Chris2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 I honestly don't remember the last time I asked a lady for her number. I'm 40 and often struggled. So I met a lady at a party. Had a good rapport with her. I asked for her number. She had me dial her number. That was good. Now what? Do I ask her out? I would like to. But to where? Restaurant? Activity? Coffee? Send her a text message? I don't want her to forget about me. When do I contact her? I know these should be simple answers, for the experienced, but they are not, for me. Prior to our number exchange, during our conversation I found out she works near by neighborhood. So I remarked maybe we could go to this one restaurant in the area, and she responded positively. But I don't know if I should run with that or not. I guess I'm a fake it, while learning to make it! Though if there's chemistry/compatibility, there's really nothing to fake? For now, I'm enjoying this one small long overdue victory! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 So I remarked maybe we could go to this one restaurant in the area, and she responded positively. But I don't know if I should run with that or not. Yes, run with it. Send a text that states something like, "Hey, how about we explore Blah-Blah restaurant this Thursday night?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Giaesquire Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Good for you! You should DEFINITELY ask her out! I would start with sending her a text message. Something along the lines of "it was great meeting you..." It seems more in your comfort zone than a phone call, but you will have to take the plunge and ask her out at some point. You are off to a really good start (she absolutely sounds interested). Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Dude, she's basically drawn you a map of exactly what to do! And that is, CALL her and ask her to go with you to the restaurant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 I texted her to get a feel for her interest level, before I do any calling--and texting is my comfort zone. I texted it was nice meeting her and if she'd be interested in meeting again. Her response, several of us will be going to an upcoming event. It was a one-liner comment. No, hey nice to hear from you or meet you too. I wasn't invited. It's not one on one. I haven't responded. How should I handle this? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Hope you enjoy your event. Would you like to go out to dinner with me on X or Y evening to Z restaurant? Then you'll know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 You go to the event, have fun and then ask her to the restaurant... Hurry up or she will think you are not interested. She has laid it out for you all you have to do is ask! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 The following advice seems to fit well with my situation. So I might flow with this. " ... you text, “How about dinner on Friday or Saturday?” She says: “Oh darn, I’m busy both days.” … Now who’s going to make the next move? Responding with, “How about next weekend then?” sounds a little desperate, so text something like: “Ah, too bad. I’ll hit you up another time.” Then, you wait a week or so and ask again. If she’s still busy, and still doesn’t propose an alternative time, then she’s probably not interested. In short, ... ask twice rather than once before cutting your losses." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Hope you enjoy your event. Would you like to go out to dinner with me on X or Y evening to Z restaurant? Then you'll know. You go to the event, have fun and then ask her to the restaurant... Hurry up or she will think you are not interested. She has laid it out for you all you have to do is ask! BluEyeL's suggestion seems to be fitting with me. Try asking one more time, and if no go, move on. I like the event. It seems interesting. I would go for the purpose of having fun/socializing--as I've wanted to in the past. I don't want to go with the purpose/mindset of meeting her, which is what's happening now. That's not good for me. I could always go to the next one (it's a reoccurring event). Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic Gentleman Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 Did you end up going to the event? I'm eager to know how everything went! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Author Share Posted August 26, 2016 Did you end up going to the event? I'm eager to know how everything went! The event is still upcoming. Not sure I can even get tickets to it. I'm not interested in the event so much as I'm interested in meeting her again and getting to know her more. But it doesn't seem like she's interested in one-on-one time. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 I honestly don't remember the last time I asked a lady for her number. I'm 40 and often struggled. So I met a lady at a party. Had a good rapport with her. I asked for her number. She had me dial her number. That was good. Now what? Do I ask her out? I would like to. But to where? Restaurant? Activity? Coffee? Send her a text message? I don't want her to forget about me. When do I contact her? I know these should be simple answers, for the experienced, but they are not, for me. Prior to our number exchange, during our conversation I found out she works near by neighborhood. So I remarked maybe we could go to this one restaurant in the area, and she responded positively. But I don't know if I should run with that or not. I guess I'm a fake it, while learning to make it! Though if there's chemistry/compatibility, there's really nothing to fake? For now, I'm enjoying this one small long overdue victory! The event is still upcoming. Not sure I can even get tickets to it. I'm not interested in the event so much as I'm interested in meeting her again and getting to know her more. But it doesn't seem like she's interested in one-on-one time. Being fairly familiar with your situation, you need more volume to get anywhere with women. Contacting one woman every few months is not gonna get it done. It might if you're lucky, but typically you need to improve your odds. I don't even remember how many times a woman gave me her number and wasn't interested in talking more, or had a great conversation at a party, then on the phone and she bailed on the date, or went on a date that seemed good and bailed after that. You get the point. It's not an easy game. I'm not trying to be negative, just don't overinvest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Author Share Posted August 26, 2016 Being fairly familiar with your situation, you need more volume to get anywhere with women. Contacting one woman every few months is not gonna get it done. It might if you're lucky, but typically you need to improve your odds. I don't even remember how many times a woman gave me her number and wasn't interested in talking more, or had a great conversation at a party, then on the phone and she bailed on the date, or went on a date that seemed good and bailed after that. You get the point. It's not an easy game. I'm not trying to be negative, just don't overinvest. Yeah, it's definitely not an easy game, add-on I've never really had much (positive) experiences. Props to guys who keep at it. Reading posts on LS definitely helps put things in perspective. Guys/gals get numbers; great conversations; go on dates; dating; and then nada. Regarding this particular lady, I'm not emotionally invested. She's definitely losing my interest too. The problem is I don't know how or where to meet volume of (single available) women. It'd be nice. The only place I could think of for that is OLD. But I don't know about that, and better thread carefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Author Share Posted August 26, 2016 I was thinking about how I communicate. On LS, sometime you see advice to OP, why don't you just communicate to the other person, what you posted to LS. I think what I could have communicated was, I'm interested in meeting her, but not at a crowded event, and see how she responds. I'm not going to do that now. Since she doesn't seem interested. But just reflecting what I could have communicated. Trying to improve my communication/relating skills also. We texted a little yesterday, but still not much enthusiasm from her. I don't know if she thinks I'm going to the event. I'm not. Yeah, this one is a wash. But I'm glad I tried for the phone number and it was real, lol! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 So she said no when you asked her on a date directly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Author Share Posted August 26, 2016 So she said no when you asked her on a date directly? I think she did say no. After we met at the party and I got her number, a couple days later I texted her. I texted, it was nice meeting her and if she'd be interested in meeting again. Her response, a bunch of us will be going to an upcoming event. It was a one-liner comment. I don't know her group. It's not a good response/sign, imo. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 I think she did say no. After we met at the party and I got her number, a couple days later I texted her. I texted, it was nice meeting her and if she'd be interested in meeting again. Her response, a bunch of us will be going to an upcoming event. It was a one-liner comment. I don't know her group. It's not a good response/sign, imo. Just see it through. Some women are quite conservative. They won't be comfortable with you unless they are in a group or see you several times. Link to post Share on other sites
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