Feeling like I'm missing out

[Buddhist]

I have literal burning in my head & face that seems to be affecting my nervous system/nerves in some way. It's possible it was caused by stress maybe, but not stressing out doesn't seem to fix it. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get rid of my symptoms. I might have to just start forcing myself to do things since it doesn't seem this will ever go away. I just really dislike the fact that I'll maybe never be 100% normal/healthy again most likely. It makes me feel bitter & angry that others get to be healthy while I have to struggle everyday. Not that I have any ill will towards anyone, but I just want something that I'm supposed to have which is being healthy yet I can't even have that in this life.

 

That's the nature of psychosomatic illness. I never once experienced my symptoms during times of stress ( my brain was preoccupied), only during times of relaxation. The fact that getting less stress didn't make a difference is NOT conclusive evidence is not psychosomatic. In fact it's an indicator it may be psychosomatic. If nothing you physically do helps or makes it worse, then it's likely a psychological condition.

 

It's clear you have very little understanding of this subject, your rationale indicates that. It's also clear you have very little interest in learning either. You just want to continue your mantra that life isn't fair. You're welcome to do that, just don't expect anything to change.

[NJ123]

That's the nature of psychosomatic illness. I never once experienced my symptoms during times of stress ( my brain was preoccupied), only during times of relaxation. The fact that getting less stress didn't make a difference is NOT conclusive evidence is not psychosomatic. In fact it's an indicator it may be psychosomatic. If nothing you physically do helps or makes it worse, then it's likely a psychological condition.

 

It's clear you have very little understanding of this subject, your rationale indicates that. It's also clear you have very little interest in learning either. You just want to continue your mantra that life isn't fair. You're welcome to do that, just don't expect anything to change.

 

You just love to instigate arguments it seems like with throwing attacks at me. It's seriously starting to annoy me to be honest because everything I state on here is always thrown back at me with very attacking posts.

 

Anyways, I've stated it's possible that the symptoms were caused by stress but anything I do doesn't make it go away in general like there's some sort of damage done. Why do the crackling/popping sounds near my ear keep coming back for. It feels like the right side of my face the muscles go back into place a bit in a weak way at times but than it pops out of place than the sounds start all over again. I'm almost sure of it that it's some sort of physical issue. I've been told by someone else that it's possible nerve inflammation in my face muscles due to previous high stress which is causing the burning & the foggy feeling in my head at times among my other symptoms.

Edited November 11, 2016 by NJ123

[Buddhist]

You just love to instigate arguments it seems like with throwing attacks at me. It's seriously starting to annoy me to be honest because everything I state on here is always thrown back at me with very attacking posts.

 

If not agreeing with you is instigating arguments then....I suppose so. I'm sure if I was attacking you the mods would be right on it. I've been heavily moderated in other threads where I've crossed that line. Can't see why they would make an exception on this one.

 

Rather ironic that you state I throw everything back in your face. It's exactly the same thing you've done to me and everyone else in this very thread. If you care to go back and revise. Perhaps the others are also starting to get annoyed?

[Satu]

I have literal burning in my head & face that seems to be affecting my nervous system/nerves in some way. It's possible it was caused by stress maybe, but not stressing out doesn't seem to fix it. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get rid of my symptoms. *I might have to just start forcing myself to do things since it doesn't seem this will ever go away. I just really dislike the fact that I'll maybe never be 100% normal/healthy again most likely. It makes me feel bitter & angry that others get to be healthy while I have to struggle everyday. Not that I have any ill will towards anyone, but I just want something that I'm supposed to have which is being healthy yet I can't even have that in this life.

 

*Thats right; you should force yourself, or you'll never get anything out of life.

 

Everybody forces themselves at times.

 

A persons will has to be stronger than their anxiety, or they'd end up with a life made up of "I wish."

 

I've mentioned a disabled pilot friend of mine before:

 

He damaged his spine in a motorbike accident, and is paralysed from the nipples down. He has no sensation whatsoever, from that point down.

 

But he has a modified plane, which allows him to do both stick and rudder with his hands. He's a great pilot, one of the best I know. Better than me.

 

He's just taken delivery of a new motorbike, with modified controls, and a sidecar.

 

He could have very easily given up, and spent the rest of his life thinking of "What he can't do because he's disabled," but he thought, "F*** that," and went out and did them.

 

Don't waste your life; you won't be here forever.

[Satu]

snip

You just love to instigate arguments it seems like with throwing attacks at me. It's seriously starting to annoy me to be honest because everything I state on here is always thrown back at me with very attacking posts.

