Job Title Getting in the Way?

[wayLander]

Hi all,

I'm a long time lurker, but never made an account since I never had much to say.

 

 

Anyways, I feel like I have a problem in that my job title gets in the way of my attempts to get dates/female interest. And I was wondering if other people possibly experience the same or similar problem...if it is the problem.

 

 

Basically, I work as a professional accountant (think CPA or CA) not a bookkeeper which is completely different, but I seem to lose every girls' interest as soon as it gets mentioned. When I have the ability to get my foot in the door per se, I have to eventually mention what I do day-to-day but I get the "Oh..." and I'm back to square one.

 

 

I get it, accountant is probably the most boring job (I enjoy it actually (() but does it really degrade me that much?! I have a very stable job with above average pay, plenty of room to move vertically or horizontally and I'm only in my 20s! It's not like I'm constantly talking about my job here and there, I try to barely mention anything since I've realized that people are skittish about it.

 

 

I dunno, I'm just frustrated because I feel like my job title brings me down several notches and was wondering if others had similar experiences. And yes, I have thought about the possibility that I am boring and that it's not just my job (which is more likely the problem me thinks).

 

 

Ty for any input (:

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

Basically, I work as a professional accountant (think CPA or CA) not a bookkeeper which is completely different, but I seem to lose every girls' interest as soon as it gets mentioned. When I have the ability to get my foot in the door per se, I have to eventually mention what I do day-to-day but I get the "Oh..." and I'm back to square one.

 

I doubt that is the reason.

[Els]

Plenty of accountants have dates, partners, and even families.

[Toodaloo]

You can always make something of it...

 

I have found that it doesn't really matter as long as you "own" and like who you are and what you do...

 

Are you the man who can actually make tax returns exciting?!?!?! Now that really would be a cool trait to have!!!

[salparadise]

They're responding to a stereotype. Accountant is portrayed as the most boring occupation in the world, and guys who do it are always mama's boys who have no style and no sense of humor. If I were you, I'd quit using that word and replace it with something perhaps more descriptive and not, you know... like financial analyst or something. For more than fifty years now, all accountants are

 

My daughter is a soon-to-be CPA. Fortunately the stereotype doesn't apply to women the say way.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I recall reading somewhere on a message board, not sure if it was here or elsewhere. That they avoided men in the STEM professions (first time I heard this acronym)

 

Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math

 

Claiming that any single man in this profession is socially awkward. Of course that's a stereotype, but I recall seeing historically posts about men in professions like these usually exude an awkward personality. Like they are too brainy to be suave.

 

My daughter is a soon-to-be CPA. Fortunately the stereotype doesn't apply to women the say way.

 

Hm. Wonder why that is?

[Arieswoman]

wayLander,

this is nonsense, there is no reason that being an a/c should stop you getting dates - now if you were a funeral director, embalmer, dustbin man, slaughterhouse worker, then it might be different.....

[salparadise]

There was a thread awhile back where women listed all the professions that are automatic deal breakers. I was amazed at how many were considered disqualifying for being either too boring, too gross, too morbid, not enough status, too much status, unstable, too much time away, too many groupies, too much opportunity to bang said groupies-nurses-models, etc. And of course, the presumptive personality and predilections of anyone associated with a given profession. I thought it was comical, but they were serious! But you know how it works... the right look, the right words and just the right amount of swagger trumps everything else. I know a guy who is a funeral director/mortician and he was considered a catch before he married himself a hottie.

[LookAtThisPOst]

There was a thread awhile back where women listed all the professions that are automatic deal breakers. I was amazed at how many were considered disqualifying for being either too boring, too gross, too morbid, not enough status, too much status, unstable, too much time away, too many groupies, too much opportunity to bang said groupies-nurses-models, etc. And of course, the presumptive personality and predilections of anyone associated with a given profession. I thought it was comical, but they were serious! But you know how it works... the right look, the right words and just the right amount of swagger trumps everything else. I know a guy who is a funeral director/mortician and he was considered a catch before he married himself a hottie.

 

I was kind of surprised at how a lot of women are turned off by Technology and Engineer professions. Even though they make a substantial amount of money, women group them into the "Socially inept" for some reason.

 

Sadly, it seems peoples' preconceived notions/stereotypes keep them single, like they are LOOKING for a reason to stay single or not give anyone a shot.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have to think, this is probably why people on POF put in their "Profession" 'section:

 

"I work" or something vague so they don't reveal what they do, purposely. lol As they don't want to be initially judged on their profession.

