She contacted me again after months

[Earlybird2016]

I have to ask, what exactly are you trying to accomplish by posting in this thread? You have lots of negativity towards the future. You're down in the hole and we're giving you hints on how you could manage to crawl out, but it seems like you want to stay down that hole. Unless you choose to break the status-quo and do something to get out of the stalemate you're in, no one can help you.

 

You have to choose to improve your life. Are you happy right now? Where do you want to be in your life 5 years from now? And no, hoping to be back with her is not a realistic goal.

 

My suggestion, as everyone else's is to go NC. Keeping the door open just keeps the wound fresh. But do initiate a text. It should read something like : "I need to kindly ask you to stop contacting me. I need this in order to heal myself and move on.". Then you can block her, just in case. That way you won't have constant thoughts about whether or not she contacted you while you blocked her. In all likelihood, she will respect your request.

 

Or go the total opposite. Ask her to go for a coffee. Do ask her what her intentions are. Why is she sending those texts. Try to get closure and then, cut contact. You CAN'T stay friends with someone you still have feelings for. You'll just drive yourself crazy with the tiniest hints of hope.

 

But whatever you do, don't keep doing what you're currently doing, it doesn't work.

 

5 years from now? I don't know. I guess I have most things I'd need, a good job, supportive friends, a nice home. I guess the only thing I'd want is a partner and children of my own but that's unlikely now if she's not coming back.

[marky00]

I do get where your going with this. I have felt the same for almost 18 months, most of which has been NC.

 

 

But I do agree that when I really think about it, a recon can only work if she was to truly see the errors in her ways and most importantly realises that its just not cool to be in a relationship for many years and then just walk because her partner finds himself in a slightly inferior position due to life issues outside the relationship.

 

 

Yes, I can respect my ex's decision to leave in a sense but as other posters have said, had she been exposed to other life experiences ... then and only then .... she may be able to empathise.

 

 

I was her first but she was my 4th.... so I think that was always going to be a pressure-cooker situation.

 

 

I still have quite often have feelings of anger, self-reflection etc. One day, when I am at least 90 percent healed, I will find a way to square the ledger. I am not the revenge type of person but in my case, it will be sweet to get that last piece of closure and tell her to get F****ed.

[Dusty72]

Earlybird , I do feel your pain , having read this entire thread I felt compelled to post...although I was not ghosted , I was separated last year- Sept 2015 (been together 5 years married 3 and a half years) and got divorced in May 2016 , my 'ex wife' whom has a new dude in the picture , kept initiating contact all throughout the past year ...the trouble was I thought to myself , 'oh If i hang around and try to convince her that I have changed etc etc , then she will see me in a different light and I can hopefully reconcile with her' that aint gonna happen..

 

Well , I kept trying to tell her not to contact me but she kept reeling me back in with texts saying "why can't we be friends " ...eventually I kept caving in and we would meet for a meal or drinks on occasions , phone calls , texts etc whilst she was still with her new guy , although nothing happened , only a peck on the cheek at the end of the evening was all i ever got post break up , she never told her boyfriend that she was meeting me .

 

I kept this charade going as being her pseudo friend until she told me the last time i met her for a drink was that before our separation her mother got involved and told her that if she didn't divorce me or if she got back with me at all ..then she would cut her (my ex) out of her will ....hmmm nice !!!

 

So as soon as she told me this , the penny dropped and I sent her an email a week later saying enough is enough , so I am into 26 days of No contact!!

 

She did text me less than a week later , but i ignored it , haven't blocked her as yet , but I am not ready to be friends or anything like that at all .....I have come to my senses that I am never going to get back with this girl , even is she wanted to , which A) she doesn't B) she has a new guy she has been seeing for 6 months and C) her mother will cut her out of her will (she is a narcissist and means it believe me).

 

Anyway the point of this long winded post is that sometimes we just have to let go and move on ...I'm hurting like hell still , mainly because I should have gone NC from day one and kept to it , but I tried and got breadcrumbs which kept me 'holding on ' so to speak ....don't do it , love yourself , have some self respect and dignity ...go NO contact , yes it gets worse before it gets better or so I am told but I now know that there is no way back for me so I need to stay strong and move on by using No contact ....

