Are we compatible?

[Shanex]

Lately, I have been chatting a lady met online. I am 32, she is turning 27 in a few months. She lives barely 15 minutes a drive. She is fairly attractive. She has her own place, car and she works and will even have bigger responsibilities soon. So far, that's more than enough to be excited, for me anyway.

 

She wasn't the easy to get type, only got her number after discussing quite a lot on the site and didn't see her face in the meantime as she had no pics on. I know, could have been a catfish or a scammer of some sort but talking on the phone reassured me. The pics received too.. She is for real. Ah, it's been about ten days now and we were busy. We are meeting later this week, have to figure out which day we can schedule.. I suggested something simple, but usually efficient: Going for a walk somewhere quiet and why not have a drink afterwards. I am considering a restaurant even if it's date #1. Why not? We get along pretty well, and I like some improvisation in my dates, as long as it goes well.

 

Only thing that could make this a bit difficult, because I would like a long term relationship at the moment is we have different lifestyle. I.E, I am the introvert, stay indoors kind of guy whereas she prefer and enjoy going out more. You know, the kind of person that 'Can't sit doing nothing'.. Even after a hard days work.

 

However, she told me that when she is settled in a steady RS, she is also less outgoing, obviously, I won't be the one locking her up like a canari. I'm hardly jealous.. For me, it's the other way around though, when I am single like now, I'm not that interested in going out and hanging out except for a few friends and relatives, whereas I try to when I have a girlfriend. Staying in all the time can drive the ladies mad. I've known this for a while.

 

This is already lenghty enough and I'll therefore conclude with this question: Are we compatible as two different personalities? Should I wait until we met a couple times to figure out? She told me pretty bluntly the other day that if we aren't RS material, we could wangle a FWB. She is lacking some intimacy, and so do I and I'm not against it.. But if we happen to 'click', I'd hope for more than a cold, weeks or at best a few months FWB.

 

Are two different personalities, an introvert guy and his counterpart extraverted female compatible in the long run from your experiences?

[CarrieT]

You are WAY overthinking this considering you haven't met her yet.

 

Calm down. Slow down. And don't project how personality TYPES might work in a hypothetical when there are too many variables with people.

 

You are already pigeonholing her as a "type" when you don't even know if it will go to a second date.

[Shanex]

You are WAY overthinking this considering you haven't met her yet.

 

Calm down. Slow down. And don't project how personality TYPES might work in a hypothetical when there are too many variables with people.

 

You are already pigeonholing her as a "type" when you don't even know if it will go to a second date.

 

Granted, I have always been an overthinker.. And even more so when I haven't been on a date in a bit. I can't label or pigeonhole her as a type quite yet when we haven't met, that's correct. But I am not criticizing.. Rather wondering.

 

The date could be as soon as Friday, hopefully. No stress on my part though. Talking on the phone numerous times did help me realise this could go well. A phone call tells already a bit about the person and so far, it's positive.

[MissBee]

Lately, I have been chatting a lady met online. I am 32, she is turning 27 in a few months. She lives barely 15 minutes a drive. She is fairly attractive. She has her own place, car and she works and will even have bigger responsibilities soon. So far, that's more than enough to be excited, for me anyway.

 

She wasn't the easy to get type, only got her number after discussing quite a lot on the site and didn't see her face in the meantime as she had no pics on. I know, could have been a catfish or a scammer of some sort but talking on the phone reassured me. The pics received too.. She is for real. Ah, it's been about ten days now and we were busy. We are meeting later this week, have to figure out which day we can schedule.. I suggested something simple, but usually efficient: Going for a walk somewhere quiet and why not have a drink afterwards. I am considering a restaurant even if it's date #1. Why not? We get along pretty well, and I like some improvisation in my dates, as long as it goes well.

 

Only thing that could make this a bit difficult, because I would like a long term relationship at the moment is we have different lifestyle. I.E, I am the introvert, stay indoors kind of guy whereas she prefer and enjoy going out more. You know, the kind of person that 'Can't sit doing nothing'.. Even after a hard days work.

 

However, she told me that when she is settled in a steady RS, she is also less outgoing, obviously, I won't be the one locking her up like a canari. I'm hardly jealous.. For me, it's the other way around though, when I am single like now, I'm not that interested in going out and hanging out except for a few friends and relatives, whereas I try to when I have a girlfriend. Staying in all the time can drive the ladies mad. I've known this for a while.

 

This is already lenghty enough and I'll therefore conclude with this question: Are we compatible as two different personalities? Should I wait until we met a couple times to figure out? She told me pretty bluntly the other day that if we aren't RS material, we could wangle a FWB. She is lacking some intimacy, and so do I and I'm not against it.. But if we happen to 'click', I'd hope for more than a cold, weeks or at best a few months FWB.

 

Are two different personalities, an introvert guy and his counterpart extraverted female compatible in the long run from your experiences?

 

If you've not met in person yet, you're putting the cart before the horse.

 

Go on dates, get to know her in real life, feel each other out face to face and whether you're compatible or not will become clearer and more concrete.

 

There are many couples where one is introverted and the other is not or one is a homebody and the other isn't. It's usually more about respecting each other's tendencies and giving each other the space to do what is comfortable and compromising (going out sometimes with them if you're the homebody, or being cool with them going out without you or as the one who likes to go out, staying in sometimes). Problems arise if it becomes a need to control or prevent the other person from doing what is comfortable for them. But all this isn't worth worrying about until you actually have gone out and are establishing something.

[Gloria25]

I feel ya, if its a date that I'm into, I start doing ten scenarios in my head.

 

Just relax and have a great date!!!

[Popsicle]

It's ok to think a lot but while you're thinking just make sure you meet her and keep seeing her live in person for several weeks before you conclude anything.

[Shanex]

Feeling like this needed a quick update since you guys helped.

 

I was definitely over thinking, but I can't help myself. As Gloria aptly wrote above, when there's so much chemistry with someone, even only texting or calling, you're a bit impatient and we eventually met. We've met a number of times already since I started this thread.

 

Things are going great, we go out a lot with the still pleasant weather, have drinks together, visited each other places. And this is definitely going to be a relationship. We haven't talked about exclusivity but neither of us are going to ''look around''. It's been a few weeks.

 

Thanks for helping, everyone. I won't update this thread any more since I don't want it to become my ''journal'' about us. However you were owed the continuity of the ongoing romance.