 

Buddhist is actually being very compassionate and trying to help you.

 

Can you really not see that?

Edited November 12, 2016 by Satu

[Blanco]

I'm a stubborn person, so I recognize the thought patterns OP is following. When you're stubborn and are convinced something is a certain way, you will fight tooth and nail not to be budged over to another way of thinking. That, combined with a victim mentality, is what ignites this persecution complex OP seems to have as it relates to the handful of people who have stuck this out and earnestly tried to assist him.

 

OP, I don't know what your home life has been like nor do I know sort of relationship you have with your parents. I suspect it is, at the very least, decent. They have permitted you to live rent-free in their home through your twenties and now into your thirties. Trust me, this is a huge sacrifice for even the most caring parent.

 

At the same time, I can't help but think they have treated you with kids gloves. I mean no malice with this. I'm sure they have done so from a good place in their hearts. Yet at the same time, they have done you something of a disservice. They've aided you in remaining in your state of arrested development.

 

They have not prepared you for the world as it actually is for functioning adults. In giving you a safe haven, they have obstructed your ability to be faced with constructive criticism and not fall to pieces.. Several of the ladies in this thread have been overly helpful with their suggestions and experiences as it relates to your issues. Instead of seeing the forest for the trees, you have instead latched on to their occasional (but justified) frustrations over your tendency to hem and haw over virtually everything rather than take action.

 

These people are not the problem. You may not like what they have to say, but they are not saying anything inappropriate or cruel. Them calling a spade a spade rather than coddling you through weeks and months of circular, self-pitying rhetoric does not make them the enemy.

[GemmaUK]

Than how come antibiotics never worked if I have a real infection? I've literally been on antibiotics like 5 times over the past few years to try to fix this yet they never fix the issue. I mean why do doctors keep prescribing me antibiotics if they never do anything for me?

 

Let's break this down a bit...

So the first time you took a course (a course of anti-biotics is defined as anywhere between a 3-7 day's worth of that particular medication)of anti-biotics for this it solved it yes?

 

Is that correct?

[sooshi]

NJ,

 

It has already been stated that antibiotics destroy the gut. It's worse in your case, because you've taken several rounds of them.

 

A damaged gut makes it easy to contract infections, illness, food allergies, etc. Once again, it is essential that you start taking probiotics to help replenish the gut flora, because you probably have (almost) none left. An unhealthy gut likely leads to an unhealthy brain, and in fact, your anxiety/depression could very well be due to your current gut situation. The gut is considered a second brain ("gut brain"), and is connected to your head brain. Some people get fecal matter transplants (ie., healthy bacteria) to treat depression and anxiety

 

You've also mentioned that you eat a lot of sugar foods. Again, excess sugar leads to inflammation. This is why most people with diabetes (uncontrolled blood sugar levels) will experience some for of neuropathy (nerve pain).

 

I have nerve pain. I believe it comes from years of overuse, and that happened because of neglect (not being aware of the consequences of overuse, and simply not loving myself enough to recognize what my body was experiencing). The pain has been the catalyst for me to start working on loving myself.

 

I fully believe that my pain can be healed completely. I do not expect it to happen within days, weeks, or even months. I am willing to spend years on healing myself, if that's what it takes. I've been an active participant in percipitating the pain, and I take full responsibility for that.

 

Here's what I do to heal myself, most of which I do daily.

Take an active b-complex.

Take B6, 100-200mg/day (a few times a week).

Take B12, sublingual form.

Take magnesium.

Gentle exercises/stretches for that area.

Rest that area and utilize the other side of my body.

Limit sugar intake, including fruit.

Affirmations. I use a mala bead necklace, which has 108 beads. I say one positive affirmation for each bead, and I go through several cycles of the beads. This means I end up with hundreds of affirmations. One affirmation I might say is "My nerves are healthy and strong."

I talk to my body lovingly every day, while using the mala beads and while away from them.

I practice yoga and t'ai chi.

I engage in journalling, and focus on gratitude, reflect on some of the good stuff in the day, and on healing painful any thoughts.

I take some deep breaths.

I draw/scribble, as a form of art therapy.

I meditate.

I chant.

I eat mostly whole foods.

I practice ho'oponopono, a Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation.

I've taken hypericum perforatum, but don't have any left right now.

I ask the universe for healing and to help me to know how to heal myself, and I take what I've learned to assist others in healing themselves.

 

While I take supplements, I believe that most of the healing actually comes from the loving energy of my thoughts, words, and actions towards my body and others (I do my best).

