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perfect but too soon


goodgirl

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I have a wonderful boyfriend...tall, gorgeous, sweet, romantic, passionate. Has treated me like a goddess for 2 years but I dont think we were meant to be. Soooo different;he is so predictable, likes patterns, not INTELLECTUAL. Conversation is most important when you get older, right? I am young (25) should i live it up & look for mr perfect (who probably isnt there) or take no chances on losing this jewell? help!

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Timing is everything when it comes to love and romance. It sounds like this guy may be the very right guy at the very wrong time.

 

You said in your post you "don't think we were meant to be." You don't say things like that about someone you deeply love and want to be with forever.

 

You simply are not ready at this time. I will just tell you this. Right now, you are better off single and moving about socially seeing just what is out there. I also don't think you will ever be totally happy with this near perfect guy because something is obviously missing.

 

But I'm also going to tell you that you may be hard pressed to find someone as nice as he is. So three things can happen. 1) You can date for a few years and finally fall in love with someone else with whom you are passionately in love. 2) You can date for a few decades and never find anyone if you use this guy as a benchmark for the type of guy you'll settle for 3) If in a few years you are ready to settle down and your current boyfriend is still available and willing, you could end up back with him.

 

Right now, you are simply not ready to settle down and, again, it just doesn't sound like the spark is there. If it was, you wouldn't have posted here.

 

You know the possiblities, you know the risks. The decision is yours.

 

I will tell you with absolute clarity that there are hundreds of thousands of ladies who ARE ready and would break their arm to get to your guy. He'll have no trouble whatsoever finding someone who will fall in love with him and value what he has to offer.

 

But if it just isn't there for you, staying with him could be something you could always regret. You simply aren't ready!!!

 

I tell people so often in this forum that aloofness and unpredictability is something that really fuels the spark in a romance. I thank you for your testimony to that here. Predictability, even when it's predictably sweet, romantic and passionate, can get boring when you're not ready for it.

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It depends on what you want. And what you feel. There will never BE a perfect man, or a perfect time. Never. And if you think there will, you will probably either be lonely or unsatisfied in the future.

 

Relationships, in my experience, aren't about this magical synergistic blend of similar personalities and routine. It's about work, you have to work HARD to keep a relationship going.

 

But I also think that when you are ready, if you know how to listen to your heart, you will know. The older you are when you marry, the more difficult it is because you are used to doing things your way and marriage and LTRs are above all about compromise, and being able to see the world in a variety of different ways. things aren't black and white, and variety is the spice of life.

 

I'm a very spontaneous and emotional person. My fiancee (we're getting married in 5 weeks) is stable, into routines, responsible. But in my opinion, he's my rock. He is the strong, enduring person who will weather any storm with me. When I have a hot temper, he is cool. When I am confused, he is sure. When I am lost, he is my beacon. If I were with someone more like me I think I'd go crazy! ha ha ha

 

If he cherishes you - that's hard to find. Especially nowadays with a lot of self-centered selfishness in this world.

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