dontplayme Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Hi all, I have recently fallen for a guy in work who is 10 years younger than me. It started with the lingering looks from him to me and he got my attention!! I find him very attractive and after finding out who he was and emailing...then texting we had arranged for a one time hook up (this did take nearly 3 months) anyway...we hooked up and since then I know i want a repeat! the thing is he has always remained quite mysterious (he's a scorpio) and was only very forward at the start then seemed to back off and let me do the communicating...he always replies but seems like it is me texting first. I asked about a repeat and he said "i thought you only wanted the one time" we don't work together and never speak or let on we know each other as we both don't want people to know...I am married and he doesn't want to be talked about. I know this is wrong and don't need to be told (i have my reasons and don't need to go into that) My question is how do I get him to be honest as he seems to love being the man of mystery that doesn't really say a lot and likes to keep me guessing. Its working as I can't stop thinking about him its driving me crazy. He has always been so nice but sometimes I wish he would just tell me thats it no more, thanks but no thanks grrrrr Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Or he just doesn't want to be your side dude. His response to hooking up again says that he doesn't really want to be involved. A man who wants to bone you is not going to ask questions when you bring it up. Besides "when" and "where". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Before you think this is like some romance movie taking place....all you were to him was a romp in the hay...there is no sizzling passion, playing games going on with him....it's all in your head. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 You wish he would be honest?? I think he was being honest when he said - he thought you wanted one time. The bigger question is, what are you doing fantasizing about a younger man when you are married. But, you don't really want to talk about that... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontplayme Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Hi all, I started something with a guy in work, he's 10 years younger than me and it all started with him smiling as we passed each other...this went on for months until I found out his name...didnt go looking, his pic popped up on an internal work email with name. I thought about it for a while then emailed him not thinking he would know who I was (big company) he knew straight away and after messaging and then exchanging mobile numbers as he didn't think what he had to say was appropriate for work we started sexting. He knew from the start I was married as when he asked i didn't hide it and both said it would be a one time hook up. (not that it makes things better but I had my reasons to along with it). After a few months had gone by as i went on holiday then he did, then he wasn't sure as didn't want to get caught up in any mess we hooked up. Since then I can't stop thinking about him (its been 4 weeks) and the thing is I have no idea what he is thinking really as he has always remained a bit of a mystery guy, which I know he likes. He's been single for 6 years and doesn't like to go into detail about anything really (he's a scorpio) he doesn't initiate messaging but always replies. I have told him I would like a replay and he said "I thought you only wanted a one time only" we have been sexting again but he has not committed o it happening again. How do I know what he is really thinking?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontplayme Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 when he said "I thought you only wanted a one time only" he never answered the question, just answered with anther question. What does he want? Im worried it is all in my head and I'm chasing something that aint there! but he initiated it? come to bed eyes the lot. I don't get why he isn't just honest...tell me thats it. I have given him opportunities too but its like he likes having me want him?? when I see him he gives me this stare and I just wish I knew what was going on behind it. The reason I started this was not revenge as I hadn't set out for that...my husband slept with another woman last year and i found out! when this guy got my attention I supposed I thought lets see what all the fuss is about. As I said, reasons in the background but no excuse for what I have done. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 It doesn't matter what he is thinking. You are married. Why are you playing around with someone at work? And - yes - to answer your thread title, he is playing you and is just in it for easy sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Are you serious? You cheated on your husband and you are worried that you got played? Duh! Let me guess, Your reasoning is...not enough attention, feel trapped in marriage, etc..the usual bullcrap excuses everyone trots out here. lol I get it. You really don'r care about your husband as long as he never finds out, right? Frankly if you even have to wonder if you are getting played, then you are about as clueless a person as I've seen come on this forum in a long time. Tell your husband and let him decide the direction of the marriage. You lost that right to determine his future the second you undertook this farce. He at the very least has earned the right to know what type of person he is married to. Hope this is all worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Him not arranging another romp is his way of saying "I'm not interested in continuing anything." When they answer a question with a question....they don't really want to come out and say it. I bet money on it he is just hoping you will get the hint, rather than face the wrath of a rejected woman. "I thought you only wanted to just the one time?" translation: "I just wanted to do it the one time". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontplayme Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 but now I feel like...I will get him again!! Its all so new...I have told him that I'm a big girl and he just needs to be honest with me. He's told me he's not sure...but then talks about what he'll do to me!! its like mixed signals to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author dontplayme Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 He knows! I told him and in answer to your question... no i thought my husband was everything until he slept with a 21 year old last year... then strangely my opinion changed. I was the woman who used to strongly disagree when other woman said "all men are the same" mine wasn't...he was my rock and soul mate. Just teaches you that you never know and that I was obviously not enough for him. Hence why I thought "lets see what its all about" when this guy was getting my attention. No it doesn't make it even because I've done the same but I feel better!! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Hard to say for sure but it does sound like he may be playing you. Ppl who like to go around w airs of mystery usually do it for a reason - aside from being intriguing it's much easier to hide your agenda that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 He knows! I told him and in answer to your question... no i thought my husband was everything until he slept with a 21 year old last year... then strangely my opinion changed. I was the woman who used to strongly disagree when other woman said "all men are the same" mine wasn't...he was my rock and soul mate. Just teaches you that you never know and that I was obviously not enough for him. Hence why I thought "lets see what its all about" when this guy was getting my attention. No it doesn't make it even because I've done the same but I feel better!! Why sink to his level then? A Revenge affair is rarely the answer. You could have just gotten divorced you know. Revenge affairs may be short term confidence boost, but in the end you are still just nothing but a common cheater. Good Luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 but now I feel like...I will get him again!! Its all so new...I have told him that I'm a big girl and he just needs to be honest with me. He's told me he's not sure...but then talks about what he'll do to me!! its like mixed signals to me Jeez, if you're gonna cheat, at least find somebody who wants to do it with you. This guy is hesitating, which means the initial sex must not have been very good. It's no strings attached sex and he's not jumping at it. This should be a sign to you that this is the wrong thing to be doing. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Is he playing you? Nah, congratulations...You played yourself. You were cheated on. That sucks and I know the feeling all too well. But here's the thing, you don't stay and then justify your cheating ways because you accepted someone's bad behavior in the past. You should have left if you weren't happy about it. Then you would be single to roll around with as many or as few men as you desired. But as it stands, you're just as wrong as your husband was. You guys are a match made in heaven...all three of you. Best of luck but you already know this won't end well. Link to post Share on other sites
AnthonyChatter Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Hi! My first question is how old is he, because you never ask a lady for her age. Depends on that how old are two of you, whether he was ready for something greater. I have a funny story about that, good friend of mine used to hang out on some dating sites like Party line and Voiceroulette and she met her husband. Before they got married he didn't want anything serious in first place. P.S. He was younger 15 years. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 **testing...one, two, three...is this mic on?** OP, you're the only one here who isn't getting it. HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN ANOTHER ROMP! The second he answered your question with a question would have been my que to cut and run. Do you need him to sign it in blood for you? Are you that disillusion that you can't tell by his ACTIONS that he's just not interested? You want to continue punishing your husband by sleeping around with other men, fine, but this guy is done with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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