Should he have paid the 2nd date? Why isnt he asking me out for 3rd yet? [updated]

[aSadGirl]

I´ve been on TWO dates with one guy. Both 7 hours each!

On the first one he was already prior to it saying "when can i take you out for dinner?" then he payed for it + a drink + minigolf..

 

But the second date was weird.. we just walked, sat in a bench and he didn´t have any ideas/suggestions to what we could do. Still we talked, laughed and flirted..

Later when we got hungry he suggested a restaurant but before we got there i spot another ive always wanted to try.. i said "The menu looks nice but maybe its maybe too expensive.." but he said "no lets go in"..

Then we had a lovely time eating and talking eyes-locking and helding hands... Then the bill came up but he let me have it! 70 $ out of my pocket right there! (he had to pay same amount for his food)...

Still I tried to overlook this and hugged/kissed him outside, a bit tipsy from the wine and good chemistry i felt we anyways had..

 

Then we went to a bar where he baught me a glass of wine.. We made out a lot then.. I dont know if this was good or bad.. He didnt text me next day saying he wants to see me again (as after 1st date), but rather just "Hope you will have a good day, teaser! :*" (because he felt teased when we kissed). I´m afriad it´s going in the wrong direction..

 

But then we might have went to a football-game but i didnt feel well and told him so. He responded "Hope you feel better soon, i want to see you :*" i said i was better and was glad he said so and i want to see him too..

 

But since then (yesterday/saturday) he haven´t texted anything

I would like us to meet 1-2 times a week if we are dating and not talking so much between.. but i don´t know how he feels about it all...

I´d like to seem him on Wednesday but don´t know how to put it without seeming too eager

 

What do you great people suggest? <3

[Shining One]

Should he have payed the 2nd date?

No, you should have paid for the second date. He planned and paid for the first date. You choose the venue for the second date and it was your turn to reciprocate. It looks like he is setting up taking turns trend, which is fair.

Why isnt he asking me out for 3rd yet?

Who asked who to the football game? I'm guessing this would have been the third date.

What do you great people suggest?

Ask him out. Asking him out once at this stage will not make you seem too eager.

[aSadGirl]

No, you should have paid for the second date. He planned and paid for the first date. You choose the venue for the second date and it was your turn to reciprocate. It looks like he is setting up taking turns trend, which is fair.Who asked who to the football game? I'm guessing this would have been the third date.Ask him out. Asking him out once at this stage will not make you seem too eager.

 

 

Thanks for your gret response, Shining One!

 

Why do you think i should pay second date? Because we didn´t go to the restaurant he suggested but rather the one i came across/wanted to go to?

 

At least i hope he didn´t expect me to pay for the whole dinner?(140$)? Just my part, right?

 

He kind of said "Come hang to the fotball game on saturday" but it wasnt set in stone..

The day before it I askek "Hi, what are you doing? Are you looking forward for the game tomorrow?:)" to which he responed instantly "Yeah, and you? :*"(with a kiss-smiley but he didnt say what he was doing that friday night so i got confused!) i actually got so bummed that i didn´t know how to respond.. cause i didnt knew if he still wanted me to even go with him/his friends to that game or not! Maybe i should have assumed that HELLYEAH he wants me there.. but i was insecure

So i texted just 1 hour before the game next day saying my nephew was on hospital and I didnt feel well too but hope the ones he wants to win will win the game and he can text me later if he wants :*

 

He said "But what! How is your nephew now? Hope you feel better soon, I want to meet you!

Yeah i hope they win too. I´ll text after the fotballgame"

 

I said we feel better both and that im just sad im missing the game but that im glad he wants to see me and i want to see him too!

To which he responded:

"Good you feel better

We won

There will be more fotballgames :*"

 

I waid "Yeah, fun! Congratulations!

Yeah i guess so :*"

 

but then he didnt text anymore....