 

Only when I am fully healed , which could take another 6 months will I be ready to contact her ...but by that time , the way she hurt me in the past over our breakup and divorce I may just not want anything else to do with her ...and meet someone who respects and loves me ...that my friend is what you need to do !!

Edited September 28, 2016 by Dusty72

[marky00]

Dusty I agree.

 

 

I think the OP is kind of making progress. He just doesn't know it.

 

 

I think what is tough for him is that he feels even once he has done all the leg work, he probably won't ever be 100 percent indifferent. Its that thought that eats you up sometimes.

 

 

And the reality is for many dumpees on here, they won't reach 100 percent indifference. The trick is... just not to think about it.

 

 

All relationships are different. I have been a dumper and a dumpee a few times. Honestly 2 times I was dumped and left for another guy and it didn't really bother me so much although even in those cases I never reached 100 percent indifference. But this last relationship, being dumped did bother me considerably.

 

 

The OP lived the relationship. Only he can work his way through this. Although there are similar patterns that allow us observers to give advise, we must remember that each relationship is different.

[Dusty72]

Yes Marky , I agree with all of what you say in regard to the OP.

 

I think it is soo hard to reach 100% indifference , I know for a fact that I certainly wont be even though I may be 95% healed say in 6 - 9 months time , there will always be that small percentage of your heart that never heals.

 

I have been the dumper and have been dumped in the past ....however for me this recent loss of my ex wife has really taken its toll ....just like you are experiencing and the OP is ....but like I said and reading through all the great sage advice given out on this thread ...which is to go No contact ...I feel that the OP is too scared to cut the girl adrift ....like i was!!

 

But you know what , one has to draw a line in the sand , I would rather it hurt like hell (as it is) than continue being her back up plan , playing second fiddle , having her call me whenever she wants , her having the best of both worlds aka cake eating ...ie: being her doormat !!

 

I am in effect Rejecting the Rejecter ....if she calls me and wants to reconcile fine , but I'm not answering a text , call saying "hi how are you blah blah " to me it's all or nothing now ...I suppose I'm trying to get my power back and saying to her No....not literally , but through the sound of silence ....and that is deafening !!

[Earlybird2016]

Yes Marky , I agree with all of what you say in regard to the OP.

 

I think it is soo hard to reach 100% indifference , I know for a fact that I certainly wont be even though I may be 95% healed say in 6 - 9 months time , there will always be that small percentage of your heart that never heals.

 

I have been the dumper and have been dumped in the past ....however for me this recent loss of my ex wife has really taken its toll ....just like you are experiencing and the OP is ....but like I said and reading through all the great sage advice given out on this thread ...which is to go No contact ...I feel that the OP is too scared to cut the girl adrift ....like i was!!

 

But you know what , one has to draw a line in the sand , I would rather it hurt like hell (as it is) than continue being her back up plan , playing second fiddle , having her call me whenever she wants , her having the best of both worlds aka cake eating ...ie: being her doormat !!

 

I am in effect Rejecting the Rejecter ....if she calls me and wants to reconcile fine , but I'm not answering a text , call saying "hi how are you blah blah " to me it's all or nothing now ...I suppose I'm trying to get my power back and saying to her No....not literally , but through the sound of silence ....and that is deafening !!

 

The more I think about this, the more I realise that there's no way out of this pain. No other person, no activity, no life event that will ever make me even moderately happy ever again.

 

There's just nothing now.

[Earlybird2016]

So it's ten months since she left me for someone else.

 

I've been no initiated contact for about nine months (though she's text me about once every three or four weeks for the last five or so). I've worked out, thrown myself into other things, tried to distract myself. I'm in my eighth month of therapy/meds.

 

She's still gone, and I still can't see a point to living with this pain.

 

I won't end my life, because I don't want her to blame herself, but I still wish I was dead every day.

 

I don't know what to do.

[Arieswoman]

Earlybird2016,

I'm sorry you are hurting like this.

 

There is no hard and fast rule about how quickly anyone should get over a break-up.

 

It sounds like you are severely depressed, so please talk to your doctor/physician/ counsellor/therapist about how you feel.

 

And please block her on your 'phone. Getting texts from her is allowing her to rub salt in the wound.

 

You can do this - good luck x

[Blanco]

I've been no initiated contact for about nine months (though she's text me about once every three or four weeks for the last five or so).