 

And yes, sinus infections can last years. Just as candida or parasites can hang around for years. In fact, perhaps just about any chronic illness is one that develops over a number of years, but only truly overtly manifests when the body can no longer handle the overload of inflammation.

 

If you don't believe that doctors can help you, and if you don't believe we can help you, then yes, it's time to figure it out for yourself. If you have truly seen "dozens and dozens" of doctors, then you have spent a whole lot of time sitting around and waiting for other people to fix you while not taking much action on your part. Maybe what your body wants is for you to finally start paying it some loving attention and to treat it well. You have been given many suggestion from many people (complete strangers, by the way), many of which you have dismissed, ignored, and even put down. Not many people are going to want to support someone who treats them that way, NJ.

 

By the way, great job with taking the magnesium and B-complex. They might not eradicate your symptoms, but they're doing something at the cellular level. Can you not acknowledge that they are doing something good for you, even if you can't physically feel it? If I were your body, I'd be some grateful that you are at least doing something good for yourself... but I'd also be really upset too that you're doing it without loving intention.

 

The others are right. The actions you need to take are long-term ones. If you only want to treat symptoms, and my experience is that it is what most people want, then you can go ahead and try to find that magic pill. But it doesn't exist. If you want to truly heal, then yes, it will take a good amount of time. Your situation has been a culmination of a few years, and it's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect to amend it by doing little, or even by doing a lot but in a short time.

 

Do you want the symptoms to go away or do you want to truly heal?

 

It sounds like you just want the symptoms to go away, but I hope that someday soon, you will want to truly heal and that you'll want to take the time and energy to do so.

 

Take care.

[Satu]

^ One of the best posts ever ^

[NJ123]

Let's break this down a bit...

So the first time you took a course (a course of anti-biotics is defined as anywhere between a 3-7 day's worth of that particular medication)of anti-biotics for this it solved it yes?

 

Is that correct?

 

Nope, it didn't correct anything. The doctors just assume it's going to help me & it never does. Yet they still kept giving me antibiotics anyway.

[NJ123]

NJ,

 

It has already been stated that antibiotics destroy the gut. It's worse in your case, because you've taken several rounds of them.

 

A damaged gut makes it easy to contract infections, illness, food allergies, etc. Once again, it is essential that you start taking probiotics to help replenish the gut flora, because you probably have (almost) none left. An unhealthy gut likely leads to an unhealthy brain, and in fact, your anxiety/depression could very well be due to your current gut situation. The gut is considered a second brain ("gut brain"), and is connected to your head brain. Some people get fecal matter transplants (ie., healthy bacteria) to treat depression and anxiety

 

You've also mentioned that you eat a lot of sugar foods. Again, excess sugar leads to inflammation. This is why most people with diabetes (uncontrolled blood sugar levels) will experience some for of neuropathy (nerve pain).

 

I have nerve pain. I believe it comes from years of overuse, and that happened because of neglect (not being aware of the consequences of overuse, and simply not loving myself enough to recognize what my body was experiencing). The pain has been the catalyst for me to start working on loving myself.

 

I fully believe that my pain can be healed completely. I do not expect it to happen within days, weeks, or even months. I am willing to spend years on healing myself, if that's what it takes. I've been an active participant in percipitating the pain, and I take full responsibility for that.

 

Here's what I do to heal myself, most of which I do daily.

Take an active b-complex.

Take B6, 100-200mg/day (a few times a week).

Take B12, sublingual form.

Take magnesium.

Gentle exercises/stretches for that area.

Rest that area and utilize the other side of my body.

Limit sugar intake, including fruit.

Affirmations. I use a mala bead necklace, which has 108 beads. I say one positive affirmation for each bead, and I go through several cycles of the beads. This means I end up with hundreds of affirmations. One affirmation I might say is "My nerves are healthy and strong."

I talk to my body lovingly every day, while using the mala beads and while away from them.

I practice yoga and t'ai chi.

I engage in journalling, and focus on gratitude, reflect on some of the good stuff in the day, and on healing painful any thoughts.

I take some deep breaths.

I draw/scribble, as a form of art therapy.

I meditate.

I chant.

I eat mostly whole foods.

I practice ho'oponopono, a Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation.

I've taken hypericum perforatum, but don't have any left right now.

I ask the universe for healing and to help me to know how to heal myself, and I take what I've learned to assist others in healing themselves.

 

While I take supplements, I believe that most of the healing actually comes from the loving energy of my thoughts, words, and actions towards my body and others (I do my best).