 

I dont know what to come up with doing if i ask him out.. it feels like its time for us to DO something.. but not at anyone´s homes.. just something out in town. Its the last summer-days here but not super-warm. about 18degrees sun.. hmm dont know what we could do.. just want to get to know him better but bond though some adrenaline-filled activity that isn´t too expensive aswell! What do you think?

[leogirl876]

I think if the guy asked her out, he should pay for at least the first couple of dates. I think the woman should thank him for it as well and then offer to pay for the 3rd date. Whatever happened to the man wooing the woman?

[leogirl876]

Thanks for your gret response, Shining One!

 

Why do you think i should pay second date? Because we didn´t go to the restaurant he suggested but rather the one i came across/wanted to go to?

 

At least i hope he didn´t expect me to pay for the whole dinner?(140$)? Just my part, right?

 

He kind of said "Come hang to the fotball game on saturday" but it wasnt set in stone..

The day before it I askek "Hi, what are you doing? Are you looking forward for the game tomorrow?:)" to which he responed instantly "Yeah, and you? :*"(with a kiss-smiley but he didnt say what he was doing that friday night so i got confused!) i actually got so bummed that i didn´t know how to respond.. cause i didnt knew if he still wanted me to even go with him/his friends to that game or not! Maybe i should have assumed that HELLYEAH he wants me there.. but i was insecure

So i texted just 1 hour before the game next day saying my nephew was on hospital and I didnt feel well too but hope the ones he wants to win will win the game and he can text me later if he wants :*

 

He said "But what! How is your nephew now? Hope you feel better soon, I want to meet you!

Yeah i hope they win too. I´ll text after the fotballgame"

 

I said we feel better both and that im just sad im missing the game but that im glad he wants to see me and i want to see him too!

To which he responded:

"Good you feel better

We won

There will be more fotballgames :*"

 

I waid "Yeah, fun! Congratulations!

Yeah i guess so :*"

 

but then he didnt text anymore....

 

I dont know what to come up with doing if i ask him out.. it feels like its time for us to DO something.. but not at anyone´s homes.. just something out in town. Its the last summer-days here but not super-warm. about 18degrees sun.. hmm dont know what we could do.. just want to get to know him better but bond though some adrenaline-filled activity that isn´t too expensive aswell! What do you think?

 

He doesn't sound relationship material to me. I think you should keep looking. It seems like so many woman today are caught up trying to get the man to like her, when she should be trying to decide if she likes him enough to continue seeing him. It's no wonder men are thinking they should get sex on the first or second date now.

[Mikau]

I think if the guy asked her out, he should pay for at least the first couple of dates. I think the woman should thank him for it as well and then offer to pay for the 3rd date. Whatever happened to the man wooing the woman?

 

The man wooing the woman just about ended when the throw away culture in regards to dating started. Nowadays it isn't uncommon for both sexes to go on multiple dates a week with as many different people before settling for/committing to one person. There's just no way it's financially doable to pay for every single one of them. Especially when you consider the number of women just wanting a free meal/drink seems to have increased.

 

Not to mention, the 'man pays for dates' sentiment comes from a time where men worked and women didn't, so the men were the only one with actual income. Nowadays, men and women get paid relatively equal in comparison. Also, emancipation and equality and all.

 

That said, I think the guy should have paid here. OP made it clear the restaurant was above her budget and he dragged her in anyway. At that point you're obligated to pay in my opinion, and that's regardless of sex. In general though, I believe in rough equality in paying for dates. That doesn't mean splitting everything down the middle, but at the very least taking turns.

[Shining One]

Why do you think i should pay second date? Because we didn´t go to the restaurant he suggested but rather the one i came across/wanted to go to?

Both reasons. I'm a firm believer in equality and you did choose a more expensive venue. A $70 per person restaurant is high for a second date.

I dont know what to come up with doing if i ask him out.. it feels like its time for us to DO something.. but not at anyone´s homes.. just something out in town. Its the last summer-days here but not super-warm. about 18degrees sun.. hmm dont know what we could do.. just want to get to know him better but bond though some adrenaline-filled activity that isn´t too expensive aswell! What do you think?

