Reason women don't respond to messages

[LookAtThisPOst]

For those guys that complain about women never responding to their emails, well, I came across a unique profile of a woman that *Updated* her profile with an opening paragraph about not answering initial emails.

 

She said that it creates an "illusion" of interest, and creates a back-and-forth of emails that lead to no where.

 

So this kind of delves into the minds of the ladies on dating sites on what they might be thinking?

 

I saw a profile like this, where they explain whey they don't respond. It's like a snow ball effect where it starts off with, "Why aren't you interested? I think we'd make a great match!"

 

When in fact she just saw a bald or short guy and said "Nope!"

 

So it winds up being a guy attempting to talk her into meeting up for drinks.

 

So thus they don't bother responding at all.

[PrettyEmily77]

Well, yeah.

 

The primary (only?) reason why someone won't reply (I don't do OLD but I'm sure it's the same idea IRL) is because they are not interested. That's as deep as the delving can go, really.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well, yeah.

 

The primary (only?) reason why someone won't reply (I don't do OLD but I'm sure it's the same idea IRL) is because they are not interested. That's as deep as the delving can go, really.

 

Believe it or not, some emails go overlooked and sometimes a follow-up email, albeit a few weeks later may help get her to notice. I've done this myself with women in the area and had gotten dates.

 

They've admitted they get so many emails, that the good ones get overlooked.

[Imajerk17]

I think this topic has been quite extensively discussed on here, especially by the OP. Ah well, summer is the time for reruns

 

Yes indeed, a big reason why people don't respond is because they aren't interested, and corresponding back and forth would waste BOTH parties' time. Other reasons include (in some cases) not even noticing your message among the bunches of other emails they received along with yours. But OP, this has all been talked about ad nauseam on here including your threads, surely you knew this already?

Edited August 21, 2016 by Imajerk17

[xxoo]

She said that it creates an "illusion" of interest, and creates a back-and-forth of emails that lead to no where..

 

Sounds reasonable. Why waste the time?

[ASG]

Absolutely. Sometimes I get great messages and I really want to reply. Or even send my own messages to great profiles. But I *know* I'm not interested in the person in question, so I end up not replying. Because that would give a false sense of interest to the other person.

[losangelena]

Why don't women respond to messages?

 

Because they don't want to? That seems a bit obvious ...

[ChickiePops]

Because they're not interested in you. Why is that so difficult to understand?

[elaine567]

When in fact she just saw a bald or short guy and said "Nope!"

 

Well that is how it generally works.

If a guy got a message from a woman that looked like a man, or a blonde when he was looking for a brunette, or from someone who couldn't string two sentences together, then I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't reply either.

 

NO interest --> NO reply.

 

Most do not have the energy or the time to devote to replying to people they are not interested in and if they did it would only give some people false hope anyway.

People who want to date are not looking for a pen-pal or a friend.

[MissBee]

Well, yeah.

 

The primary (only?) reason why someone won't reply (I don't do OLD but I'm sure it's the same idea IRL) is because they are not interested. That's as deep as the delving can go, really.

 

Pretty much.

 

And for me no, it has never happened that good emails get overlooked. You get adept at just running through your inbox and being like "Nope, nope, nope, nope...hmmm okay maybe...." and go from there.Men who message me multiple times after I don't respond, I don't get it. I assume they either send mass messages so forgot or are completely dense.

 

But yes, to the initial post: if I am not interested I don't respond, as to me it doesn't make sense to respond just to say I'm not interested. Likewise, on the other end, if I message a dude and he doesn't respond, I assume he doesn't like me and I leave it at that. I would find it more awkward for him to respond to say he isn't interested actually...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Pretty much.

 

And for me no, it has never happened that good emails get overlooked. You get adept at just running through your inbox and being like "Nope, nope, nope, nope...hmmm okay maybe...." and go from there.Men who message me multiple times after I don't respond, I don't get it. I assume they either send mass messages so forgot or are completely dense.

 

Believe it or not, I've scored dates by sending another email, only because it got overlooked...so..ya never know. ;-)

 

See, in my area there's a limited amount of women that show up in my search criteria...and thusly, when I reach full circle of women in a couple of months, I'm back to the same women again.

 

So I take another shot at it...and viola...they even admitted, "Yeah, I did overlook your email" and gave myself a pat on my back on the 2nd attempt.

 

;-)

 

So yes, women do get SO many emails that some get overlooked, so it behooves to give it another shot...just wait a few weeks though, otherwise it comes off as desperate.

 

I would find it more awkward for him to respond to say he isn't interested actually...

 

Really? You're in the minority.

Edited August 22, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[basil67]

Not specifically online dating.....but when my personal email starts to get overloaded, I can't bring myself to face it and respond to emails. With online dating, a lack of response could could simply be a reaction to being overwhelmed with incoming mail.

Edited August 22, 2016 by basil67

[xxoo]

Believe it or not, I've scored dates by sending another email, only because it got overlooked...so..ya never know. ;-)

 

See, in my area there's a limited amount of women that show up in my search criteria...and thusly, when I reach full circle of women in a couple of months, I'm back to the same women again.

 

So I take another shot at it...and viola...they even admitted, "Yeah, I did overlook your email" and gave myself a pat on my back on the 2nd attempt.

 

;-)

 

So yes, women do get SO many emails that some get overlooked, so it behooves to give it another shot...just wait a few weeks though, otherwise it comes off as desperate.

 

When she responded, she was interested. Something caught her interest.

 

 

Really? You're in the minority.

