and found valentines day cards, letter and photos from the girl-friend of 5 years..... YEAH.... nice knickers u little slapper.

 

long story short, i made up a story and im a good liar so yay. he went red, i told him he was an a**h*** and after a couple of weeks things were fine. then i found the pic and convo of the ex and her tits... all dated 2 months after we started going out and it happened again and now he has a new computer, email address and i have regular checks through files and things. inc luding his mobile phone inbox and bills!!! he doesnt know but he knows im not stupid. make sure u let ur bf know that.

 

dont trust a guy with a computer if he was a little **** in the past. leopards dont change their spots.

 

if you confront him cuz u dont trust him and u end up breaking up fine, u didnt trust him in the 1st place and he lied to u. not a great basis for a relationship. if u dont then dont complain. u must trust him then. if u do confront him and u stick through it then he wont do it again or if he does then he is a dick then u can finish with him. make sure u let him know u are not stupid. and u will know in future, and u wont be made to look like a fool. if he likes his foreskin he will stop.

 

me and my bf.... 3 years later and still under the thumb.... the only way i have it.

 

good luck hunny

[Craig]

As long as he isn't overtly flirting with them then E-mailing once every 6 months is no big deal, in fact it's nothing at all. Relax.

[smile95]

Do you not have guy friends that you talk to every once in a whiile? I do not think there is a cause for concern? Do you not trust him-is that why you snooped? If it si only every 6 months or so, that is nothing! if it were weekly or daily, then I could see why you would be mad. But really adults have friends of the opposite sex. Now if it said..."thanks for last night" or "cannot wait to see you again", then you could bust him!

[curiouswoman]

Thanks for the responses. I think I'm mostly ashamed/feeling guilty that I even looked at a few e-mails.

 

I guess I was feeling vulnerable, but that's no excuse. He's a wonderful man and I should have known better.

[RecordProducer]

It's not bad to have a few female friends with whom he exchanges emails occasionally. It's bad that you have doubts about him, cuz your guts tell you that something is wrong. That's why you opened his emails, that's why you feel insecure.

Relax! If you're meant to be together, you will be. You cannot have somebody's love 100%. Nobody loves us unconditionally except our parents and kids.

Fights kill relationships so save your anger for serious things that might occur in the future. If you oppose to him about this minor thing, he is the one who might have doubts about you being the right one for him.

[curiouswoman]

thanks again everyone...everything's fine. just a very good lesson in faith and trust for me.

[alex434]

Originally posted by RecordProducer

You cannot have somebody's love 100%.

 

LoL well let me tell you something, if i aint got 100% of someones love you need to get the %@%@ out because unless it has to deal with their parents, family, all their love should belong to you.