FWB that loves me but keeps saying we can't be together

[Skippy1988]

We have been seeing each other for 9 months, it was supposed to just be FWB but we fell in love. Basically we had a nasty break 5 months ago ( I left her for another girl b/c she kept saying we can't workout long term and it got to me, I felt it was her rejecting me). After I was with the new girl i couldn't stop thinking of my old FWB. I eventually dumped the new girl and we back to her. We've been seeing each other again for 3 solid months now again and things have never been better! Only thing is, she still always writes me these long love text messages that end in her saying "I love you and care for you deeply but we can't be anything more, it's just not realistic blah blah blah". Mind you when I was leaving her the first time (after she was always saying this then too throughout our relationship) she said "I was wrong it can work, love can concur all", she begged me to stay with her and everything. So now I'm just confused again, how does someone end something that they enjoy so much, she loves me and says how im like a perfect match for her and our connection is rare. And she's doing this all over again! fall in love, she says we cant be, then when i leave she crys and says it can work.

 

 

TL;DR: How could a girl think about leaving you if she loves you like crazy, just based on reality?

 

Can anyone help me here?

[JewelD]

she doesn't love you, she just enjoys your company and wants to keep you around.

[Skippy1988]

she doesn't love you, she just enjoys your company and wants to keep you around.

 

She does love me! I know it. we say it all the time to each other. she just says it can't workout bc the age difference. I'm 28 she's 44. But she wants to keep hanging out casually, I just don't get how she would break us off someone she loves and cares for and evrything. I don't understand how someone could intentionally do that to themselves, and when does it occur ugh

[SammySammy]

FWB requires a certain level of maturity. An ability to separate sex and love.

 

If you two can't have a FWB relationship without falling in love and having all the drama, then you just need to end it.

 

FWB relationships are not for everyone and that's okay. Some people need to be in a committed relationship or not. She's not willing to commit to you, so ... it's best to not be in a relationship at all.

[Methodical]

There is a 16 year age gap. I believe she cares/loves you, but at the same time, she is keeping her expectations realistic to prevent a devastating broken heart scenario later on down the line.

 

A quick example that comes to mind is an Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore situation. The problem is she has already fallen harder than she wants to admit. I think, to a degree, she is lying to herself while trying to convince you to believe her facade.

[CarrieT]

she just says it can't workout bc the age difference. I'm 28 she's 44.

Believe her.

[Gloria25]

There is a 16 year age gap. I believe she cares/loves you, but at the same time, she is keeping her expectations realistic to prevent a devastating broken heart scenario later on down the line.

 

A quick example that comes to mind is an Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore situation. The problem is she has already fallen harder than she wants to admit. I think, to a degree, she is lying to herself while trying to convince you to believe her facade.

 

THANK YOU ^^

 

I really liked recent dude, but his age (26) was an issue. Big time.

 

Like trying to communicate to him. It's like he just never "got it" when with my FWB before him (42 yrs old), I didn't have such issues.

 

Then, it's like he still had a 20's rebellious thing going on - where he thinks I'm his mom and trying to control him or something.

 

Lastly, stages in life. He's just beginning his. I'm sorta "been there/done that" phase where I don't bunk with roommates anymore and I'm independent. So, I think he felt self-conscious about that - when it's not his fault, we're just at different stages in life.

 

I met him around October last year, but didn't give it a shot till like a few months ago cuz on top of other crap I was dealing with (family, stress, money) I was concerned about the same things I mentioned above (age, student, immature, wanting to sleep around), but I gave it the good o'l try and yep, isssssueeeeesss.

 

So it's not a rejection of "you" and she's not using you. She just has "been there and done that" where as much as she adores you, it's gonna be a lot of headache and/or heartache.

 

Demi and Ashton had a decent run (eight years), but still, he left her for a younger person, closer to his age (Mila Kunis) and yep, they just popped out kid two and are all over each other - as if Demi was a "blip" in his past. The woman had a freakin' meltdown around the time they broke up.

