Leigh 87 Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Don't always listen to people OP. I know my bf hasn't cheated yet of course, people on here are so quick to assume. I take my initial advice back. I have walked in on my own guy once; whacking off. Using a condom. Yet of course, people on here reckon he is cheating on me. To be honest, I always knew when a guy was unfaithful. It is just a feeling some women have. What is your instinct saying? And looking back, has your instinct failed you before? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabell31617 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Share Posted August 27, 2016 I asked the question because at the time i was split on what to think...i have anxiety and tend to overthink things. Yea your right some people on here do like to jump to conclusions. Unless he shows anymore signs of cheating theres no reason to think hes cheating. We joke around about "raping"eachother and stuff like that we joke around about stuff we shouldnt sometimes lol Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Annabell31617, Did you check the sell-by date on these condoms? If not, I would do so now. If they are "in date" then you have a big problem. His response about " you don't think I'm cheating do you? " is typical cheater-speak to deflect and make you feel bad for doubting him. Cheaters have a funny way of making you feel guilty for the things that they do. It's a pretty smart strategy in a way, until you get wise to it. It's basically a way to confuse you. Another popular tactic that they use to confuse you and guilt you is that they say things like, "I’m really hurt that you don't believe me,” or that, ”I'm hurt that you would even think such a thing about me." Instead of saying that they didn't cheat on you, they say things like, "You have to trust me. I just want you to trust me. I'm not the type of jerk that you think I am." Guilting you is a strategy that cheaters use regularly. Don't be fooled by it. I would put money on the fact he's cheating - I'm sorry - but a red flag is so big that would stampede a herd of bulls. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) I asked the question because at the time i was split on what to think...i have anxiety and tend to overthink things. Yea your right some people on here do like to jump to conclusions. Unless he shows anymore signs of cheating theres no reason to think hes cheating. We joke around about "raping"eachother and stuff like that we joke around about stuff we shouldnt sometimes lol OP, no disrespect to you, but I think you are back-pedaling because you didn't hear the answers you wanted. We agreed that something was wrong based on the information you presented. That isn't "jumping to conclusions". I don't think joking around has anything to do with this; I think you want to believe it does, though. Sorry, but I still feel you need to be careful with this guy. Something isn't right with his flimsy explanation. His cousin brought a whole bag of condoms to his house then your boyfriend's mom passed them on? Yeah, right. Edited August 27, 2016 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 If the cousin is a player, then why wouldn't your bfs mum give the cousin back his bag of condoms, surely that would have been more sensible as he obviously needs them if he is sleeping with strange women a lot. She could have posted them to him to avoid any "awkwardness" or just binned them. However if she is a person who is "awkward" around condoms, then why would she give them to her son? NEVER ask a suspected cheater if they are cheating on you, the answer will always be no, sometimes even with hard evidence to the contrary. It was very naive of you to think he would ever say, "Hands up! You got me, the condoms are for my OW." That was never going to happen here. That only happens, when they need an excuse to break up, otherwise most are happy being cake eaters, and deny, deny, deny is the first rule in the cheater's handbook. People who believe their partner would never cheat, as the partner appears to be so vehemently against cheating are often disappointed. It can be a smokescreen some people put up to deflect the attention away from themselves. If he is cheating, then telling you that cheating is abhorrent, removes him from the list of potential cheaters in your eyes, and that will be his intention. Keep your eyes and ears open here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Traceycprc Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 When your partner is cheating you just know. My last boyfriend was cheating on me and I just knew it. Even thought he said the normal I love you, I would never do anything to hurt you! If you are feeling uneasy and you just know, trust it, it is always spot on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabell31617 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Share Posted August 27, 2016 Ok so i should assume he is cheating based off of one fact? No,i am not going to do that. He still spends alot of time with me, does not hide his phone, nor has any other signs of him cheating showed up. I'm just going to follow my gut instict on this one. I will keep my eyes open about yes but am not going to jump to any conclusions. And his cousin was a player but is trying to stay loyal to his new girlfriend he just had kid with. So he dosen't want them anymore. i've heard his cousin say that and like i said i do remember being there when all this happened now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabell31617 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Share Posted August 27, 2016 And no i am not back peddling. I know how it looks from the outside and i will keep my eyes open for other signs but like is said for the most part i am going to just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 He didn't cheat on me. Who said he did? I just said that he's lying about why he ha condoms. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Who said he did? I just said that he's lying about why he ha condoms. Then why have I caught the guy jerking off with a condom? He doesnt do it often. Jerk off. Only when he is away on the road for his trucking job for weeks or a month at a time. So when he does it, he tried to prolong it. People do weird things. Doesn't mean they are cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I ask him why he had them again and that i didnt really think he was cheating on me but i needed some reassurance that he wasn't. He told me that his cousin left them at his house and his mom didn't know what to do with them so she gave them to him for us to use. His cousin is a player and so i can believe it. And how would his mom know i am on birth control lol. Lol there was simple answer and looking back, i was actually there when all that happened. I dont think he is cgeating on me and I'm just gonna let it go. Ask his mom if she gave him the "rubbers". See you gave him the time to come up with a good excuse. "Rubbers" are expensive. So why would the cousin not go back and get them. Also I would never leave, no make that never bring them to my aunt's house. They are too expensive to use to for self manipulation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Ok so i should assume he is cheating based off of one fact? No,i am not going to do that. He still spends alot of time with me, does not hide his phone, nor has any other signs of him cheating showed up. I'm just going to follow my gut instict on this one. I will keep my eyes open about yes but am not going to jump to any conclusions. And his cousin was a player but is trying to stay loyal to his new girlfriend he just had kid with. So he dosen't want them anymore. i've heard his cousin say that and like i said i do remember being there when all this happened now. LOL. You're trying your level best to talk yourself into 'remembering' it. Whose MOTHER picks up a bag of rubbers from her 'player' nephew who just had a kid and needs birth control MORE THAN EVER, and carries said bag of rubbers over to her own son's house when she has NO CLUE what kind of birth control he and his girlfriend are even using? Your mistake OP, was not counting how many were originally IN the bag when his mother supposedly brought them to his house. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 LOL. You're trying your level best to talk yourself into 'remembering' it. Whose MOTHER picks up a bag of rubbers from her 'player' nephew who just had a kid and needs birth control MORE THAN EVER, and carries said bag of rubbers over to her own son's house when she has NO CLUE what kind of birth control he and his girlfriend are even using? Your mistake OP, was not counting how many were originally IN the bag when his mother supposedly brought them to his house. This. I've done it too, OP. When faced with pretty solid evidence that my ex was up to no good, I tried very hard to rationalize and dismiss what I knew in my gut. My ex too was the type of man nobody would have ever suspected. But when you find something suspicious - and a bag of condoms when you don't use them is very suspicious - sometimes it's hard to ignore that sinking feeling anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kkristine Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound good. He made a joke about it because he was nervous. Guilty? Link to post Share on other sites
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