 

Why do you think that?

[GemmaUK]

Believe it or not, some emails go overlooked and sometimes a follow-up email, albeit a few weeks later may help get her to notice. I've done this myself with women in the area and had gotten dates.

 

They've admitted they get so many emails, that the good ones get overlooked.

 

I take it the dates turned into relationships otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned them.

How long did the relationships from the dates, from the overlooked mails last?

[Dark Horse]

If you say hi or hey how's it going, she will most likely not respond so try to avoid saying that.

[SoThatHappened]

This isn't just a female thing.

 

I did OLD for about 7 or 8 months and probably didn't respond to 90% of the women who contacted me.

 

I wasn't interested or attracted. Women do the same thing. Crazy

[LookAtThisPOst]

I take it the dates turned into relationships otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned them.

How long did the relationships from the dates, from the overlooked mails last?

 

Just a couple of dates, but my point was I got them to answer and got dates after sending more than one email to them. The longevity of the relationship is irrelevant to the topic.

[LookAtThisPOst]

If you say hi or hey how's it going, she will most likely not respond so try to avoid saying that.

 

I always have avoided saying that.

[GemmaUK]

Just a couple of dates, but my point was I got them to answer and got dates after sending more than one email to them. The longevity of the relationship is irrelevant to the topic.

 

It is relevant though.

For you, your aim (from the sound of it and based on the above) is to go on one or two dates so in your terms the one or two dates is a positive and a win win for you.

Most people use OLD to meet someone with the intent to have a relationship so the one or two dates isn't a positive but actually a waste of time and time they could have spent getting to know someone and going on dates with someone with has the potential to lead somewhere and not just be 'a date or two'.

 

If a couple of dates with a woman is your main aim then maybe you need to look for those who just want to date casually and who don't want a relationship. You also might find that by contacting women who want the same thing that the responses could well increase.

[LookAtThisPOst]

It is relevant though.

 

No it isn't, you're really reaching. You're attempting to direct an arguement off somewhere else that has nothing to do with the price of tea in China, but hey...sometimes it's done inadvertently and common on message boards.

 

For you, your aim (from the sound of it and based on the above) is to go on one or two dates so in your terms the one or two dates is a positive and a win win for you.

Most people use OLD to meet someone with the intent to have a relationship so the one or two dates isn't a positive but actually a waste of time and time they could have spent getting to know someone and going on dates with someone with has the potential to lead somewhere and not just be 'a date or two'.

 

 

The OP has to do with even receiving a reply, not a relationship. Not sure why you're attempting to manufacture an argument when none exists.

 

If a couple of dates with a woman is your main aim then maybe you need to look for those who just want to date casually and who don't want a relationship. You also might find that by contacting women who want the same thing that the responses could well increase.

 

Again, irrelevant. Again, it's getting them to even REPLY to an email. Sometimes a follow-up gets their attention.

 

Seriously, I have no idea where you're going with this argument. I'll just end it here.

[GemmaUK]

Fair enough if you wish to end your thread - that's up to you.

You expanded the conversation - same as I did.

 

Basically, if a woman doesn't reply that = no interest.

 

If she previously didn't respond and you mail a second time and she says she overlooked you then my thought is why bother with someone who overlooked or ignored you!?

 

Go for those who respond first off.

 

Give yourself some value LATP!!

 

When you see a newbie remember she will have a tonne of mails to begin with - wait it out a little until the sex pests and idiots have mailed her - then mail her.

But mail just once. Someone who overlooks your first mail isn't that into you.

[Michelle ma Belle]

So what you're basically advocating is for all the men out there who have not received an email response from the objects of their affection to continue to relentlessly email these women regardless because inevitably they will get a response and maybe even a date?

 

Smh

[xxoo]

To sum up, there are various possibilities:

 

No reply to first email

No reply to second or subsequent email

 

Negative reply to first email

Negative reply to second or subsequent email

 

Positive reply to first email

No reply to first email, positive reply to second or subsequent email

 

Reason also vary:

 

Reasons for positive reply: interested

 

Reasons for negative reply: not intertested

 

Reasons for no reply: not interested, didn't see it

 

Is there anything more to add?

 

Of course, there is a whole world of possibility after "positive reply to first email" ranging from "ghost" to "happily ever after"

[LookAtThisPOst]

So what you're basically advocating is for all the men out there who have not received an email response from the objects of their affection to continue to relentlessly email these women regardless because inevitably they will get a response and maybe even a date?

 

Smh

 

Not relentlessly, but within' reason. "Always in moderation" I say. :-)

 

Time those emails a reasonable amount apart.

 

The one that had replied back to me, didn't see my 2nd email until later...so really, it was like the first time she's heard from me from her perspective.

 

She admitted, she said she never saw my first email, because she's swamped in a sea of emails. With that many coming into her inbox, it's no wonder I was missed. LOL.

 

Someone who overlooks your first mail isn't that into you.

 

That's impossible because if they haven't seen it, it means it never existed in their eyes.

[JewelD]

I got a lot of messages on my okcupid from men. More than I really cared to look at. I checked out a few profiles, but I did skip over many. I had a few people send me multiple messages and they got an immediate BLOCK just for being an irritant. I only skipped over certain profiles because I wasn't that committed to dating that I needed to look through every single message and profile.

 

So if you get skipped over, it's because she didn't like your profile picture, didn't like your message, or just did not care that much. There's too many people on OLD for anyone to be sending multiple messages trying to get one person's attention. You won't miss out on the love of your life because you decided not to send that second or third email.