[GoodOnPaper]

I recall reading somewhere on a message board, not sure if it was here or elsewhere. That they avoided men in the STEM professions (first time I heard this acronym)

 

Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math

 

Claiming that any single man in this profession is socially awkward. Of course that's a stereotype, but I recall seeing historically posts about men in professions like these usually exude an awkward personality. Like they are too brainy to be suave.

 

They must imagine everyone in these fields to be academics. To be a scientist or engineer in the private sector and have any chance of upward career mobility, you have to be just as extroverted and networking-minded as people in any other business field. (Naturally, I wanted nothing to do with that - I'm quite at home as an academic.)

 

My daughter is a soon-to-be CPA. Fortunately the stereotype doesn't apply to women the say way.

 

You're right - it must have something to do with gender dynamics, but being a nerdy/geeky woman won't prevent her from having opportunities with men all across physical and socioeconomic spectra. In fact, most of the women STEM academic colleagues I have known are in quite noticeable opposites-attract, in some cases downright exotic, relationships. One's husband is in a rock band, another married someone from halfway around the world who travels internationally for a living, another is married to a college athletics coach, and that's just a small sampling.

[BluEyeL]

I recall reading somewhere on a message board, not sure if it was here or elsewhere. That they avoided men in the STEM professions (first time I heard this acronym)

 

Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math

 

Claiming that any single man in this profession is socially awkward. Of course that's a stereotype, but I recall seeing historically posts about men in professions like these usually exude an awkward personality. Like they are too brainy to be suave.

 

 

 

Hm. Wonder why that is?

That's nonsense. Men in STEM professions make good money and it's been said everywhere that income is big on women's lists for potential long term partners.

 

Personally I stayed away from artists.

[LookAtThisPOst]

That's nonsense. Men in STEM professions make good money and it's been said everywhere that income is big on women's lists for potential long term partners.

 

Personally I stayed away from artists.

 

Right, I know what you mean. Except some women had so many bad experiences with awkward men in that field, they just assume it's the profession that attracts the socially awkward men.

 

Like, these men don't keep up with fashions and dress generically, tend to be shut-ins and thus cannot communicate in a proper fashion.

 

I think a post here of a man that was in that very profession. YEAH, I remember him, he started a post here? Said he was he had a PhD in chemistry and he felt that he could only date women in his field, in some cases colleagues that he meets out and about at conferences and such...not necessarily co-workers.

 

In fact, it's encouraged to date those in similar professions (so says those in that industry) in order for there to be compatibility.

[Els]

Right, I know what you mean. Except some women had so many bad experiences with awkward men in that field, they just assume it's the profession that attracts the socially awkward men.

 

Like, these men don't keep up with fashions and dress generically, tend to be shut-ins and thus cannot communicate in a proper fashion.

 

I think a post here of a man that was in that very profession. YEAH, I remember him, he started a post here? Said he was he had a PhD in chemistry and he felt that he could only date women in his field, in some cases colleagues that he meets out and about at conferences and such...not necessarily co-workers.

 

In fact, it's encouraged to date those in similar professions (so says those in that industry) in order for there to be compatibility.

 

The vast majority of the guys I know in STEM have long term partners.

[BluEyeL]

Right, I know what you mean. Except some women had so many bad experiences with awkward men in that field, they just assume it's the profession that attracts the socially awkward men.

 

Like, these men don't keep up with fashions and dress generically, tend to be shut-ins and thus cannot communicate in a proper fashion.

 

I think a post here of a man that was in that very profession. YEAH, I remember him, he started a post here? Said he was he had a PhD in chemistry and he felt that he could only date women in his field, in some cases colleagues that he meets out and about at conferences and such...not necessarily co-workers.

 

In fact, it's encouraged to date those in similar professions (so says those in that industry) in order for there to be compatibility.

 

I'm sorry but I think that women who care more about how well dressed or entertaining a man is than his character and success are not good long term partners themselves and to be blunt...not very bright. So a bright man in a STEM profession shouldn't want them anyway. Of course, I get it, he still wants to bang them but yeah out of luck with that one.

 

Agreed that those in similar general fields should pair up though. It shouldn't be chemist-chemist but it does help if both are in STEM in general. It's pretty great to be able to talk about work with your SO, since work is such a big part of our lives.

 

OP should target a different type of woman, perhaps a scientist/engineer or someone in the finances field. Don't target women with no career goals of their own.