[Skippy1988]

There is a 16 year age gap. I believe she cares/loves you, but at the same time, she is keeping her expectations realistic to prevent a devastating broken heart scenario later on down the line.

 

A quick example that comes to mind is an Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore situation. The problem is she has already fallen harder than she wants to admit. I think, to a degree, she is lying to herself while trying to convince you to believe her facade.

 

 

 

I think you're right too to be honest. Based off the fact that in our first stint together, she would say at least every 2 weeks how she loves me, our connection is amaiNg, we're so compatible....but how it would never work out long term. Every message I got like this from her was a stab to my heart. Till eventually in February (shortly before the end, before I knew the end was coming) I asked her to be my girlfriend, she said she can't. Once I left her she was crying, sad, upset and all saying how "it can work. We can make it work. Love concurs all". At this point I thought she was just saying that then to try to keep me around (you want what you can't have kinda idea)

 

I just feel if I were to leave again she'd act the exact same, doesnt make sense. I almost want to say "remember what happened last time when you kept saying this kinda stuff", but that would prob make her feel like crap and be upset at me

[gaius]

It's weird, we live in a time where it's perfectly socially acceptable for two guys to bang each other up the ass because they don't have parts that even fit together, or for Bruce Jenner to put on a dress and a wig and everyone has to just pretend he's really a woman, but if a woman happens to fall in love with a man who's just younger than her it's often treated with immense derision, both subtlety and directly. It can be incredibly hard for a woman to accept being in love with a younger guy these days.

 

If this is the girl you love and you want to make it work skippy you kind of have to stop taking her rejection personally and become the bedrock of the relationship. Be persistent but patient. Tell her what you feel, what you want and don't take no for an answer. Make her feel safe with you despite all the nonsense she's gonna hear about the age gap. And by all means, don't leave her again for some other girl you don't even want because you feel spited. It's not personal man.

 

I met a very special girl a while back with about the same age difference and I feel lucky every day to have her in my life. She's the love of my life. And it pains me to think of what I might have missed if I listened to some of the nonsense people have to say or insinuate about this kind of stuff. So good luck to you skippy.

[preraph]

The guy I was the most in love with took a temporary break in our relationship to sleep with my oldest friend. I still know him 40 years later but I would never ever be able to trust him again because he hurt me deeply. I have loved him and hated him and loved him and finally settled on friendship. I think only people who haven't totally given their heart and trust to someone can't understand it'll never be the same once someone has cheated. You can often get back with them, but they will NEVER feel the same about you.

[lily999]

I think she does love you but afraid of being hurt, so she was being defensive saying stuff like that to see your reaction ?

[CupCakess]

It's weird, we live in a time where it's perfectly socially acceptable for two guys to bang each other up the ass because they don't have parts that even fit together, or for Bruce Jenner to put on a dress and a wig and everyone has to just pretend he's really a woman, but if a woman happens to fall in love with a man who's just younger than her it's often treated with immense derision, both subtlety and directly. It can be incredibly hard for a woman to accept being in love with a younger guy these days.

 

If this is the girl you love and you want to make it work skippy you kind of have to stop taking her rejection personally and become the bedrock of the relationship. Be persistent but patient. Tell her what you feel, what you want and don't take no for an answer. Make her feel safe with you despite all the nonsense she's gonna hear about the age gap. And by all means, don't leave her again for some other girl you don't even want because you feel spited. It's not personal man.

 

I met a very special girl a while back with about the same age difference and I feel lucky every day to have her in my life. She's the love of my life. And it pains me to think of what I might have missed if I listened to some of the nonsense people have to say or insinuate about this kind of stuff. So good luck to you skippy.

 

The reason its look down upon is because it rarely works in the long run. There is a diference between having sex and fun for a few months or even years, and having an actual lasting relationship for decades.

 

Most of these examples are between men in their mid 20's with women in their 40's. Usually at a time for both of them when neither wants a serious commitment: the men usually college at the stage of enjoying life, and the women after having been divorced, looking for fun.