 

And yes, sinus infections can last years. Just as candida or parasites can hang around for years. In fact, perhaps just about any chronic illness is one that develops over a number of years, but only truly overtly manifests when the body can no longer handle the overload of inflammation.

 

If you don't believe that doctors can help you, and if you don't believe we can help you, then yes, it's time to figure it out for yourself. If you have truly seen "dozens and dozens" of doctors, then you have spent a whole lot of time sitting around and waiting for other people to fix you while not taking much action on your part. Maybe what your body wants is for you to finally start paying it some loving attention and to treat it well. You have been given many suggestion from many people (complete strangers, by the way), many of which you have dismissed, ignored, and even put down. Not many people are going to want to support someone who treats them that way, NJ.

 

By the way, great job with taking the magnesium and B-complex. They might not eradicate your symptoms, but they're doing something at the cellular level. Can you not acknowledge that they are doing something good for you, even if you can't physically feel it? If I were your body, I'd be some grateful that you are at least doing something good for yourself... but I'd also be really upset too that you're doing it without loving intention.

 

The others are right. The actions you need to take are long-term ones. If you only want to treat symptoms, and my experience is that it is what most people want, then you can go ahead and try to find that magic pill. But it doesn't exist. If you want to truly heal, then yes, it will take a good amount of time. Your situation has been a culmination of a few years, and it's unreasonable and unrealistic to expect to amend it by doing little, or even by doing a lot but in a short time.

 

Do you want the symptoms to go away or do you want to truly heal?

 

It sounds like you just want the symptoms to go away, but I hope that someday soon, you will want to truly heal and that you'll want to take the time and energy to do so.

 

Take care.

 

I also think there's a bit of a misunderstanding here in terms of stating the phrase "nerve pain". I really don't get pain but instead I get burning symptoms for whatever reason. It's only when I move my right jaw is when I feel any sort of pain alongside my right ear. Also, when I sometimes chew food the muscles in my face feel stiff & can hurt a bit. The burning symptoms could just come on randomly as well out of nowhere it feels like at times.

 

Also, how am I supposed to get better if the depression just comes on randomly for me? I could literally just be watching TV for instance than out of nowhere I just start to feel a rush full of depression consume my head out of nowhere. I could also literally feel a pressure type of feeling at times in the frontal lobe area of my head when my brain doesn't seem to be functioning correctly. I definitely have Pure O OCD as well, which is possible where the imbalance is coming from. And as I've stated the issue is my body isn't tolerant towards medication due to this burning/nerve issue.

[MidwestUSA]

There's not a misunderstanding. Nerve irritation can result in 'pain' or burning.

 

Can you stop picking apart the minutiae of the terminology for a minute and try to absorb anything anyone is telling you? You've had a lot of practical advice, as well as a lot of heartfelt compassion, but you just blow on past and repeat your mantra.

 

Sounds like you need to eat nothing but yogurt for two weeks, and max out on ibuprofen.

 

As for your body not tolerating meds, can you list what you've tried, and how long you stuck it out before deciding it wasn't helping?

 

And, you need serious help for that pure O.

[NJ123]

There's not a misunderstanding. Nerve irritation can result in 'pain' or burning.

 

Can you stop picking apart the minutiae of the terminology for a minute and try to absorb anything anyone is telling you? You've had a lot of practical advice, as well as a lot of heartfelt compassion, but you just blow on past and repeat your mantra.

 

Sounds like you need to eat nothing but yogurt for two weeks, and max out on ibuprofen.

 

As for your body not tolerating meds, can you list what you've tried, and how long you stuck it out before deciding it wasn't helping?

 

And, you need serious help for that pure O.

 

I'm just tired to be honest. I feel I dragged myself into a hole that I can't escape from now almost like I'm too far gone. And believe me, I've tried ibuprofen for like a month or two straight at one time everyday & of course that didn't help either. The oral surgeon I went to put me on muscle relaxers for like a month too thinking that would help but of course it didn't. Than he didn't want to say it but I think he thought I was crazy after that & after he saw my TMJ MRI was normal he just sent me on my way saying to see how I do on my own. I just don't understand why my life turned out this way. I could only imagine where my life would be right now if I never had any of these physical/mental issues. Now I feel it's too late to ever get to have a normal life now. I have the life experience of a damn 19 year old at this point. Not a good feeling at all. I can't imagine making it to 40 at this point if my life hasn't improved.

 

I've tried a few different ones. And my body reacted very strangely where it felt like I was dying or something. It's like the burning I get interacts badly with the meds where my body just feels even more weird while taking something that messes with brain chemicals. I just don't know at this point, but trying to only eat soft food for awhile exclusively is something I could try since what do I have to lose at this point.

