Struggling with toxic love life. Need support.

[Osmium13]

Seems to me you're lacking confidence and too hung up on your looks. If someone is going to fall for you, they don't usually fall for your face. Not if they're worth having anyway. TBH, I'm not sure you'll find what you're looking for with online dating.

 

Based purely on your post, you sound like a genuinely nice person. The kind of man that you appear to want will appreciate you for who you are. Be patient and I'm sure you'll attract the the right person.

[Logan787]

You seem like a dynamic person. I sympathize and relate to your dilemma. What age range are you looking for? You sound like someone I'd love to talk to.

[Osmium13]

And it probably isn't him...

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I am a 24 year old female and I've never had a boyfriend.

 

I rarely get any interest or attention from men I meet in real life. Yet I go on sites like tinder and OK Cupid and I get several messages a day! I don't understand what's going on. I'm not sure if I'm attractive enough. I am a short skinny blonde girl. I've been told that I have a nice body but I absolutely hate the way my face looks. People either say I'm ugly or drop dead gorgeous and it confuses me because I'm not sure where I fit. I feel uncomfortable flirting with people because I secretly think that they are going to be disgusted or laugh at my sad awkward attempt since that has been the response I get so far. I have no confidence because all of my experiences have been painfully embarrassing.

 

I think the ones who tell me I'm pretty are liars because the ones who tell me I am are usually in relationships. They say things like "WOW if I was single I'd totally go for you!" Then a few months go by and their gf breaks up with them and they don't even want to talk to me. It hurts getting your hopes up only to be let down..

 

I say I'm lonely right now because I currently have no friends who live nearby. My best friend has moved to Toronto last week and my other friend will be moving to England by the end of the fall. The only other person I'm close to is my brother but he will be moving away shortly too. So I will be completely alone very soon and it's a scary thought. I don't know how to meet people or make new friends because I've had the same friends since high school and I have poor social skills/social anxiety. I've been to sites like meetup.com but most of the groups that interest me are over the boarder on the U.S. Side while I live in Canada.

 

I went to school and graduated with a diploma and am now a graphic designer at a great printing house! They say I'm very skilled and are impressed with my work. I love all of my coworkers but they are all much older than I am. I spend most of my time at work trying to distract myself from the thought of how alone I am in my home life. Work seems to be the one positive thing I have going for me.

 

People always tell me that I need to work on myself first before I can look for a partner but I think I'm pretty well off for someone my age.

 

To be honest, all my life all I have ever wanted was a boyfriend. Deep down it has always been my number one priority to find someone. But no one wants a commitment. I've only dated 3 guys and they have all abandoned me after I got too close to them. Most of them have just used me for sex . Ive never had a real sweet romantic moment with a man. It's almost as if they want a woman who's happy and willing to please them all the time no questions asked. If I show them any true emotion they bail the very second I show it! I'm becoming very bitter and angry towards men. I'm scared that I will be alone for a long time. I am always sad and crying now and as I continue to age with little to no romantic experiance my hope for romance in the future looks bleak.

 

 

 

While this post is filled with personal vulnerability which reads very well, and which 'grabs' the sentiments of the readers, I read some of your other posts and nothing about them says that you are doing a good, or any sort of a job at all at meeting as many people as possible.

 

GO places, get out and DO things (before the harsh Canadian winter sets in)...

 

MEET random people... who all have brothers, sons, old male high school friends, and other connections which could benefit you very well.

 

 

The shy and timid part further underscores that you might do best if finding someone to date after you form a friendship foundation with that person.

 

Even when you do get a date, it reads as if you focus with fear for so long leading up to the date that you're bound to scare yourself away with the pressure.

 

If you live in a small town, find out what's going on in a larger town a couple of towns away, and GO there and participate.

 

Take a class... engage with people on a non-romantic, more casual level, and from that may come something closer and romantic.

 

Most women need only put themselves in the proximity of X number of guys, and (a line will form)... the fact that you really love your job suggests that to take a class or something that might help your work in some way, would be an even better atmosphere in which to meet dating prospects.

 

Even if you're the hottest girl on earth... sitting at home in front of your computer, or remaining in your cubicle at work all day, still has limited social potential.

 

 

So change your personal routine and put yourself on a path that goes nearer to many more people.

[Pete2304]

You've got to relax girl. Sounds like you're a genuinely nice person who after becoming comfortable with someone would have a lot to offer a relationship. To be honest though, it sounds like a first date with you might be quite a tense affair. We've all got our problems when it comes to meeting new people. For me, well I wouldn't say looks wise I'm going to be winning any Brad Pitt lookalike competitions anytime soon but I try and make up for that in other ways. Don't worry about wether or not he's thinking about your looks, just be the easy going girl who's as happy in a sweater and jeans without a spot of makeup on laughing and joking in a bar as she is dressed to kill in a fancy restaurant being wined and dined. It's not your looks that are going to get you the man you want, it's what's inside. Good luck

[Kics]

I was 25 when I got my first real bf. I actually went to theraphy bc I was feeling lonely all my friends had moved and i wasn't dating anyone. I probably only dated like 2 or 3 guys also. And I actually study graphic design you know theraphy helped me a lot and doing yoga. I went out of my comfort zone to try and meet new ppl. I would cry a lot too and I decided I was done feeling sorry for myself. You can start by making changes. Try doing classes at a gym and maybe get a part-time job as a waitress or om retail to make friends. Btw all my coworker already also older, I feel like we had a lot in common. I then met my bf at the gym bc online dating sucked for me. I am sending you some good vibes don't give up hope!