Call her or keep sending special text messsages for a while longer?

[TransformedMan]

My ex is an extremely stubborn person that get’s hurt and angry easily, and won’t let it go for weeks.

 

My ex broke up with me very suddenly, it seemed to me. Though I now understand I was too needy and insecure.

 

After the breakup we still chatted on Hangouts (chatt program) every day and several times, even with smilies and such.

After sending a needy mail to her I noticed that she kind of stopped chatting with me. But she knew I was going to a party to a childhood sweetheart just 10 days later. We did not talk any during these 10 days, although I could see that she kept looking almost every day for messages from me. On the party day she sent me a message (asking for computer help) at 9 PM, right in the middle of the party, as if reminding me to not forget her and do anything with someone else. I sent her a message 2 days later giving her help to solve the problem and she was so grateful.

 

After that I did not contact her for a month. She kept checking the chatt program every other day for messages from me. One time she sent me a link to a site, nothing else. I did not respond. After a month I sent her a e-card for her birthday and she sent me a chatt message being grateful. No response from me and I waited one more month and then sent her a written letter telling her that I understood her breaking up with me and that I thought she did the right thing and I’m OK with it. She wrote me back a mail telling me stuff about her family that she knows I’d like to know. But after that she has been very cold to my “Text your Ex” messages. No response, and she always takes 2 hours until reading them.

 

It’s as if she’s really pissed that I haven’t tried getting her back. I think she was hoping I would fight to get her back. She had fought hard for over 3 month to get me at the beginning and was probably hoping I’d show her I’d fight as much for her as she did. I’m quite sure she wants me back. She was crazy about me and always said that I was the man she’d been looking for all her life.

 

A few weeks after she broke up I asked her if she wanted to go out and do some photography together. She answered that we could do that when I returned from my short vacation. I never did ask her again.

 

I’ve sent her two message that are of the kind reminding her (discretely) of things we both liked or that I love about her (like her cooking), that don’t require any answer, and am about to send my third. All of them at least 3 days in between.

Should I just give her a call and ask her to go out and take a coffee (actually as neither of us drink coffee) at a special place I know she would love?

We have no social media we use so she doesn’t know all the self improvement courses I’ve gone to, nor the dates (no sex) I’ve had. It would be a chance to let her find out that I’m a new man and that I’m OK and moving on.

Of course, what I most of all want is to be back with her with my new improved self.

[carhill]

IME, this kind of interaction is more emotional filler material than anything else.

 

How long were you together before the break up? Did you live together?

 

Would you say the latest round has mostly been proactive contact from you? It appears so from your post. If she's not initiating contact, and especially personal contact, meaning pressing of flesh, considering your past intimacy, I'd give this second chance only a distant hope.

 

Kudos to you for using this breakup as an impetus to self-improvement. That will certainly benefit you in life and, what the heck, thank her for that. Maybe not today or tomorrow but when you've accepted the realities here. It's a process. Endings don't always have to be sad memories.