 

Key word here is "initiated." Not at all the same thing as true No Contact. That, my friend, is why you are still feeling as hopeless as you are. I won't say you'd feel over it or even close to it with true NC, but I promise you would be better off than you are right now.

 

You are not healing because you have not truly cut her off. You pride yourself of not initiating any contact, but the truth is, you are subconsciously waiting to hear from her every day she is gone. How can someone possibly move on when they have left a mile-wide opening for someone to re-enter their life?

 

You will not get on with your life until you are ready and willing to truly get on with your life.

[Marco Valerio]

Hi friend,

 

I can only say to you that she's not worth the value of your life and future. She had no respect for you when she dumped you, to jump straight to someone else's arms. You know there was at least an emotional affair while you two were together. Please, do not think about ending your life for someone who didn't deserve your love. Instead, wait for someone who does deserve it.

[Buddhist]

Stop distracting yourself and feel instead. I know what happens if you perpetually distract yourself from the pain. It hit me almost 5yrs after the breakup and sent me off the rails. Don't do that to yourself. Sooner or later you have to feel it, the longer you leave that part the slower it will be to heal.

 

I won't lie to you the pain is awful, its like nothing else. But you have to feel it at some point thats how it resolves. Distraction and suppression make it worse in the long run. You might think you can't handle it, that it will kill you. It won't and you will handle it.

Edited September 30, 2016 by Buddhist

[Scarlett.O'hara]

So it's ten months since she left me for someone else.

 

I've been no initiated contact for about nine months (though she's text me about once every three or four weeks for the last five or so). I've worked out, thrown myself into other things, tried to distract myself. I'm in my eighth month of therapy/meds.

 

She's still gone, and I still can't see a point to living with this pain.

 

I won't end my life, because I don't want her to blame herself, but I still wish I was dead every day.

 

I don't know what to do.

 

Yes, you do know what to do. You just don't want to do it.

 

You leave the door open for her to contact you, even though you know it does more damage than good. You have even programmed damaging thoughts into your head that no woman will ever compare to her so you have to spend the rest of your life alone, which in turn makes you feel hopeless.

 

If it makes you feel better to think that way, fine, but if it is causing you to feel depressed and suicidal then you need to face the fact that these thoughts aren't healthy. It is a vicious cycle that only you can break, but you are obviously going to need professional help to do it.

 

Whatever therapy you are in at the moment clearly isn't helping. I strongly advise you speak to your doctor and see if they can refer you to a specialist.

[BC1980]

You've never tried NC. That is your other option. It will still be painful, but you will at least have a chance of moving on.

[Earlybird2016]

Absolutely.

 

Go NC. Ignore any potential first steps at reconciliation on her part and settle for one of the 3.5 billion less attractive women on the planet.

 

Great.

[frigginlost]

Absolutely.

 

Go NC. Ignore any potential first steps at reconciliation on her part and settle for one of the 3.5 billion less attractive women on the planet.

 

Great.

 

????

 

Really?

 

Hate to drop reality at your feet, but there are 3.5 billion more attractive women on the planet than that piece of crap you once called a girlfriend.

 

WTF dude. Pull your head out, and man up.

 

We have all been there (try being married close to 20 years and having your wife walk out on you) so this is not something exclusive to you. How you handle it, is. And right now, you are sounding pathetic. Seriously, your ex has zero character, and showed you her cards. Why even waste your time...

[BC1980]

Absolutely.

 

Go NC. Ignore any potential first steps at reconciliation on her part and settle for one of the 3.5 billion less attractive women on the planet.

 

Great.

 

You block her to go NC. But you also need to change your attitude if you want to move on. If you don't think you can move on, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Blanco]

Absolutely.

 

Go NC. Ignore any potential first steps at reconciliation on her part and settle for one of the 3.5 billion less attractive women on the planet.

 

Great.

 

I think it's most women who would be the ones settling. Cripes.

 

I keep having to remind myself that you're not some youngster going through his first breakup. Breakups suck, but you sound like a kid pouting that he's not getting what he wanted for dinner.

 

Is this how you handle adversity? Just kinda giving up, woe is me mentality? She's been gone for a year, living and building a new life, and you're over here resigned to just basically never date again while quietly waiting for that moment when she maybe comes back.

[LD1990]

Absolutely.

 

Go NC. Ignore any potential first steps at reconciliation on her part and settle for one of the 3.5 billion less attractive women on the planet.