 

Very few relationships such as this can become a true commitment that lasts for decades.

[Timshel]

The reason its look down upon is because it rarely works in the long run. There is a diference between having sex and fun for a few months or even years, and having an actual lasting relationship for decades.

 

Most of these examples are between men in their mid 20's with women in their 40's. Usually at a time for both of them when neither wants a serious commitment: the men usually college at the stage of enjoying life, and the women after having been divorced, looking for fun.

 

Very few relationships such as this can become a true commitment that lasts for decades.

 

Haha, agree. Gaius is in his 30's. Men in their 20's typically don't marry and most probably shouldn't.

However, lot's of marriages don't last for decades.....even when all the stars and stats are perfectly aligned.

 

If your gf isn't comfortable/secure for a long term relationship with you Skippy...then you'll need to let her go. It takes two.

[Gloria25]

Haha, agree. Gaius is in his 30's. Men in their 20's typically don't marry and most probably shouldn't.

However, lot's of marriages don't last for decades.....even when all the stars and stats are perfectly aligned.

 

If your gf isn't comfortable/secure for a long term relationship with you Skippy...then you'll need to let her go. It takes two.

 

The problem isn't comfort/security of his gf. Problem is reality of the age gap. It's like trying to fit a square into a circle.

 

Again, I recently tried a 26 yr old and I'm 40. Communication was an issue and he was immature. My FWB before him (a 42 yr old guy). Didn't give me half the trouble. I mean, me trying to explain to this 26 yr old about simply texting a day/time to meet as if I was speaking to someone from another planet or that I'm trying to marry him or mommy him, yet somehow with only email, my 42yr old guy and I only spoke once or twice a week to set up a meet and never any drama - unlike my 26 yr old.

 

Thanks to my recent experience with that age gap, won't be going through that headache again....even for something casual.

[Gloria25]

The reason its look down upon is because it rarely works in the long run. There is a diference between having sex and fun for a few months or even years, and having an actual lasting relationship for decades.

 

Most of these examples are between men in their mid 20's with women in their 40's. Usually at a time for both of them when neither wants a serious commitment: the men usually college at the stage of enjoying life, and the women after having been divorced, looking for fun.

 

Very few relationships such as this can become a true commitment that lasts for decades.

 

Exactly...

 

I was beyond smitten with my 26yr old guy, but tried to hold back. I think that made him think that I wanted to marry him or use him like a boy-toy, yet it was neither. I just wanted to enjoy his company and not get too close.

 

One thing is I should have kept my mouth shut cuz if I didn't scare him into thinking that I'm trying to hold him down and marry, I probably made him feel like he didn't mean much to me...and again, it was neither.

 

Then, I believe that I got comfortable and opened up cuz he started taking about "needing" to get with me, not simply "wanting" to...wanting to do sleepovers, etc...and, boy that fooled me. I mean, I don't think that he was trying to marry me either, but thought he wanted to do more than bedroom meet ups...boy, I was wrong. Cuz, as soon as he was supposed to be getting free time from studies, he broke up with me and used the moving in proposal I did as an excuse when he probably already made his mind up to chuck me.

 

My sis-in-law's friend, who is 42 just moved in with a 23yr old. Yes, I thought/think it is ridiculous and I don't agree with shack-ups for many reasons, but the other day sis-in-law was giving me an update and her friend said that she is done raising her son and just wants to enjoy life. She said the 23yr old is like a roommate. They agreed on expenses and he's a hard working young guy. And, I pretty much had the same idea with my guy. No, we probably won't last forever, but while he's getting started with his career, bunking with me would be mutually beneficial. But oh well, he probably ran back home to mommy.

 

So, I don't know what idea my 26yr old guy thought I had in mind when I proposed moving in, but like his immaturity, he preferred to balk instead of communicate.