You know him better than me. I'm sure you've discovered some shared interests. What does your town have to offer? Any interesting parks? There are some parks near me that have fun water sports that aren't very expensive, especially if you can go on a weekday.

[Shining One]

That said, I think the guy should have paid here. OP made it clear the restaurant was above her budget and he dragged her in anyway. At that point you're obligated to pay in my opinion, and that's regardless of sex.

I wouldn't say she made it clear it was over her budget. She just said it was expensive. He had also paid for the first date. Splitting the second date seams reasonable, especially since she suggested the restaurant.

[aSadGirl]

I think if the guy asked her out, he should pay for at least the first couple of dates. I think the woman should thank him for it as well and then offer to pay for the 3rd date. Whatever happened to the man wooing the woman?

I agree.. I actually tried to seem like i didnt expect him to pay for the wine at the bar after the dinner we payed equally.. he payed the wine but i went to the cashier with my card to which he said "its done" so i said thank you i think but i felt a bit weird to this even if i wanted him to pay i just wished i could relax and assume it instead of "playing surpised" its exhausting ;P

 

 

 

He doesn't sound relationship material to me. I think you should keep looking. It seems like so many woman today are caught up trying to get the man to like her, when she should be trying to decide if she likes him enough to continue seeing him. It's no wonder men are thinking they should get sex on the first or second date now.

 

Why doesn´t he sound like relationship material? He told me his goal now is to find The One.. and he have had 5+2 years relationships before. He is 26 years old and have been single for a while.. He have said things he wants to do with me such as go picking mushrooms, go to movies, go to that football game, maybe fishing fish, play Monopoly/games, go to another restaurant he knew and make dinner for me at his home and in long run tent in forest and go to an igloo-hotel abroad etc...so to me this sounds relationship material, IF he means it...

 

But you are right about I should try to decide if i like him not be worried if he wants to see me.. im afraid he mostly wants me to go home to eat food at his place next time (and hope for hooking up?), as that was the last thing he suggested at the end of our date... so im not sure but i will try to wait to go home to each other untill some more dates i think.. I will try to make it 10 outside in town and hopefully by then we know each other so well and feel so sure that we will want to be a couple/have sex but continue as in a comitted relationship - is that resonable to wish?

 

 

The man wooing the woman just about ended when the throw away culture in regards to dating started. Nowadays it isn't uncommon for both sexes to go on multiple dates a week with as many different people before settling for/committing to one person. There's just no way it's financially doable to pay for every single one of them. Especially when you consider the number of women just wanting a free meal/drink seems to have increased.

Not to mention, the 'man pays for dates' sentiment comes from a time where men worked and women didn't, so the men were the only one with actual income. Nowadays, men and women get paid relatively equal in comparison. Also, emancipation and equality and all.

 

That said, I think the guy should have paid here. OP made it clear the restaurant was above her budget and he dragged her in anyway. At that point you're obligated to pay in my opinion, and that's regardless of sex. In general though, I believe in rough equality in paying for dates. That doesn't mean splitting everything down the middle, but at the very least taking turns.

 

Where do you live Mikau? Interesting analysis!

My problem is im mostly a student but have part time job while he has a full time carpenter salary.. so im getting money from my parents to get by, while i think he is fully self-sufficient.. i know this is my own problem but i will be careful not to choose a too expensive restaurant and activities from now on cause i cant afford it

 

And yes, i agree with you i wish he´d pay! I was very surprised he didn´t but tried to hide it with a smile.. I thought he´d pay so i could pay some dessert at another place but since it was so expensive just for small plates of food and 1 glass of wine i didn´t want to spend anymore money that evening.. He at least payed for 1 glass of wine at a bar but it wasn´t any fancy wine.. but better than nothing i guess.. we made out a lot and had really good chemistry but i dont know where it´s going from here.. I dont want to be led on and him pretenting to like me just to get sex.. that would devastate me, i deserve much better.. im tired of "****boys/clowns" that make me belive they love me then leave me suddenly.. it has happened some times and i can´t take it anymore.. but the worst part about them are that I dont see it coming until its too late and they dump me out of the blue..

