Why is it my Sister and I can't get along?

[MissCongeniality]

There is a lot of bad blood between us. My sister is in my opinion a hypocrite and stuck up. She was the oldest and was a lot like a mom to me and my other siblings. Our relationship took a bad turn when my dad started molesting me and I begged her to help me. She never did and after that I stopped looking up to her and our relationship became very antagonistic.

 

When I got pregnant as a teenager and needed a place to stay because for obvious reasons I did not want my kid around my dad she turned me away. She was married with kids despite me offering to help around her place she still turned me away. Needless to say we still are not close she has never told me she was sorry she just judges me and still acts like she has a right to lecture me.

 

In my mind all I can think about is how when I was little she promised to protect me always. All I think about is that she broke her promise.

[anika99]

You have talked about your sister here before. In another thread you said she would try to protect you from your father but she would "freeze up". I'm guessing that means she was scared herself and didn't know what to do. What your father did was horrible and I'm sorry that happened to you but I think you should stop blaming your sister. She didn't know what to do. She was being raised in the same toxic environment as you and just surviving it the best she could.

 

I don't know your sister's reasons behind not helping you when you were pregnant. Maybe she was just a messed up person from being raised in a terrible environment or maybe she had some valid concerns about having you in her home full time. My youngest brother is personality disordered and creates drama everywhere he goes. When he was younger we all tried in various ways to help him out but nothing changed and he would just bring nothing but toxicity and drama into our homes. To hear him tell it he would have everyone believing that he was nothing but a sweet and innocent victim of his evil selfish family. I still feel guilty about him and I feel bad for him because he doesn't even understand how his own behaviour gets him into his predictaments.

 

When it comes to sibling relationships there is usually two sides to every story. You call your sister judgemental yet you judge her and blame her for your father's actions and she knows it. You were both screwed up by your dysfunctional upbringing and perhaps you both need some healing before you will be able to mend your relationship with each other.