 

So, there goes my attempt to have a mutually beneficial thing with a flghty 20something guy. How do these other Cougars pull it off? Again, I have no game and am lame

[oldshirt]

Athol Kay who is the author of "The Married Man Sexlife Primer" and operator of the Married Man Sexlife forums has stated that a man that is in a relationship with an older woman either has a fundamental problem with his game or has some kind of confidence issue that is keeping him from pursuing activities with younger, fitter and prettier women.

 

I think that is kind of harsh in that we all have our own preferences and we tend to be drawn to the people we are drawn to whether others think we should or not.

 

But I do think his position has some merit and I think one is wise to soul-search and see if it fits.

 

For a 28 year old man to want to commit to a relationship with a woman well into her 40s is cause for concern.

 

It's one thing to want a ONS or even a NSA fling for a temporary period of time, I mean we all have our MILF fantasies. But to want to engage in an actual committed relationship indefinitely is highly questionable.

 

There is so much difference is life-goals and ocjectives between the two.

 

It is reasonable for a 28 year old man to begin to think seriously about marriage and children and starting a family and building a home and future and career etc. A 44 year old woman is getting serious about retirement planning while still dealing with college tuition of her children.

 

and most women in their 40s would rather stick sharp objects in their eyes rather than go through pregnancy and diapers and midnight feedings again.

 

And then there is the issue of menopause.

 

How is a healthy early 30something year old man going to deal with menopause and her libido drops off the face of the earth and she grimaces in pain and pulls away any time he touch her dried out vagina (and no, extra lube does NOT help the discomfort of vaginal dryness due to menopause)

 

A 30 year old man still has 25 year old hottie pattotties hitting on him. How is he going to pass up young 20somethings shaking their flawless booties at him while his menopause wife has virtually no mojo left at the end of the day and her vagina resembles the Sahara desert?

 

Skippy, your older, wiser, more experienced and more worldly lady friend is right - it can't work. It may be fun and intriguing now while she is in her hypersexual phase and is uninhibited and doesn't care what the neighbors think any more. She may be the hot sexy MILF that we all dream about today.

 

But in just a few short years she will be going through a premenopausal stage where here hormones are all over the chart where she's a horny mink one moment and a pi$$ed off lunatic the next.

 

And then menopause will strike and her hormones will shut off like someone turned off the spigot and her libido will tank and she really won't care whether she ever has sex again or not and even if she agrees to throw you a bone to shut you up and keep you around, she'll squirm and grimance and grunt in pain with anything entering her jay-jay no matter how many gallons of the best lube money can buy that you use.

 

That's killing me now and I am 52 years old and starting to slow down and lose the mojo myself. If I were to go through this at 32 there is no way I would have lasted in the house a week.

 

Your lady is right - it can't last. It's not that you two don't love each other on some level. It's that you are at completely different life-stages and your life-stages are going to be incompatible with each other.

 

Find some hot little 25 year old that you can make a future with and a home and family with and will be able to live out decades with together.

Edited August 31, 2016 by oldshirt

[Gloria25]

Athol Kay who is the author of "The Married Man Sexlife Primer" and operator of the Married Man Sexlife forums has stated that a man that is in a relationship with an older woman either has a fundamental problem with his game or has some kind of confidence issue that is keeping him from pursuing activities with younger, fitter and prettier women.

 

I think that is kind of harsh in that we all have our own preferences and we tend to be drawn to the people we are drawn to whether others think we should or not.

 

But I do think his position has some merit and I think one is wise to soul-search and see if it fits.

 

For a 28 year old man to want to commit to a relationship with a woman well into her 40s is cause for concern.

 

It's one thing to want a ONS or even a NSA fling for a temporary period of time, I mean we all have our MILF fantasies. But to want to engage in an actual committed relationship indefinitely is highly questionable.

 

There is so much difference is life-goals and ocjectives between the two.

 

It is reasonable for a 28 year old man to begin to think seriously about marriage and children and starting a family and building a home and future and career etc. A 44 year old woman is getting serious about retirement planning while still dealing with college tuition of her children.

 

and most women in their 40s would rather stick sharp objects in their eyes rather than go through pregnancy and diapers and midnight feedings again.

