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Wtf am I doing to myself.


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I think your wife needs to get a real job. Pretending she's a school teacher doesn't seem like it's cutting it.

 

 

I mean, you found out three years ago you couldn't trust her. Why does that warrant you footing the bill for whatever she wants?

 

 

You have let your insecurity cut your own legs out from under you. You don't see that while you've been distracted with whether she's cheating or not she's set herself up for the perfect position to get alimony/spousal support?

 

The OP cannot trust his wife when she is at home with his two kids 24/7, so how is he going to feel when she is out in the wide world of work with coworkers, clients and random people, some of which could be male...?

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The OP cannot trust his wife when she is at home with his two kids 24/7, so how is he going to feel when she is out in the wide world of work with coworkers, clients and random people, some of which could be male...?

 

I don't think it's about his trusting or not trusting her anymore..... I think it's about him getting ready for her to divorce him. And if she loses any ounce of control I'm going to bed that's what she threatens...

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I don't think it's about his trusting or not trusting her anymore..... I think it's about him getting ready for her to divorce him. And if she loses any ounce of control I'm going to bed that's what she threatens...

 

Where do you get the idea that she is about to divorce him?

 

She "caught" him jerking off the other day and now to it appears she is trying to reconnect with him sexually, but instead of focusing on his marriage, he is stuck in some "she must be cheating" rut.

If he continues on this path there is no other option but divorce and she WILL be the one that instigates it.

Women need emotional connection; paranoia, distrust and distance ruin connection.

If he wants good sex with her he needs to ramp up the connection, but he cannot do that, if his mind is always imagining her having hot monkey sex with other men.

He will come across as hostile and she will then go on the defensive and she will lose any connection she has with him, she withdraws, sex is a chore for her, he is unhappy, his paranoia kicks in, he is hostile, she is defensive... a vicious circle.

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OK let me clear a few things up.

 

My entire life does not revolve around me thinking she is cheating. Last week was just a bad week triggered by i don't know what. 90% of the time I have no feelings she is doing anything wrong. I just have my off days.

 

She leaves and does things on her own after I get home from work and it doesn't bother me. We communicate a lot more than most other couples I know. She makes the choice to call me when I am at lunch just to talk about how the day is going. It's not like this is some awful relationship.

 

Sure she doesn't like some of the trust issues but she knows why we have them. We address the issues together when they come up. We have a very strong family now days and neither I nor her want to put that at risk again.

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