 

Great.

 

You seem pretty negative about an approach you've never tried. But hey, you'd rather stick to your method, which has proven to be completely ineffective. Because maybe those "first steps at reconciliation" are right around the corner.

 

She isn't coming back because she's not attracted to you at all anymore. She ghosted you, now she texts you whenever she wants, and you've accepted being her text buddy while she nails some other guy. You're acting like a spineless chump. No woman on Earth is attracted to that.

[Earlybird2016]

You seem pretty negative about an approach you've never tried. But hey, you'd rather stick to your method, which has proven to be completely ineffective. Because maybe those "first steps at reconciliation" are right around the corner.

 

She isn't coming back because she's not attracted to you at all anymore. She ghosted you, now she texts you whenever she wants, and you've accepted being her text buddy while she nails some other guy. You're acting like a spineless chump. No woman on Earth is attracted to that.

 

I'm not sure about how accepting the likely outcome of NC is being negative about it?

[Earlybird2016]

I think it's most women who would be the ones settling. Cripes.

 

I keep having to remind myself that you're not some youngster going through his first breakup. Breakups suck, but you sound like a kid pouting that he's not getting what he wanted for dinner.

 

Is this how you handle adversity? Just kinda giving up, woe is me mentality? She's been gone for a year, living and building a new life, and you're over here resigned to just basically never date again while quietly waiting for that moment when she maybe comes back.

 

No, it's not how I've handled adversity in the past, but anything else has been a drop in the emotional ocean compared to the loss of my ex. And maybe other women WOULD be settling. I'm sure they deserve someone who'll genuinely love them rather than date them for no other reason than they can't be with their ex. Unfortunately, using someone like that would seem to be a popular view. To me it's the same mindset my ex employed in her treatment of me (and I suppose, her treatment of her current relationship by continually cintacting me). A case of bad behaviour from the dumper being an acceptable course of action for the dumpee.

 

Messed up I may be, but I'm glad I don't see things that way.

[marky00]

60 days NC and honestly, I feel terrible. Signed up for some more counselling and can only help that improves my position somewhat.

 

 

But OP I do get where your coming from. For the really awful breakups, the NC period is vicious. Million things to say but no audience.

 

 

I've tried dating and had some really good looking girls show interest but my interest in them tends to be fleeting. And yes your right, going into a relationship where you know deep down you may end up hurting them is a very bad idea.

[BC1980]

I'm not sure about how accepting the likely outcome of NC is being negative about it?

 

I think it's just your general attitude that this will never get better. I understand feeling that way because there were certainly times that I felt I would never get better. There were many days that I felt completely hopeless and wondered if I would ever move on. Many days of anger and sadness. But I tried to stay positive and keep hopeful. I looked at other people in my life and on this board who had made it through, and it gave me hope. I used positive affirmations to make myself believe that I deserved better. And sure, in my heart, I didn't 100% feel that I deserved better at first. In my heart, I felt that I had lost the only guy I could be with, but I remained hopeful and positive.

 

You have got to change your attitude if you want to get better. There is no quick fix to any of this. Your self-esteem is obviously at rock bottom, so I would suggest seeing someone to work on that before you date again. You sense of self-worth is so tied to this woman, and that is not healthy at all. If you don't want to try to get better, there is not a lot we can do to help you. It has to come from you.

[shb]

Didn't think I'd ever post on here again (don't get me wrong, I occasionally come back to the site that got me through my own breakup and read the odd thread because I'm nosy) but you seem so down and confused about your ex that I feel I have to try to help.

 

That said, I'm not going to post again (at least not for another couple of years probably!) - I'm going to say this once and hopefully it will enable you to see that your life is worth far more than one selfish person would have you think.

 

So, long story short... (you can find my old posts on it in this guy's thread if you're so inclined http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/474315-break-my-girlfriend-not-mutual-decision-truly)

 

I was with this fantastic girl from 18-24 (she was two years younger) and, of course, it didn't last. You know how it goes: both madly in love with each other, did everything together, couldn't keep our hands off each other (yes, even right up to when it began unravelling), plans for kids, wedding, buy a house etc etc. No need for details - just take my word for it that this girl was my entire world.