 

 

Both reasons. I'm a firm believer in equality and you did choose a more expensive venue. A $70 per person restaurant is high for a second date.You know him better than me. I'm sure you've discovered some shared interests. What does your town have to offer? Any interesting parks? There are some parks near me that have fun water sports that aren't very expensive, especially if you can go on a weekday.

I may agree with you too... it actually was me who choose the restaurant so it should have been no wonder i had to pay.. and he did pay a lot for the first date.. i think my food 50$, then drink perhaps 10$ then minigolf for me 15$... didnt thought about it but that´s quite expensive too, isn´t it? For a first date.. we dragged out for 7 hours haha but we had such a nice time, walking close each other back to the bus-station and ended the evening with 3 kisses, everything felt perfect

Well yeah..

He have said things he wants to do with me such as: go picking mushrooms in a couple of weeks, go to movies next, go to that football game (last saturday but it didnt happend), maybe fishing fish and play Monopoly/games some day, go to another good restaurant he knew, and make dinner for me at his home and in long run tent in the forest and go to an igloo-hotel abroad etc...but i don´t know what to do next.. its a bit too cold for water sports here maybe and pars ait that fun.. where do you live? I want to do something that spikes our adrenaline rush! so we fall in love easier hihi

[angel.eyes]

OP, I don't pay for early dates, and I've never dated a guy who actually expected me to pay for early dates. But I also don't volunteer date ideas unless the guy specifically asks me to plan the date. Then I use the price points for dates he's planned so far to make suggestions or plan something.

 

The problem here is that he picked a spot to eat, and you then suggested a more expensive spot, a spot that was also more expensive than the previous date. So yes, you should not be entirely surprised at what happened.

 

It sounds like payment was awkward on both sides and neither of you was particularly thrilled with how it was all handled.

[Shining One]

He have said things he wants to do with me such as: go picking mushrooms in a couple of weeks, go to movies next, go to that football game (last saturday but it didnt happend), maybe fishing fish and play Monopoly/games some day, go to another good restaurant he knew, and make dinner for me at his home and in long run tent in the forest and go to an igloo-hotel abroad etc...but i don´t know what to do next.

None of these seem adrenaline-inducing. You should talk to him and bounce ideas off him. Perhaps he will come up with something you haven't though of.

its a bit too cold for water sports here maybe and pars ait that fun.. where do you live?

I'm in Florida... where it's never too cold to do anything. In fact, it's usually too hot to do something.

[leogirl876]

The man wooing the woman just about ended when the throw away culture in regards to dating started. Nowadays it isn't uncommon for both sexes to go on multiple dates a week with as many different people before settling for/committing to one person. There's just no way it's financially doable to pay for every single one of them. Especially when you consider the number of women just wanting a free meal/drink seems to have increased.

 

Not to mention, the 'man pays for dates' sentiment comes from a time where men worked and women didn't, so the men were the only one with actual income. Nowadays, men and women get paid relatively equal in comparison. Also, emancipation and equality and all.

 

That said, I think the guy should have paid here. OP made it clear the restaurant was above her budget and he dragged her in anyway. At that point you're obligated to pay in my opinion, and that's regardless of sex. In general though, I believe in rough equality in paying for dates. That doesn't mean splitting everything down the middle, but at the very least taking turns.

 

That's really sad that women will go out with men just for a free meal. Maybe I'm different, but I go out with a man that I'm interested in getting to know and interested in seeing if there's a potential for a relationship. I can afford my own meals, I don't go on dates for free meals, I go on dates to see if there's potential here. If there's lots of women out there that do that, they need to knock it off!!!