[Giaesquire]

Wow, that's amazing! Do these women only want to date men who are stunt drivers or Navy SEALs? Being an accountant is, true, not the most exciting profession. (A joke I remember from law school: the only difference between lawyers and accountants is that accountants KNOW they're boring.) But why would it need to be? I have dated men who worked in my profession and ones who don't, and either way, we don't talk about work much! I like the idea of making it a joke. When someone asks what you do, say something like "well, I've found that being on the FBI's ten most wanted list isn't something most employers are looking for." I'm sure you can do better, but you get the idea: it shows some personality and a sense of humor. I wish you very good luck!

[SwordofFlame]

I'm also a CPA, I've only dated other women who had "boring" jobs, in fact one was also an accountant. The times I've been on dates with someone in an artistic or creative field, it went nowhere. I guess they thought I was boring.

[Kamille]

You know what my biggest issue is when I'm out on a date with an accountant? I don't know how to follow up in the conversation.

 

See, normally it goes like this:

 

Person A: I'm a professor.

Person B: A professor? Of what?

Person A: Of biology. And then they can go on to talking about either the field or the experience of teaching.

 

With accountants its different. Accountants is one of those jobs we think we all know but actually don't. Very few of us have even a rudimentary understanding of what's involved, unlike professors, doctors, lawyers, etc. So the conversation goes something like this:

 

Person A: I'm an accountant.

Person B: oh. Ah. yes.

Crickets.

 

So next time you bring up your job, add something to the description. I'm an accountant - what I love most about my job is (xxx). That way she can pick up on that.

[MissBee]

Hi all,

I'm a long time lurker, but never made an account since I never had much to say.

 

 

Anyways, I feel like I have a problem in that my job title gets in the way of my attempts to get dates/female interest. And I was wondering if other people possibly experience the same or similar problem...if it is the problem.

 

 

Basically, I work as a professional accountant (think CPA or CA) not a bookkeeper which is completely different, but I seem to lose every girls' interest as soon as it gets mentioned. When I have the ability to get my foot in the door per se, I have to eventually mention what I do day-to-day but I get the "Oh..." and I'm back to square one.

 

 

I get it, accountant is probably the most boring job (I enjoy it actually (() but does it really degrade me that much?! I have a very stable job with above average pay, plenty of room to move vertically or horizontally and I'm only in my 20s! It's not like I'm constantly talking about my job here and there, I try to barely mention anything since I've realized that people are skittish about it.

 

 

I dunno, I'm just frustrated because I feel like my job title brings me down several notches and was wondering if others had similar experiences. And yes, I have thought about the possibility that I am boring and that it's not just my job (which is more likely the problem me thinks).

 

 

Ty for any input (:

 

This is strange.

 

Never in my life have I heard of accountants being people looked down upon or that folks are cautious about in dating. I get professions like police, firefighters, morticians, soldiers, things like that...people can have hangups about those, but I have not heard anyone in real life, on tv, in common culture look down on accountants as people they wouldn't want to date. Even if being an accountant is a "boring job" to someone, what does that have to do with having a relationship with you? Most women, especially those with their own career, would be happy you have a career, even if it is boring to them.

 

That said, I doubt your "job title" is what is causing these problems, so I'd assess other areas and aspects of your interactions with these women.

[Romantic Gentleman]

If you love what you do, then don't let it bother you so much. It may get frustrating when they lose interest in you, but just move on to the next one. You're only in your 20's so you've got plenty of time in finding someone!

[Popsicle]

If I were you, I'd quit using that word and replace it with something perhaps more descriptive and not, you know... like financial analyst or something. For more than fifty years now, all accountants are

 

Yes, I would do this if I were you.

[GemmaUK]

Do you just say 'I'm an accountant'?

 

I'm one myself but I never leave it at that, do you elaborate and sound like you enjoy it or anything?

[Standard-Fare]

There's no way your job title alone is acting as the dealbreaker you're making it out to be.

 

Being blunt, yes, accounting is boring and not that sexy. I doubt you'll ever find a woman who gets "excited" about that. However, it also comes with some positive associations: intelligence, good salary, stability. Also, it's no better or worse than the majority white-collar office jobs that many men have: consulting, budgeting, HR, PR, etc etc...

 

But really, your job shouldn't matter that much if you're bringing other things to the table that establish you as an interesting and well-rounded person. In your dating profile and early interactions, focus on those things - your hobbies and interests (hopefully you have some, and they're not dull), your sense of humor, your travels, your looks, your personal history. You need to be projecting some sense of passion in something.

 

I think most women would only run away from "accountant" if that seemed to be the sum total of what that man was - a boring, passionless guy in a suit.