Edited November 12, 2016 by NJ123

[Blanco]

I just don't understand why my life turned out this way. I could only imagine where my life would be right now if I never had any of these physical/mental issues. Now I feel it's too late to ever get to have a normal life now. I have the life experience of a damn 19 year old at this point. Not a good feeling at all. I can't imagine making it to 40 at this point if my life hasn't improved.

 

So where's self-pity gotten you? Your life isn't going to change overnight, but I think what many are telling you here is that taking smell steps to get out of this hole is a better plan of attack than continuing to sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I'm sorry your life has seen some obstacles, but you are not a helpless victim. I really don't think you understand that.

[Buddhist]

I feel I dragged myself into a hole that I can't escape from now almost like I'm too far gone.

 

Yep. So what are you going to do about that?

 

Than he didn't want to say it but I think he thought I was crazy after that & after he saw my TMJ MRI was normal he just sent me on my way saying to see how I do on my own.

 

I don't blame him. What else do you expect him to do? He can't diagnose or treat a problem that isn't there or isn't within his field of expertise to treat.

 

I just don't understand why my life turned out this way. I could only imagine where my life would be right now if I never had any of these physical/mental issues.

 

And I'm sure that people born with genetic disorders, congenital diseases or suffer horrific accidents that leave them permanently damaged also think the same thing. But at some point they stop thinking it and get on with life. Because they realise how futile this line of thinking is.

 

I have the life experience of a damn 19 year old at this point. Not a good feeling at all. I can't imagine making it to 40 at this point if my life hasn't improved.

 

All of that is on you.

[sooshi]

Also, how am I supposed to get better if the depression just comes on randomly for me? I could literally just be watching TV for instance than out of nowhere I just start to feel a rush full of depression consume my head out of nowhere. I could also literally feel a pressure type of feeling at times in the frontal lobe area of my head when my brain doesn't seem to be functioning correctly. I definitely have Pure O OCD as well, which is possible where the imbalance is coming from. And as I've stated the issue is my body isn't tolerant towards medication due to this burning/nerve issue.

 

You've been given plenty of of suggestions on dealing with depression... which, once again... many you choose to discard, not acknowledge, ignore, or say it likely won't work for you--all of which means you won't even attempt them, at least not long enough to make a difference in your life.

 

Buddhist and AMJ are a couple of people who have poured out their hearts to you about how they've dealt with having anxiety and depression. Neither of them proclaimed that they journal has taken little effort; in fact, it has taken a lot of it.

 

I know it's hard to do much when you're really, really down. You're out of energy and you don't feel motivated. But if you want to get better, then you (general you) must do something to move forward. Choose one thing, like listening to calming music. And do it often. It will get easier. And then you can choose something else to do, while also listening to calming music. It doesn't take a lot of effort to turn on some lovely music, lay down, close your eyes, and breathe while listening to the music.

 

I'm not sure why you brought up the medication issue again in response to my post, because I never mentioned taking medications. I mentioned what antibiotics do to your system and how that can adversely affect your brain health. Whether or not you decide to start taking probiotics to nourish yourself... well, that's up to you.

 

You've mentioned about going to the gym several times a week consistently for about six months and how it didn't help you. Did you try changing up the exercise? Did you consider that maybe you aren't a "gym person" and that maybe what your body prefers is outdoor activity? You have to learn to be able to discern when something isn't right for you.

 

You've also mentioned being on a "decent" diet for a while, and how that didn't help. You didn't mention what exactly your meals looked like, or how long you stuck with it. Just because having a decent diet didn't make your symptoms go away, is not a reason to eat to go back to eating garbage food (sorry, but a lot of "food" out there isn't actually and IS garbage for us).

 

Midwest is right. Nerve irritation can result in pain and burning. And yes, in my case, it can feel like heat/burning.

 

NJ, I understand that you're really tired and frustrated with your situation, and that it shows through your choice of words, and that you might not realize that sometimes you come across as confrontational, accusatory, and blaming. I say this not as an attack, but as a gentle nudge to bring this to your awareness. When you say things like "I already said I..." or "Didn't you read it when I said..." it is hurtful. I have felt hurt when you said those types of things to some of the other posters. The few of us who have stuck around are people who you have told to either leave their thread at some point because you didn't like what we were saying, and/or who have said they would no longer comment--and yet, we stick around because through our own health struggles, through our own life journey, we have learned--and are continuing to learn--how to be compassionate towards self and others.