[Romantic Gentleman]

Coming from a guy, He should have paid for the second date, especially since he's trying to build something with you, but it sounds like you two still had a great time. Just text him asking when you two will be hanging out again. We like it when we know the other girl is just as interested

[Gr8fuln2020]

On a first date, it's coffee or a few drinks after dinner, so no pressure to pay for a meal. Or nothing expensive that may fall on either party. I'm a firm believer in hole in the wall, but good fall at affordable prices.

 

When the relationship has progressed and we are a real couple then more expensive dinners.

 

I do this b/c then, if an agreement is made (should be before you meet) by both parties to go dutch, it will be reasonable for both. If there is no discussion, it should be expected that the gentleman pays unless the lady offers. Come on guys.

 

No communication here, so it was a little awkward.

 

Should he have paid for the 2nd date? Assumptions. With the way some guys are now days, ladies, do not assume that they have customary attitudes about dating. Many of them will throw the "equality" thing in your face and in a sense, they're right.

 

Communication is important.

 

I once had a woman question my worth after our date b/c I did not dismiss her offer to pay for part of the date. She told me after the fact that she was a traditional woman and that I should have paid. The funny thing is that I am also traditional and would have paid w/o question, but was also being careful not to offend by rejecting her offer...which turned out to be insincere in the end. Needless to say, our relationship did not last long. Yeah, she continued to date me....but that's another story. Ha!

[Gr8fuln2020]

It doesn't sound like he did this. I was under the impression he just got separate bills for the two of them. OP, please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Yeah. They went dutch on the second date.

[SwordofFlame]

How did you two meet?

[Dis]

That's really sad that women will go out with men just for a free meal. Maybe I'm different, but I go out with a man that I'm interested in getting to know and interested in seeing if there's a potential for a relationship. I can afford my own meals, I don't go on dates for free meals, I go on dates to see if there's potential here. If there's lots of women out there that do that, they need to knock it off!!!

 

OP, I don't pay for early dates, and I've never dated a guy who actually expected me to pay for early dates. But I also don't volunteer date ideas unless the guy specifically asks me to plan the date. Then I use the price points for dates he's planned so far to make suggestions or plan something.

 

The problem here is that he picked a spot to eat, and you then suggested a more expensive spot, a spot that was also more expensive than the previous date. So yes, you should not be entirely surprised at what happened.

 

It sounds like payment was awkward on both sides and neither of you was particularly thrilled with how it was all handled.

 

He doesn't sound relationship material to me. I think you should keep looking. It seems like so many woman today are caught up trying to get the man to like her, when she should be trying to decide if she likes him enough to continue seeing him. It's no wonder men are thinking they should get sex on the first or second date now.

 

I think if the guy asked her out, he should pay for at least the first couple of dates. I think the woman should thank him for it as well and then offer to pay for the 3rd date. Whatever happened to the man wooing the woman?

 

I agree with leogirl and angel.eyes

 

I've never been on a date with a guy in the early stages and paid for my dinner. I'll offer to leave the tip but most of the time they leave it

 

I may be old fashioned but I believe the guy needs to pay in the beginning...its part of the whole courting process....the guy goes after the girl....he pays

 

If a guy didnt offer to pay at least half...I'd be turned off

 

With that said...I'm not a stick in the mud and I only go out with a guy if I'm interested in him...I wouldnt expect a guy to pay if that wasnt the case...I'm a great date...I'm polite, a good conversationalist, fun etc etc...I also make sure to thank my dates too

 

I know alot of guys feel that their tired of paying for dates because of the women that reject them...I understand this and I think its a d*mn shame that some women would stoop so low as to go out with a guy for a free meal and drinks....thats just sad. I would never allow a man to pay for my meal and drinks if I wasnt interested in him

 

OP....assuming you have alot to offer as a female....let him win you over...he can pay (But next time let him pick the place)

[aSadGirl]

It doesn't sound like he did this. I was under the impression he just got separate bills for the two of them. OP, please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

No, we got ONE bill on a plate. He put his credit card on it.. and i put mine. He didnt said or reacted at all. The worst part of this is my credit card didn´t work! So I got embarassed first cause the waitress had to say "im sorry but this card isnt working..." to which i replied "oh im sorry, i forgot to put money to that account"... because i had forgot the credit card at a store and collected it earlier same day.. but i noticed i forgot it some days prior to that and therefor removed almost all money from that account on the credit card to another so that if someone would try to steal money from it that would not be possibel...

