How much damage does the divorce process itself do to the chance of reconciliation?

[LancasterAmos1966]

Thanks. Kind of my thought too.

 

I have plenty of internal conflict. Part of me wants to reunite with him, because I have realized the source of our problems and I believe we can solve our problems if he is willing to. I also want children to enjoy a family dynamic with everyone under the same roof. Part of me wants to set him free, because I don't know if he can forgive me and be happy with me again. I really hope he finds joy and happiness in life.

 

This grief really grinds my spirit. Lots of times, I feel stuck. Letting go is so hard. I don't really see the end of the grieving stage for me.

 

 

No need to rush the process of letting go!! Work at your own pace.

 

Just know that being stuck in a grief stage prevents you from finding fulfillment in life --- And if we are looking to a partner to make us complete, then that can really effect our emotions when they leave or pass away.

 

Of course, there's nothing wrong with attaching to our spouse, family, friends. That is normal.

 

But if a spouse/relative passes away, we must grieve and move forward in life. That's the same when someone rejects us, leaves us, or we lose a job, etc. Grieve the loss, but move forward.

 

I bought many books, but one titled Uncoupling Turning Points In Intimate Relationships was the turning point that led me straight into Acceptance. That simple, circa 1990 book helped me say Wow, my wife really, really, really wants to be set free.

 

You wish him joy and happiness --- that is a great attitude --- now you need to look in a mirror and wish it for yourself.

 

Maybe you could find a DivorceCare Group to attend. I went a few times, and just meeting up with others facing separation/divorce was another helpful tool in moving ahead in the recovery journey.