 

Then we both finished university (I didn't start until I was 20) and both went into work. Problem was that I had started a career while she was doing hours work, and little by little we drifted apart as we spent less time together. To wrap up, she dropped me for some guy she met at her new job (actually, she never dropped me because I had to do it for her...explanation further down...) four months later she was pregnant, taloo, talay...

 

So, how is it that I have no idea what has happened to a girl I supposedly couldn't live without just four months on from the end of what was apparently a match made in heaven?

 

I listened. To my friends, my family, people in work and, perhaps most importantly, people on Loveshack.

 

Yes, I made a bad start. For the first few weeks I was still seeing her and thinking I could change her mind (at the time I wasn't aware there was another guy and just thought she really did "need time to think" - looooool), while the entire time she was keeping me on tenterhooks in case the new fling with loverboy didn't work out. Naturally it was mainly me initiating contact, but she did nothing to discourage that.

 

Then I found out about the new guy.

 

I was driving through town one night and saw them walking together. It didn't seem real, so I casually drove home and sat down on the couch.

 

What happened after that I can only describe as the lowest moment of my life. Utterly distraught. Find a youtube video of a mother grieving the loss of one of her children for fairly good comparison of how I broke down.

 

I really believed that she was the one and I'd let her slip away. I lost two stone over the next week by just lying in bed (when I wasn't in work obviously, although I did take a couple of days off) and not eating anything. I wanted to die, desperately wishing I had the guts to take my own life. The only thing that stopped me was knowing how upset my mum would have been. That's what got me about your recent posts - I have been there and it is the most awful feeling anyone can ever have.

 

Luckily work was really understanding and cut me some slack, while my friends and family were beyond amazing. They would listen to a point - You should have heard me: I sounded just like you. She's the most beautiful girl in the world; I'll never find another like her; maybe she'll come back because of [insert nonsensical theory]; what's the point in being alive etc etc etc...

 

But the best thing was that they (friends and family) would soon tell me to shut up, point out that, no, she was the only girl in the world, and I was being a total moron thinking she was. Every time I went off on a rant (because that is what they were - nothing more than rants) I'd eventually have to suck it up and go do something to take my mind off her. Meanwhile I was reading Loveshack threads and was surprised to find that I wasn't the only guy in the world who felt this way. Did I believe those posters who said that it would eventually get better? Pffffft, what the hell did they know? My situation was unique! No one had ever loved a girl like I'd loved her! No contact? Maybe I'd give it a go. But would it work? Like hell it would!

 

Still, I made myself follow people's advice. Naturally it didn't always work (almost never in the early stages), but the more I forced myself to go out and do stuff when all I really wanted to do was fall off a bridge (seriously), the more it began to dawn on me that, yes, this world is full of wonderful people who will go to all sorts of lengths to try and help you get through your problems. More importantly, it is just full of wonderful people.

 

This is the point.

 

But first...

 

Do anything that isn't lying around in your own filth feeling sorry for yourself. By all means feel sorry for yourself, but do it with other people or working on some project. Even if you have no interest in starting a project, JUST DO IT. The more time you invest in something, the more you become invested in it. It is unavoidable. It might seem impossible now, but you will actually start to care about something other than your ex.

 

Now for the girls front.

 

I read this entire thread and you seem like an intelligent, highly literate, thoughtful person. What kind of girl wouldn't want that? Answer: an F-in dunce.

 

Of course you can't begin to even contemplate loving another girl. You may not even feel like looking at another a girl.

 

Start by keeping your hands off yourself. I mean it.

 

Just go out, see your friends (real friends will listen to your problems while at the same time nudging you towards getting over it), and you will gradually come into more and more contact with other girls. The idea of doing anything more than chat with them may seem repulsive (though this was never the case with me, lol), but you don't even have to try flirting or anything like that. To be honest, you seem in no state of mind to be getting heavy on anyone. Just putting yourself in front of them and exhibiting the most basic conversational politeness - treat them like an aunt. At some point one will make a move. Unless you actually physically run away you will have no choice but to go along with it, and - despite what your shattered psyche is telling you - if you've been on a strict no ejaculation regime for at least a few days your body will jump at the chance. Let your primal urges take over - god forbid, you might even enjoy it!

 

This is the first step. The rest will follow as naturally as it did every time before you fell into this rut. Seriously. This will work, as sure as the sun will set. I don't care how much you're probably sitting there thinking it won't - JUST DO IT. Then you can thank me for being right.