 

And then there is the issue of menopause.

 

How is a healthy early 30something year old man going to deal with menopause and her libido drops off the face of the earth and she grimaces in pain and pulls away any time he touch her dried out vagina (and no, extra lube does NOT help the discomfort of vaginal dryness due to menopause)

 

A 30 year old man still has 25 year old hottie pattotties hitting on him. How is he going to pass up young 20somethings shaking their flawless booties at him while his menopause wife has virtually no mojo left at the end of the day and her vagina resembles the Sahara desert?

 

Skippy, your older, wiser, more experienced and more worldly lady friend is right - it can't work. It may be fun and intriguing now while she is in her hypersexual phase and is uninhibited and doesn't care what the neighbors think any more. She may be the hot sexy MILF that we all dream about today.

 

But in just a few short years she will be going through a premenopausal stage where here hormones are all over the chart where she's a horny mink one moment and a pi$$ed off lunatic the next.

 

And then menopause will strike and her hormones will shut off like someone turned off the spigot and her libido will tank and she really won't care whether she ever has sex again or not and even if she agrees to throw you a bone to shut you up and keep you around, she'll squirm and grimance and grunt in pain with anything entering her jay-jay no matter how many gallons of the best lube money can buy that you use.

 

That's killing me now and I am 52 years old and starting to slow down and lose the mojo myself. If I were to go through this at 32 there is no way I would have lasted in the house a week.

 

Your lady is right - it can't last. It's not that you two don't love each other on some level. It's that you are at completely different life-stages and your life-stages are going to be incompatible with each other.

 

Find some hot little 25 year old that you can make a future with and a home and family with and will be able to live out decades with together.

 

Harsh your post, but I agree with you and Timshel in part.

 

Yes, some guy wanting to marry and/or have kids with a significantly older woman may have some issues going on. But, like Timshel stated too, for a woman who has "been there/done that" and just wants some fun with a guy - a younger guy who isn't ready to settle down would be a decent and temporary match.

 

Where you're wrong is your comparison of some older women and some hot 25 yr old..

 

Me, I, I take care of myself and my libido is important to me if I have a man in my life. In other words, I'm not your typical 20 something who lets themselves go upon snagging a guy.

 

My neighbor that I used to post about? Not even two years into their marriage and wife (who is under 30) already packed on a bunch of weight, dropped nails/make-up; and, he's looking like crap too.

 

So, IMO, women like myself are more appealing to younger guys cuz unlike a 20s "girl", we're fit. We don't need them to spend money on us just in hopes to get laid or married. We have skills and experience. There's a cougar life commercial that's so cute.

 

http://https://youtu.be/aAmZwtSFHB8

 

And, for women like me, we're getting tired of guys our age, cuz they also stop taking care of themselves. The pot bellies, baggage from divorce, etc. I was fortunate that my 42yr old FWB had no kids, was VERY fit (MMA, mountain climbing, etc), and took care of himself. But guys like him, are getting harder to find and since they know they're a commodity, they usually are players.

 

So, not all of us older women are just put out to pasture and are wasting away. Many of us are a waaay better option for uncomplicated temporary relationships for younger guys and, that's what I want. I don't want to sleep around and no kids for me (maybe, maybe after three years in a stable marriage), and, I don't need some guy to pay half/all my bills. I just want regular "company" with a guy that I can adore walking around naked. Gosh, I do miss my 26yr old, 42yr old and most men I've dated. Just watching them naked, walking around makes me melt.....

 

I'm really disappointed at my recent attempt to have an "arrangement" with 26yr old guy. Some of my friends tell me that the type of RL that I'm seeking can't be found. It's either get married, have kids and entertwine my finances and life with some guy or sleep around. bleh

Edited August 31, 2016 by Gloria25

[gaius]

No offense oldshirt but you're speaking from your own experience, period. Dry vagina, her recoiling from your touch, sex being like laying on a bed of razor blades and all that other stuff you wrote, that's not every man's experience. It's yours man. Not mine for sure.

