Inflikted Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I mostly feel the need to vent, but good god, my mother is one of the most rage-inducing people I know. She's incredibly selfish and self-absorbed, she constantly nags and antagonizes my dad and me and most other people she interacts with, but then if you push back at all, she suddenly goes into "Woe is me, I bend over backwards for everyone and everyone treats me so horribly, I'm such a poor innocent little victim" mode. This rant, today, comes after watching my parents fight all day today because my mom just had to be randomly antagonistic to my dad over something petty and small. Yet, she just keeps carrying on and picking a fight, and not letting it go. I got so annoyed by their fighting that I got involved, as well, and it's just been a headache all day, all over stupid little things. This isn't really an uncommon occurrence, either. This kind of thing actually happens pretty frequently, but it builds up and builds up over time, and then it bubbles up into days like today. Over the years, I've grown very disdainful of my mother. Crazy enough, up through high school, I was a complete "mama's boy", but for the last several years, I've just seen more and more of what a horrible person she is. I'd even go as far to say that I hate her. I can't stand her antagonistic and nagging behavior, which again, is made worse by her backpedaling and playing the victim. I can't call her out on any of her BS, because she just turns it around on me, that I'm the bad guy that's treating her so horribly, after all the things she's done for me growing up, and whatnot. There's no winning, with her. She makes me so incredibly angry, in most of the interactions I have with her. Hell, she makes me thankful that I'll never date, because if her and my dad is any indication of what a relationship/ marriage is like, I want absolutely no part of that. It seems absolutely awful. But, what can I really do? I can try to limit the amount of interactions I have with her, but at the end of the day, she's still my mom, and no matter how hard I try to stay away, I'm going to inevitably get roped back into her craziness at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
KittyKat67 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 (edited) After dealing with anger and rage because of unhealthy childhood and similar feelings, I can tell you the only thing and that worked, was to stop talking, and go no contact. Forever? Doesn't have to be, but its the only way to get their attention and get some power back. I tried reasoning, wisdom, everything...nothing worked. No contact did. It infuriated them to the point my dad hates me now, but it gave me my power back. Get roped back into her craziness? Yes you will until you decide not to anymore. Edited August 22, 2016 by KittyKat67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 How about you moving out of your parents' house and leave them to it? At your age, it's high time you fled the nest anyway. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 She makes me so incredibly angry, in most of the interactions I have with her. Hell, she makes me thankful that I'll never date, because if her and my dad is any indication of what a relationship/ marriage is like, I want absolutely no part of that. It seems absolutely awful. If you are refusing to date because you don't like your mother, then you're letting her control you. Move out as soon as you're able to. I understand that type of person all too well, so I know how infuriating it can be. All you can do is change your own behaviour by removing yourself from the situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Inflikted, You have my sympathy because I had a mother similar to yours who was also verbally abusive. She made my dads life hell-on-earth on occasion, but other times was as sweet as pie. I realised early on that I wasn't going to change the family dynamics - and neither can you. So I devised an exit strategy. As soon as I was old enough ( 15 ) I got a Saturday job while still at school. I also worked in the school hols. I started saving money up. Then I applied for college and got a place. I lived away from home in a girls hostel at first. Then I got a flat with another girl from college. I rarely went home. By the time I was 20 I had a qualification and a job and was supporting myself. I never lived at home again. You can do the same, so put your mind to it. Good luck x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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