 

I started practicing yoga recently after I read some accounts of Buddhist's positive experiences. Like Blanco has said, Buddhist is very insightful and has a lot of life experiences, some of which she has shared with you. She is wise, and it would be wise to pay attention to what she tells you.

 

Recently, Satu suggested journaling for you. She had written about what she was grateful for/admired in her day. You did not acknowledge her advice. I took it. I got out my journal and wrote in it. It made me smile. I felt better. Satu is someone I respect and look up to, and her "voice" is something I keep in my back pocket.

 

AMJ recently mentioned to you to take ten deep breaths, as it is something that helped her. That night, I was meditating. I was feeling anxious. I remembered her suggestion, and so I tried it. I took ten deep breaths. That is what calmed me down. AMJ is awesome.

 

Midwest is so funny, loogies and all. She makes me laugh. She's also a health professional and has provided you with excellent advice, which you sadly only shoot down.

 

Blanco is someone you could learn a lot from. Like Buddhist, he is logical and insightful. He has said he shares more in common with you than you think. And perhaps that is a common parallel among everyone who's still here with you.

 

Gemma has also provided you with straightforward, excellent advice.

 

I've never met any of them in person, but I know they're all wonderful people.

 

It's too bad that you haven't taken suggestions from others. They could have helped you, too.

 

To Midwest, Blanco, Buddhist, AMJ, Satu, Gemma, and to anyone else who has offered advice and is still reading: I am sorry your words, energy, and effort have not been fully heard, acknowledged, or absorbed by the OP, and I thank you for being here, for your compassion, for your patience, and for being you. Thank you for helping out a complete stranger, and in doing so, helping out other complete strangers (at very least me). You are all wonderful, and your words and actions are not in vain.

 

Hugs and loogies.

[NJ123]

So where's self-pity gotten you? Your life isn't going to change overnight, but I think what many are telling you here is that taking smell steps to get out of this hole is a better plan of attack than continuing to sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

 

I'm sorry your life has seen some obstacles, but you are not a helpless victim. I really don't think you understand that.

 

SOME obstacles? More like a whole lot of them. And maybe I'm not, but it's extremely hard to not want to just give up after not feeling well for so long even after I've tried so many things to get better. I can't believe I've been criticized for going to so many doctors over the past few years to try to get better. Isn't it a doctor's job to figure out what's wrong? If they can't even help me how am I supposed to figure out what's wrong on my own?

[GemmaUK]

Nope, it didn't correct anything. The doctors just assume it's going to help me & it never does. Yet they still kept giving me antibiotics anyway.

 

Next question then, when you were taking that first course and realised it wasn't working how many other courses did you have running consistently?

 

When an anti-biotic hasn't kicked it you go back to get a repeat if that first course hasn't worked - you did that the first time around yes?

 

How many courses did it take that first time to solve it?

How many week were you on anti-biotics that first time around?

[MidwestUSA]

Sooshi, you've outdone yourself. Just when I thought thought you've said it all.

 

Thanks for the support, and loogies to you too!

[sooshi]

I've tried so many things to get better. I can't believe I've been criticized for going to so many doctors over the past few years to try to get better. Isn't it a doctor's job to figure out what's wrong? If they can't even help me how am I supposed to figure out what's wrong on my own?

 

What exactly have you tried, apart from seeing doctor after doctor?

 

You went to the gym consistently for six months, and you say it did nothing for you. You had what you feel was a decent diet for a while, and that it did nothing for you.

 

Eating well and get a good amount of exercise is healthy for you. Just because they didn't make your symptoms go away, it's not a reason to say going to the gym or eating decent food did nothing for you. You had expectations. They didn't get fulfilled. But going to the gym and eating well did other good stuff for you.

 

You can't depend on a doctor to solve your problems. Like Buddhist said, doctors can only work with something that's in their expertise. You can go to a doctor and say that you feel really tired all the time, and they might do some lab work, and then give you a pill for it. It doesn't mean that their tests are all-encompassing and will get to the root of your problem. Tests aren't everything. Doctors don't know everything. In the end, you are responsible for your health. My guess is that none of your doctors have spent much time with you. They don't get to know you. They're here to treat symptoms, not get to the root of the problem. That's a real problem.

 

Many people go to their doctor and do whatever their doctor says, without asking questions or without questioning doctor's orders. Something like 128,000 deaths occur each year in the US from taking prescription drugs at the dosage and frequency as ordered by their doctor.