 

So.. i had to sit there a few minutes, signing into my bank and fix the problem while he just sat and watched.. it was awkward indeed and killed the good tension we had prior to it when we caressed each other´s hand and watched into each other´s eyes deeply...

I even was to toilet for maybe 5-10 minutes before the check.. sort of hoping he would take and pay it while i was away, but when i was back he still hadn´t asked for the check! Then he said "Should we call in for the check?" And i said "yes" then the rest of the story...

 

he seemed a bit off after the bill came, but outside like i said i hugged him and we kissed anyway.. then went for the bar, talked flirted and made out more..

[aSadGirl]

How did you two meet?

 

At a dating app.. why you ask?

 

 

I agree with leogirl and angel.eyes

 

I've never been on a date with a guy in the early stages and paid for my dinner. I'll offer to leave the tip but most of the time they leave it

 

I may be old fashioned but I believe the guy needs to pay in the beginning...its part of the whole courting process....the guy goes after the girl....he pays

 

If a guy didnt offer to pay at least half...I'd be turned off

 

With that said...I'm not a stick in the mud and I only go out with a guy if I'm interested in him...I wouldnt expect a guy to pay if that wasnt the case...I'm a great date...I'm polite, a good conversationalist, fun etc etc...I also make sure to thank my dates too

 

I know alot of guys feel that their tired of paying for dates because of the women that reject them...I understand this and I think its a d*mn shame that some women would stoop so low as to go out with a guy for a free meal and drinks....thats just sad. I would never allow a man to pay for my meal and drinks if I wasnt interested in him

 

OP....assuming you have alot to offer as a female....let him win you over...he can pay (But next time let him pick the place)

 

GREAT POINT! I felt that your text couldve been mine as i think the same way and am in the same way on the dates too! Very good/fun date

 

Also pity those who go for free meal.. i had a colleague who tried to pay me lunch but i declined cause im not interested in him more than a friend..

 

I will hope he will soon reach out and ask to see me.. im just afraid he will just pick the date.. then time same day.. then ON the date suggest to do something but perhaps just thinking of eating.. I wish him to rather say: "do you want to go gocart and to tivoli on xx-day at xx-time"? that would be the best.. and then he pay for it.. as in winning me over.. otherwise i feel confused if he even likes me as much as i thought he did...

[Mikau]

No, we got ONE bill on a plate. He put his credit card on it.. and i put mine. He didnt said or reacted at all. The worst part of this is my credit card didn´t work! So I got embarassed first cause the waitress had to say "im sorry but this card isnt working..." to which i replied "oh im sorry, i forgot to put money to that account"... because i had forgot the credit card at a store and collected it earlier same day.. but i noticed i forgot it some days prior to that and therefor removed almost all money from that account on the credit card to another so that if someone would try to steal money from it that would not be possibel...

 

So.. i had to sit there a few minutes, signing into my bank and fix the problem while he just sat and watched.. it was awkward indeed and killed the good tension we had prior to it when we caressed each other´s hand and watched into each other´s eyes deeply...

I even was to toilet for maybe 5-10 minutes before the check.. sort of hoping he would take and pay it while i was away, but when i was back he still hadn´t asked for the check! Then he said "Should we call in for the check?" And i said "yes" then the rest of the story...

 

he seemed a bit off after the bill came, but outside like i said i hugged him and we kissed anyway.. then went for the bar, talked flirted and made out more..