 

For a shortened timeline of my life since losing "love of my life who I'll never ever be able to find anyone even a trillionth as good as" (bore...), I spent the next ten months or so going through girls like a lawnmower treats individual blades of grass. The reason none of them stuck was because I was subconciously waiting for one to replace the love I'd lost.

 

Then I moved city and started fresh. However, it wasn't immediately smooth sailing. While I no longer pined for my ex (aside from very rare moments, though believe me when I say that by this point they would last no more than minutes at a time and were only happening every other month at most) I was still clinging on to the idea of replicating the love I'd had with her.

 

I sank back into mild depression and wondered if - like you are - I was destined to be alone forever (though not at the expense of my career and side projects). Eventually I accepted that I had to be.

 

So I stopped caring about finding a new girlfriend (apart from a couple, none of the girls to this point had lasted more than a month) and went into full-on single mode. And I loved it. What's not to love, going out with your friends and treating each girl you meet as nothing more than a one-night stand? Yes, there are so many girls out there who are also on that path, and they will be very happy to make your acquaintance.

 

Meanwhile I focused on my career, and am now doing more and earning more than I ever dreamed I would - very attractive traits for anyone to have, girl or guy. (By the way, less emphasis on the money thing - this is just my personal situation, and you should chase your own goals).

 

So where am I now?

 

I'm crazy about the girl I'm with now. Far more than I ever was about the so-called "love of my life". She is everything I ever wanted in a girl, and more, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. If my ex came back and begged for a second chance (which she did make some half-hearted attempts at doing along the way, like yours, but that's exactly what they were - half-hearted) I wouldn't even consider it. More than that, I wouldn't even curse her out for how badly she behaved. I would politely decline and wish her the best and mean it. Because I simply don't care anymore, not even enough to be rude.

 

How did all this happen? I gave up on love and forced myself to just get on with life. Somewhere along the line I ran into a like-minded person who just happened to be hot. Now I have a great life and a great love. That's how the world works. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't. Doesn't matter. The important thing is that I - and you, and everybody else - know that there is a whole another life just around the corner. I only know that because I pushed myself to find out whether what everyone on Loveshack was saying was true. Turns out it is, and then some.

 

Think back to before you started seeing your ex as more than a friend. Were you happy then? Barring some underlying issues (if so, please get help because this is not about your ex, who will have just exacerbated what was already there), I bet you were.

 

I promise you this is not the end. You will be happy again, because the things that used to make you happy will slowly creep back into your list of priorities. I have no idea what your interests are, but I promise you they will eventually be the first thing in your life. Your ex will be nothing more than a distant memory.

 

Your ex is not wonderful. She may have been at one point, but not anymore. No fault of hers; she wanted something new. Yes, she went about it in a cowardly way (and from what you've said she still is), but that is just the way the world is. People change, just as you will. It is up to you to allow that to happen. Allow it - that is all you have to do. Time will do the rest. I promise.

 

It's an overused quote, but you either get busy living or get busy dying. If you have to choose the latter, at least act out and leave your mark along the way. If you do that then you'll soon come around to the idea of switching to the former.

 

P.S. I really hope you post again so we know you've not done anything ridiculous. I won't reply to anything - I've said all I can say. It's up to you to put it into action. It will work.

 

P.P.S You better do it - my hands are killing!

 

Best,

A former non-believer who was once just like you.

[OnlyHonesty]

Fair point. I'm kind of wondering if there's still something there, I guess. She's unavailable now, of course. I respect that, part of my reason for ending contact in February. But obviously if there's any chance she might return romantically, then of course I want to explore the possibility. I'm not looking for telepathy, but certainly I'm keen to draw on other folk's experiences. And btw, thank you for replying

 

 

You were with this woman for four years and she ghosted you like you were nothing, and you wish she would come back to you?

 

When people treat you like trash with no consequences and you continue to respond or communicate with them, what message do you think that sends?

 

I think you need to learn boundaries, self respect / self esteem and ask yourself why you would want to take someone back that ghosted you like you were a random hookup.

[Earlybird2016]

She text me again!

 

More asking what I was up to, what I was doing with the long weekend (it's a holiday here), telling me about an unwell relative of hers I was close to.

 

What is this??? Why contact every four weeks if she doesn't want to reconcile???

 

She has NO reason to contact me other than that!!!