Giourkas2 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I saw a girl a few times and we really enjoyed each others company. We got along great constant texting back and forth. After the last time we met we planned a few more things we can do together. Then she had some trouble at work. I was way too clingy and low on confidence and I am sure she saw this. Before a date she wasn't getting back to me i got drunk and messaged her that it wasn't fair what she was doing. She got back to me telling me that she thinks we are not compatible (I don't see this being true given how well everything was going. Anyways she suggested friends I said no cause I have feelings she said didn't feel the same. Then I told her we should be friends it's a good idea. Went to my therapist who stupidly suggested that I tell her it won't work. I told her this that its doing me no good because I have feelings. Then realized I was blowing things out of proportion and told her this and apologized. Kept it light set up a date a few days ago she followed up when I didn't message to follow up. We went out had a great time and she mentioned during our conversation she has huge commitment issues and even the last serious relationship she was in she said no to be being serious and changed her mind. I haven't messaged her nor has she messaged me. What do I do Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Being insecure and needy is the right thing to do if you never want to see her again. If you do want a chance, stop chasing her. She rejected you, proposed friends. You relented and agreed. In her mind you have no self worth. Next move is wait for her to reach out to you. When she does, setup the next date and hang up. In order to be happy she needs you to be a man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Being insecure and needy is the right thing to do if you never want to see her again. If you do want a chance, stop chasing her. She rejected you, proposed friends. You relented and agreed. In her mind you have no self worth. Next move is wait for her to reach out to you. When she does, setup the next date and hang up. In order to be happy she needs you to be a man. I second this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giourkas2 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 So it's been a little over a week since last met. We texted back and forth the entire weekend and she initiated contact the one day. After contact stopped a few hours later she tried to start up conversation the next. She is very busy at work so the texting dies down during the week. I still have not texted her since Sunday evening and waiting for her to contact me is killing me. I want to be out of the friend zone so badly. I know deep down that my pushing her to commit so soon is what was my undoing. How can I phrase my asking her out with out seeming way to needy? I want to see her again this weekend so badly. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If this girl was the right fit, it would just click. There would be no work, guessing games, waiting for texts, feelings of insecurities, it would just feel natural with mutual reciprocation. Now that you had a final encounter to smooth things over and it went well, I'd just let it die out now. If you do this, you went out on a high note with positives and you kept your dignity not chasing her or looking desperate. She already stated she had commitment issues, this is a code for "I'm not too into you so I'm building in this excuse that way if someone better comes along or I lose interest again I can just say 'I told you I had commitment issues' and I don't look like the bad guy" Look, I know it's hard on the ego when you like someone and don't feel it's reciprocated. But hey, she seems wishy washy and not worth the work and effort. SHE isn't ready and you could use a little work on your own security so I'd quietly back away, cease any texts, stop trying and enjoy fall, football season, go to the gym, write or journal, draw closer to your friends and look at your self esteem. A girlfriend shouldn't complete you or make you happy, you gotta do that within yourself. A girlfriend will just compliment you and make you a better person and support your goals but if you are unhappy inside whilst single, you won't be happy in a relationship either. It's time to focus on YOU. FORGET this flaky girl. Sounds like you treated her nice, yah, you might have been needy, but wait until she has a cheating disrespectful verbally abusive boyfriend to compare you to. I'd let this go, you learned some stuff, I'd not give her another chance to be flaky and non commital again. Just be glad you could end on a good note. No need for a dramatic ending or "breakup" you weren't really together so let it naturally fade politely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Giourkas2 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Until I showed how needy and insecure I was it did click it went very well. If I didn't message her for a bit I would get her asking me if something was wrong or telling me I forgot about her. Even after the second time we went out she was constantly texting me it just went bad for a week. She had **** going on and I was afraid of losing her so I became needy. We even planned a few more things we do together. During the second date we were discussing children what we would do in our future lives together (she brought it up) so much good for it to just dissapear. That's what makes it so difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
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