For what it's worth, I would have just paid and not put you through that embarassment. I can believe in equality all I want, that's just cruel.

 

And for what it's worth, I'm from The Netherlands.

[h0000]

I even was to toilet for maybe 5-10 minutes before the check.. sort of hoping he would take and pay it while i was away, but when i was back he still hadn´t asked for the check! Then he said "Should we call in for the check?" And i said "yes" then the rest of the story...

 

Do you really have to go out to the toilet to have him pay for the bill? Does it really matter who pays? I'm a woman and I really don't mind paying bills.

 

 

Just curious, when would you start paying for your dates normally? on the 3rd? 4th? or would you only start to pay for yourself?

 

 

As for the 3rd date, I think it's just a bit communication issue. He did ask you out for a football game. If you want to see him just ask. No big deal

[Shining One]

For what it's worth, I would have just paid and not put you through that embarassment. I can believe in equality all I want, that's just cruel.

I agree. I would hope anyone (male or female) would cover their date in this situation and not judge them negatively for it.

[NIGHT1985]

I always pay on the first date, but the 2nd date has always been Dutch or she pays, and it's not even something I bring up, it just seems like the typical thing now.

 

 

Op, you're in the wrong here, you shouldn't be dating if you have trouble paying for your meal

[h0000]

I agree. I would hope anyone (male or female) would cover their date in this situation and not judge them negatively for it.

 

True. I feel both of them are funny. Funny he would just sit there and let OP go through all the bank stuff. Also funny OP would care so much the guy didn't grab the cheque when she's in the toilet. Maybe they are both bit too calculating?

[aSadGirl]

Do you really have to go out to the toilet to have him pay for the bill? Does it really matter who pays? I'm a woman and I really don't mind paying bills.

 

 

Just curious, when would you start paying for your dates normally? on the 3rd? 4th? or would you only start to pay for yourself?

 

 

As for the 3rd date, I think it's just a bit communication issue. He did ask you out for a football game. If you want to see him just ask. No big deal

 

Haha... well.. for me it does! Im a student with part time job.. im not self sufficient entierely yet so my partents helps me out.. i know its my problem but i know he got a full time well paid job so i think it would be nice if he treated me to that dinner but nevermind now.. i like him regardless and will try to be prepared now to pay for my part but if he will treat me badly or something then i will not be as happy to do so but otherwise i will just have to watch out so that we dont go for activities or restaurants that are too expensive!

 

Well yeah.. he didnt plain out ask "sshould we meet 5PM to watch the game on saturday?" he said sort of "you can come along to the game" so it wasnt set in stone but i know what you mean

 

 

For what it's worth, I would have just paid and not put you through that embarassment. I can believe in equality all I want, that's just cruel.

 

And for what it's worth, I'm from The Netherlands.

Thank you i felt the same... it was awful now that i think about it. I tipped some extra 10% just to spare myself the embarassement...

 

 

I always pay on the first date, but the 2nd date has always been Dutch or she pays, and it's not even something I bring up, it just seems like the typical thing now.

 

 

Op, you're in the wrong here, you shouldn't be dating if you have trouble paying for your meal

 

Where do you live?

I didnt have trouble paying, i just transfered all money from the account that was on the credit card to another since i forgot the credit card at a store and didnt want anyone steal all money on it...

I do feel though that the man should pay more than half.. it just feels manly.. like sometime i will pay for myself but i wouldnt pay for his meals when we are out.. just some smaller costs like a dessert or something if he pays for dinner. I dont feel right to pay for the whole dinner if we go out.. that would be very off-putting and turn-off for me to take on such a masculine role!

 

 

True. I feel both of them are funny. Funny he would just sit there and let OP go through all the bank stuff. Also funny OP would care so much the guy didn't grab the cheque when she's in the toilet. Maybe they are both bit too calculating?

 

HAHA! you make me almost giggle about the whole thing.. true that! maybe if we both are so calculating we fit together? lol

Edited August 29, 2016 by aSadGirl