 

Take Satu's advice and see a nutritionist. They will actually spend time and get to know you, not just see someone with some symptoms that could stem from an X number of causes. A nutritionist with the best of intentions will seek to help you heal, not just treat the symptoms.

 

No matter what course of action you decide on, it is you who is responsible for your health in the end. It is you who is responsible for taking action to make good choices for yourself.

[sooshi]

SOME obstacles? More like a whole lot of them. And maybe I'm not, but it's extremely hard to not want to just give up after not feeling well for so long even after I've tried so many things to get better

 

Are you aware that you're making things all about you, and only you, all the time?

 

We ALL endure a whole lot of obstacles in life.

 

If you'd have read AMJ's and Buddhist's posts where they shared a tiny glimpse of their struggles with you, you would realize that you're not alone.

 

I once knew an elderly lady who got into a motorcycle accident. She suffered 16 fractures. She ended up in a wheelchair. She was determined to get better. She told me that one day, she will walk again. I don't know if she is up and walking now, but I do know that her attitude was admirable.

 

Satu--oh, the lovely woman--endured a second round of TB earlier this year. She almost died. She survived (thankfully!!!), and she is among the most positive people I've ever known. Also, remember her pilot friend who is paralyzed and flies a modified plane--and is great at it.

 

If you think you're the only one out there who experiences a whole lot of obstacles, spend some time in a nursing home, in a hospice, or with children with physical disabilities. Talk with single parents who have young children. Spend time with new immigrants who have to start their lives all over again in a new country, and who must work long hours at a low=paying job to feed their families, when back home, they were doctors. Attend a support group for people who are struggling with addiction.

 

You have a wonderful group of people here supporting you, and instead of taking their support into your hands, you focus on what's wrong (with you, or with what they're saying). Start focusing on what's right. Start focusing on what you do have. Are you not grateful for having being able to think, speak, see, and hear? Many cannot. Are you not grateful for being able to move your limbs? Many cannot. Are you not grateful for having learned to speak and write? Many cannot. Are you not grateful to have an income, even if it's not your ideal job or wage? Many do not have an income. Are you not grateful to have access to clean drinking water? Many do not.

 

As you can see, many people endure a whole lot of obstacles. Just because you might not hear about or see them, it's there. As Blanco said, EVERYONE is going through something.

 

Yep.

 

Take care.

[NJ123]

You've been given plenty of of suggestions on dealing with depression... which, once again... many you choose to discard, not acknowledge, ignore, or say it likely won't work for you--all of which means you won't even attempt them, at least not long enough to make a difference in your life.

 

Buddhist and AMJ are a couple of people who have poured out their hearts to you about how they've dealt with having anxiety and depression. Neither of them proclaimed that they journal has taken little effort; in fact, it has taken a lot of it.

 

I know it's hard to do much when you're really, really down. You're out of energy and you don't feel motivated. But if you want to get better, then you (general you) must do something to move forward. Choose one thing, like listening to calming music. And do it often. It will get easier. And then you can choose something else to do, while also listening to calming music. It doesn't take a lot of effort to turn on some lovely music, lay down, close your eyes, and breathe while listening to the music.

 

I'm not sure why you brought up the medication issue again in response to my post, because I never mentioned taking medications. I mentioned what antibiotics do to your system and how that can adversely affect your brain health. Whether or not you decide to start taking probiotics to nourish yourself... well, that's up to you.

 

You've mentioned about going to the gym several times a week consistently for about six months and how it didn't help you. Did you try changing up the exercise? Did you consider that maybe you aren't a "gym person" and that maybe what your body prefers is outdoor activity? You have to learn to be able to discern when something isn't right for you.

 

You've also mentioned being on a "decent" diet for a while, and how that didn't help. You didn't mention what exactly your meals looked like, or how long you stuck with it. Just because having a decent diet didn't make your symptoms go away, is not a reason to eat to go back to eating garbage food (sorry, but a lot of "food" out there isn't actually and IS garbage for us).

 

Midwest is right. Nerve irritation can result in pain and burning. And yes, in my case, it can feel like heat/burning.

 

NJ, I understand that you're really tired and frustrated with your situation, and that it shows through your choice of words, and that you might not realize that sometimes you come across as confrontational, accusatory, and blaming. I say this not as an attack, but as a gentle nudge to bring this to your awareness. When you say things like "I already said I..." or "Didn't you read it when I said..." it is hurtful. I have felt hurt when you said those types of things to some of the other posters. The few of us who have stuck around are people who you have told to either leave their thread at some point because you didn't like what we were saying, and/or who have said they would no longer comment--and yet, we stick around because through our own health struggles, through our own life journey, we have learned--and are continuing to learn--how to be compassionate towards self and others.