 

Maybe skippy will end up like you, maybe he'll end up like me, but that's true for him if he dated any aged woman. He might end up miserable or satisfied. It's up to him to pick and take that journey. This path has as much potential as any. And if it's the one he wants then it's the one he should take.

 

Hugh Jackman and wife Deborra-Lee Furness celebrate 20th anniversary St. Barts holiday | Daily Mail Online

[gaius]

People think she's the younger one when we go out. And I don't look particularly old. Timshel just looks like she's in her 30's. In shape and hot.

 

There is no one dynamic when it comes to older/younger.

Edited September 1, 2016 by gaius

[Timshel]

Notes to self:

 

Inform G. that I am a cougar

Tell G. that I have been using him for sex

Flinch when he touches me

Have an impartial bystander bounce a quarter off my *ss

Be b**chy

Buy lube

Plan life according to people on the internet

 

It's all good.

[Timshel]

The problem isn't comfort/security of his gf. Problem is reality of the age gap. It's like trying to fit a square into a circle.

 

Again, I recently tried a 26 yr old and I'm 40. Communication was an issue and he was immature. My FWB before him (a 42 yr old guy). Didn't give me half the trouble. I mean, me trying to explain to this 26 yr old about simply texting a day/time to meet as if I was speaking to someone from another planet or that I'm trying to marry him or mommy him, yet somehow with only email, my 42yr old guy and I only spoke once or twice a week to set up a meet and never any drama - unlike my 26 yr old.

 

Thanks to my recent experience with that age gap, won't be going through that headache again....even for something casual.

 

Whenever this topic arises, I have mixed thoughts about it Gloria. My ex husband was five years older than me. My late husband was seven years older. I have never dated, slept with or had a relationship with someone younger than myself before G.

I'm a conservative person, most people would describe my life as ordinary, simple. I am 100% sure that any person who knows me in real face to face life would never call me a cougar.....because I'm not.

 

I am pretty and won a genetic lottery for aging nicely...but who cares about that? I have come to appreciate it after taking it for granted most of my life. I was raised to be intellectual, smart, independent, kind. When I was a cheerleader, my dad told me he wished I was a nerd, hated it....even though I brought home straight A's and was accepted to both universities I applied.

I have had few relationships with men because I am cautious, the men I have been with I stayed with a long time.

 

Of course age is a factor in relationships...along with many other things. I can neither condemn or condone age gap relationships. People and circumstance are far too variable that I would make any sweeping judgement based on my own personal experience.

 

For your situation Gloria, I think that your picker is off, that's all. Either the guy is married or a player. I think that you are afraid to be emotionally intimate with a man because you have been badly hurt.

You choose men who validate your pain.

This has little to do with age gap and more about the particular human being that you fake try to find intimacy with.

 

I really hope that you are able to let go of fear and give a decent guy a chance; someone that you really can have a long term, loving relationship with. X as always.

[Gloria25]

Notes to self:

 

Inform G. that I am a cougar

Tell G. that I have been using him for sex

Flinch when he touches me

Have an impartial bystander bounce a quarter off my *ss

Be b**chy

Buy lube

Plan life according to people on the internet

 

It's all good.

 

Lol!!!

 

I just broke out in laughs!!!

[Skippy1988]

so basically I'm seeing this girl, we're FWB but says we can't be together bc age diff (she's 44 i'm 28), but we're both going to keep seeing how things go for now. We love each other and both don't want it to end.

 

Anyways, we usually always text throughout the day and she started acting weird a week ago. We had a fight Monday August 22nd. This is when I notice card it started. We hung out that Thursday August 25th. All seemed good after that I thought. Then I texted her "so with your schedule changing (she's getting promoted at her one job and dropping the other job) are you gonna keep hanging with me or are you gonna start looking for another guy now"?

