I dont know what to do!

[confused]

Ill start off saying im a 16 year old guy, i guess that could help. =). Well, ive known this girl for about two and a half years and we got to be really close friends. We even share mutual friends. Well, i had also had this really bad crush on her thats lasted for about a year or so now. i didnt want to tell her that in case she thought that was really weird or something... but anyway, one of my friends knew about it and she told her all about how i really liked her. i guess she took it ok because she seemed to pay even more attention to me. then we started going to movies and stuff, just as 'friends' and we kinda fooled around a bit, but it wasnt too involved. after a bit of that, she tells me that she can only think of me as her friend and nothing more. she said that even if i was the hottest guy in the whole world she couldnt like me because we are just really good friends. everyone else ive talked to says thats a lot of crap about what she says, but im not sure. but anyway, she gets really angry because im sad a lot because i like her sooo much. and she *is* worth it too, so dont say she isnt. i just dont know what to do, and if i should try and pursue it or not, hoping maybe one day itll turn out better.... sorry for the long post, and i hope it made SOME sense, hehe. thanks in advance!

[namder]

Listen mate, I`m going to keep this short, because I ain`t got much time, don`t think me callous.

 

It sounds to me like this girl is a very good friend, its sounds too as if she`s trying not to hurt your feelings. Maybe you two are really great mates, but maybe the chemistry just isn`t there between you two, in a romantic/sexual sense. Is it? She might realise this and it might be why she doesn`t want to pursue this course with you.

 

Don`t take this personal, it happens to every one at some time and there`s not a lot you can do about it. Mix with other females and I`m sure you`ll find someone with equal or better potential for a relationship than this present girl. If nothing else it`ll help take your mind of your dream girl, remember dreams can change!!!

[Tony T]

Namder, in his/her post above, is 1000 percent correct in everything.

 

Just get in into your head that this girl wants ONLY friendship from you. She probably would enjoy romance if it comes her way, but NOT with you.

 

This is good and bad. It's good because you can never have too many friends and it sounds like she really cares deeply about you as a friend.

 

But at the same time, if you keep trying to go after her and get romantic she will cut you off at the pass and you will transform from a friend to an annoyance, a nuisance, an irritant and she will not want to be anywhere near you.

 

Start spending less time with her and pursue other ladies, just like Namder said. Being around this girl is only going to feed your FALSE hope. Eventually, she will start being interested in some other guy in a romantic way and if you're close to the situation, you will go nuts. There is no good reason to put yourself through that.

 

Take it from a guy who's been there quite a few times, stop this nonsense and move on with your life. As a matter of fact, for a while I think you should just avoid this girl. Being around her is only going to be unpleasant for you. NOTHING is EVER going to happen and you just need to get that in your head.

 

I know that fact depresses you so feel depressed for a little bit...but move on. And since I have been there quite a few times, I can absolutely confirm that there are hundreds of ladies out there with whom you can have incredible mutual romance. But you won't find them if you're wasting your heart's time pursuing this friend who has told you it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!! She's not kidding, bub.

 

Now, if you want just a little more scoop on this, read on. In five to eight years or so, this girl will get married and have kids. At that time, she may not even have time for a quick call from you. Or her husband may be the jealous type and discourage her contact with other guys, friends or not. So right now is the time to enjoy her friendship. But I don't think you can do that at this time because your mind is set on more.

 

Just wanted you to know what you have to look forward to with this girl. Now, go find some romance and stop looking like a fool to the world. Be a MAN!!!

 

While I'm at it, just let me inform you about this friendship with women thing. When you meet a lady, if you don't get romantic with her in some way fairly soon, if she likes you....in her mind she will put you in the friendship slot. Once you're in that slot, it's real real hard to get out. So if you meet a lady you think you could fall for, make sure from the start she knows your intentions. If you start out as friends, it can be very hard to change. Oh, yes, it does happen but it's just such a complicated thing to pull off in so many ways.

 

In your particular situation, there's practically no hope because she is young and will date many guys before she's ready to settle down.

 

Please read my post as many times as it takes for everything to sink into your head. If you're like me, you will require yourself to be bashed dozens of times before you learn all this. May as well start now so you won't waste the kind of time I did.

 

And, yes, I do love receiving Christmas cards each year from my old lady friend's (who I loved more than friends) with the pictures of their kids enclosed. They mean those as a reminder of why I only hear from them once a year.

[confused]

well ,thanks you guys for your responses. Its just kinda weird sometimes because she wants to 'be physical' and do stuff like that, and that just seemed kind of weird to me. its not that i hold anything against her, im fine with the situation i guess, i just wasnt sure what was going on.