 

I started practicing yoga recently after I read some accounts of Buddhist's positive experiences. Like Blanco has said, Buddhist is very insightful and has a lot of life experiences, some of which she has shared with you. She is wise, and it would be wise to pay attention to what she tells you.

 

Recently, Satu suggested journaling for you. She had written about what she was grateful for/admired in her day. You did not acknowledge her advice. I took it. I got out my journal and wrote in it. It made me smile. I felt better. Satu is someone I respect and look up to, and her "voice" is something I keep in my back pocket.

 

AMJ recently mentioned to you to take ten deep breaths, as it is something that helped her. That night, I was meditating. I was feeling anxious. I remembered her suggestion, and so I tried it. I took ten deep breaths. That is what calmed me down. AMJ is awesome.

 

Midwest is so funny, loogies and all. She makes me laugh. She's also a health professional and has provided you with excellent advice, which you sadly only shoot down.

 

Blanco is someone you could learn a lot from. Like Buddhist, he is logical and insightful. He has said he shares more in common with you than you think. And perhaps that is a common parallel among everyone who's still here with you.

 

Gemma has also provided you with straightforward, excellent advice.

 

I've never met any of them in person, but I know they're all wonderful people.

 

It's too bad that you haven't taken suggestions from others. They could have helped you, too.

 

To Midwest, Blanco, Buddhist, AMJ, Satu, Gemma, and to anyone else who has offered advice and is still reading: I am sorry your words, energy, and effort have not been fully heard, acknowledged, or absorbed by the OP, and I thank you for being here, for your compassion, for your patience, and for being you. Thank you for helping out a complete stranger, and in doing so, helping out other complete strangers (at very least me). You are all wonderful, and your words and actions are not in vain.

 

Hugs and loogies.

 

I'm just confused at this point since anything I've tried up to this point to try to get better hasn't helped so it's leaving me feeling negative towards thinking anything will actually help. I'm like 0-50 for things I've tried to get better. It just annoys me that even when I went out of my way going to so many different doctors it still wasn't enough to help me. There's no excuse for why they can't help. They're being paid very good money only to just throw me out the door like I'm trash & I'm the one that has to suffer with all the same issues yet.

 

And I might of got you confused with MidWest on the meds situation, sorry about that.

 

I agree it is no excuse to not go to the gym regularly. It would be good to look good on the outside at least, but it sucks that it does nothing at all for me mentally. I can leave the gym & still feel just as horrible as I did before I did my workout.

 

I just want to feel healthy again so I can actually look forward to the days ahead instead of almost never knowing how I'm going to feel from hour to hour. How am I supposed to be completely motivated if everything I've tried so far hasn't done anything for me? Everyday I wake up I just think it's another wasted day if I'm not feeling well.

[Buddhist]

I'll be honest with you NJ you're biggest problem isn't depression, anxiety, OCD or pain. Your biggest issue is apathy. It's pretty clear to everyone on this thread that you are more comfortable with the status quo than you are with change. Humans are creatures of habit and they resist change. It usually takes a crisis to get a human to change. You are suffering form something called The Sickness Unto Death. A condition described by Soren Kierkegarde in the 19th Century.

 

I'm not going to paraphrase for you, you've been spoon fed enough. If you care to look it up a google search is all that's required.

 

No-one can make you want to make something of yourself, nor participate in life, nor care about anything. That's an inside job. If you can't find the motivation in you then you will be stuck. Since none of the physical, rational and usual things are exciting enough for you to want to live. Why not go and find some kind of the off the wall theory that does excite you? I'm serious, go take up chaos magick or shamanism, become a conspiracy theorist, an alien abductee take up quantum mechanics or become an offing Jedi knight for all it matters. The point is, you have to find something to believe in. Any of these things would just make you a more interesting person for a start.

 

Life isn't inherently meaningful. Why do you think religion is so popular? It creates meaning where life creates chaos. It gives a framework to hang hope on and something to look forward to.

[NuevoYorko]

This is harsh but the general takeaway I get from what you write is that your choice of lifestyle is to sit around and complain on the Internet. You certainly wouldn't be alone in that.

[NJ123]

This is harsh but the general takeaway I get from what you write is that your choice of lifestyle is to sit around and complain on the Internet. You certainly wouldn't be alone in that.

 

Yep, I just love to sit around & let my life go to waste complaining. It's great to be able to not be able to function like a normal human each day. I've always wanted my life to turn out the way it has.