 

She said " a little space would be good for now. Every time we hangout we get more entangled with each other. I don't need it, it would just be healthy"

 

I got offended and freaked out (bad I know, but I took it as she was jumping ship the first chance she got)

 

We argued a little bc of this.

Then she was acting diff still after this. Texting me back, sometimes texting me, but not being as flirty. (Still flirty just not as she used to be)

 

 

So I asked if she wanted to talk on the phone Tuesday and she said "I'm about to go to bed sorry. I just feel like I need some time for myself bc I always do everything for everyone, I need some time by myself. With leaving my job and all, I just feel blah" (she put her 2 week notice in August 23rd)

 

So then I said "if that's what you want, I'll give it to you. I understand where you're coming from"

 

She said "you have been awesome and your best is shining through"

 

We ended our convo with "" back to each other (she wrote the emojis first)

 

 

So that was Tuesday night August 30th, the next day (31st) she textes me "how's your day"

 

I keep it short, ask her she says "good just working"

 

 

Next day (September 1st) she textes "hope you're doing okay sexxxy"

 

I respond "I'm great thanks for asking"

 

And that's where we stand as of now. My question is, does she still want to see me eventually? I mean I looked back and thought and I was smothering her a lot so some time apart would help. I read time apart makes for a healthy relationship so I'm guessing it's just bc she's really stressed bc the job she's leavin that she really loves is stressing her. Any help would he grateful

 

Side note: we've Been doing this arrangement for 8 months with no problems.

 

TL;DR

Is she ending this or does she legitimately need/want space?

[Redhead14]

so basically I'm seeing this girl, we're FWB but says we can't be together bc age diff (she's 44 i'm 28), but we're both going to keep seeing how things go for now. We love each other and both don't want it to end.

 

Anyways, we usually always text throughout the day and she started acting weird a week ago. We had a fight Monday August 22nd. This is when I notice card it started. We hung out that Thursday August 25th. All seemed good after that I thought. Then I texted her "so with your schedule changing (she's getting promoted at her one job and dropping the other job) are you gonna keep hanging with me or are you gonna start looking for another guy now"?

 

She said " a little space would be good for now. Every time we hangout we get more entangled with each other. I don't need it, it would just be healthy"

 

I got offended and freaked out (bad I know, but I took it as she was jumping ship the first chance she got)

 

We argued a little bc of this.

Then she was acting diff still after this. Texting me back, sometimes texting me, but not being as flirty. (Still flirty just not as she used to be)

 

 

So I asked if she wanted to talk on the phone Tuesday and she said "I'm about to go to bed sorry. I just feel like I need some time for myself bc I always do everything for everyone, I need some time by myself. With leaving my job and all, I just feel blah" (she put her 2 week notice in August 23rd)

 

So then I said "if that's what you want, I'll give it to you. I understand where you're coming from"

 

She said "you have been awesome and your best is shining through"

 

We ended our convo with "" back to each other (she wrote the emojis first)

 

 

So that was Tuesday night August 30th, the next day (31st) she textes me "how's your day"

 

I keep it short, ask her she says "good just working"

 

 

Next day (September 1st) she textes "hope you're doing okay sexxxy"

 

I respond "I'm great thanks for asking"

 

And that's where we stand as of now. My question is, does she still want to see me eventually? I mean I looked back and thought and I was smothering her a lot so some time apart would help. I read time apart makes for a healthy relationship so I'm guessing it's just bc she's really stressed bc the job she's leavin that she really loves is stressing her. Any help would he grateful

 

Side note: we've Been doing this arrangement for 8 months with no problems.[/

 

 

 

TL;DR

Is she ending this or does she legitimately need/want space?

we've Been doing this arrangement for 8 months with no problems.

-- So??? Problems happen when they happen . . .

 

Is she ending this or does she legitimately need/want space?

 

Probably both . . . leave her be. When someone tells me they want space, I become NASA. And, if the take too much space and want to come back, they may not have a landing place for their aircraft.

[Skippy1988]

I just feel like she legitimately needs space and is planing on coming back, why else would she be checking in on me when she said she wanted space?